March 12, 2006. Johannesburg. Australia post a considerably hefty 4-434 from 50 overs against South Africa – a then-record total that finally surpassed the magical 400 mark – and a nation concedes we might just have enough here.
Much like the rest of a confident Australia that Sunday night, I succumbed to the time difference at the innings break safe in the knowledge we’d scored just enough on a 400-par pitch, and hit the sack after my usual bedtime routine.
Little did I know, that mouthful of Listerine and gin would be the last thing I ever trusted.
With Australia freezing in the Port Elizabeth headlights last week, what better way to mark the occasion than by disregarding selective amnesia and resurfacing one of our most painful and repressed memories.
For those lucky enough to have forgotten, the 438 game was the decider in a five-match series after Australia surged back from 2-0 down to square the ledger. The venue: where else but the Wanderers, a place even bunnies describe as like batting in a lounge room.
Everything prior to the match seemed like a normal obligatory one-day match in the mid-noughties. South Africa were formidable, Australia were present, and the result was largely inconsequential.
But the two combatants barely realised this: they were on the cusp of another chapter in their preposterous history of one-upmanship on chokes.
Batting first, Australia prospered largely thanks to Ricky Ponting’s 164 from 105 balls, a stay at the crease described by Cricinfo’s Andrew Miller as “an innings of cultured slogging”. It made Simon Katich’s 90-ball 79 appear criminal, right until Roger Telemachus conceded 19 runs from four consecutive no-balls.
Come the end of 50 frightful overs, Australia had committed a run-scoring avalanche that, despite pre-dating Twitter, exhibited all the signs of a brutal pile-on that would make cancel culture blush.
Mike Hussey played a strong hand in one of the greatest ODIs ever. (Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images)
At this point back in Australia, everyone except the hardcores, the insomniacs and the unemployed decided to leave it with the ever-capable Brett Lee and Nathan Bracken for a second innings purely staged for academic purposes, i.e. gambling.
But what we woke to the following day not only changed the course of cricket, it ignited an unstable world of paranoid distrust that would echo for generations to come, plus regrettably bury some of South Africa’s hilarious psychological demons.
After receiving the perfect start with the immediate loss of Boeta Dippenaar, Herschelle Gibbs and Graeme Smith had anchored the chase with strike rates only bettered by Mick Lewis’ withering clip of 113 runs from 60 balls.
Once Mark Boucher eclipsed the winning total with a four over mid-on, the victorious total would indelibly alter the number 438 forevermore. Never again could an entire nation catch a bus to Balmain, meet friends at 20 to five, or face an Excel runtime error without wincing.
Herschelle Gibbs’ innings was nothing short of outstanding. (Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images)
Without overstating, South Africa’s epic win changed everything. It tore out the rug of trust from under the universe, and decimated the concept of runs on the board from a paragon of reliability to something as trustworthy as the third umpire.
Chasing down 434 shattered the relative stability of cricket prior to its violation by T20 – the game’s most renowned era of mistrust before the advent of ball tracking – and provided a harbinger for a bastardised future of hyper run rates, weaponised bats and names like Jon Jon Smuts.
Make no mistake, it was no coincidence the Global Financial Crisis occurred in the months following, with public confidence trashed by the unknown of whether nine per over was enough anymore, and whether Lewis would ever be allowed near the death overs again.
But worst of all, it caused me – an entitled fan of Australian cricket – to suffer an indigestible affliction similar to those imposed on many prior opponents, plus stuff up my Monday a bit.
So fellow sufferers of trust issues, please commemorate this horrific memory by joining me in a hug. But not too close.
Anthony Anlezark
Roar Rookie
The Semi Final at Edgbaston was the real 1999 World Cup Final, and probably the best game of ODI cricket up until July 14 last year, being lucky enough to be there was beyond my wildest dreams so I’ll always be biased as to which one of those matches is my favourite, not much of a Rugby fan but I do know we were once good at it lol.
Targa
Roar Rookie
As a Kiwi I think the 2019 final was the worst ODI ever played.
Targa
Roar Rookie
Yeah but about a year later NZ twice chased down 330+ in the Chappell Hadlee series and Mike Hussey was captain.
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
I sometimes used to start nights with vodka and Berocca.
Nick
Roar Guru
But they didn't. I don't deny the specialness of that innings. Cracking to watch on the TV. It's the aftermath that has been a car crash. Selectors trying to shoe horn him as an allrounder, batting him at 7, him incomprehensibly coming in at first drop in T20 innings in the BBL etc. He's not a batsman or an allrounder. He's a crafty white ball spin specialist. And that's the way it should stay. For people to say he can bat :thumbup: would be to say that Ajit Agarkar, Anil Kumble, Chaminda Vaas, Mitchell Johnson, Yasir Shah, Jason Gillespie etc are all allrounders based on a couple of good knocks.
Nick
Roar Guru
The worst. A really, really poor captain across the board. He didn't have a clue when he didn't have Warne or McGrath to call upon. Had a tendency to rely on a pace assault without reading whether the pitch would support that.
JGK
Roar Guru
Serves him right.
JGK
Roar Guru
It was pretty special though - if Aust has won that match they probably win the Ashes on 2013.
JGK
Roar Guru
Not the best ODI ever because it was batting v batting. Plus it was meaningless in the scheme of things. The tied WC SF in 1999 and the 2019 Final were truly incredible matches with a bit for everyone.
JGK
Roar Guru
Ponting was a terrible tactical captain.
Tigerbill44
Roar Guru
Similar story in reverse perhaps. One of my friends a pool fan went to sleep at half time against Milan in CL final years ago thinking the game is lost. It was early morning here in Dhaka.
Nick
Roar Guru
It's hard to blame anyone person, and particularly hard to blame someone who spanked 160 glorious runs....but Ricky Pontings captaincy decisions in bowling innings were atrocious. It unfortunately put the exclamation mark on numerous examples where had has failed to defend 300+ targets. At the time, Australia held the unenviable record of conceding the 4 highest run chases in ODIs. All were on his watch.
Charging Rhino
Roar Guru
Some say it's the best ODI ever played. Certainly if you're a South African fan :stoked: What a game! It (slightly) helped ease away the pain of both World Cup semi-finals draws (cricket and rugby) in 1999, that Australia went on to win, which hands down South Africa would've won against each respective opponents. Rugby - in fairness the Wallabies won in extra time through a wobbly Stephen Larkham drop goal. Soo close, yet so far as Australia took the double. Now as an Australian (and South African), I have to support both teams :-)
DaveJ
Roar Rookie
Hard to blame one person, but no Mick Lewis, SA don’t get there I reckon. GFC was another 18 months away by the way.
Nick
Roar Guru
His full name is even better Hendrik Human Dippenaar. His batting had people confusing him for a sloth, so the Human part in his middle name was to remind us all who he actually was.
Nick
Roar Guru
You didn't miss much. He got a flukey 98 and hasn't come close to replicating that type of form with the bat since, although people insist he is an allrounder.
Nick
Roar Guru
No, the worst mistake was getting Boeta Dippenaar out. A opener who had a career strike rate of 67 was probably someone you wanted to be spending a bit of time at the crease chasing 435.
JGK
Roar Guru
I stayed up for a bit of the second dig and went to bed thinking that Saf would get there because Gibbs was hitting 4s and 6s at will. Aust (through Bracken) did well to pull it back but their biggest mistake was probably getting Kallis out.
AREH
Roar Guru
I also turned off right before Agar came to the crease at Trent Bridge, nearly seven years ago...gee I'm a good predictor
David Schout
Expert
What a game. I too hit the sack. And wrote about it on here a while back: https://www.theroar.com.au/2018/10/25/how-i-missed-the-most-remarkable-odi-ever-seen/ Also, how good is it to hear the name Boeta Dippenaar