Sorry England, football isn't coming home

By Junior / Roar Guru

Let’s get one thing straight. It ain’t coming home.

If you’ve never won anything outside of one proper tournament, almost 60 years ago, on home turf, with the help of a dubious goal, then your home isn’t football’s home.

If you’re not Italy, if you’re not France, if you’re not Germany, if you’re not Spain and you’ve not been a serious challenger at multiple tournaments on foreign soil, then your home isn’t football’s home.

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If your league is the most watched in the world solely because of the TV money that attracts foreign stars and not because people love watching Eric Dier shin one past his own keeper, then your home isn’t football’s home.

If you’re masquerading as a proper team that passes the ball around on the deck, plays triangles, and looks for space between the lines but deep down you really want to hoof it to a pair of rangy strikers, then your home isn’t football’s home.

To be clear, England are where they are in Euro 2020 because of a favourable draw, because of Raheem Sterling’s late tilt to represent Team GB on the three-metre springboard, and because every one of their games other than against the powerhouse Ukrainians has been played in North London in what is ostensibly a continent-wide tournament.

(Photo by Shaun Botterill – UEFA/UEFA via Getty Images)

It’s not that football in England isn’t popular. It’s not that participation rates aren’t among the highest in Europe. It’s not that football isn’t the first topic of conversation in the pubs and kebab shops up and down the country.

Nope, it’s just that England aren’t that good.

Euro 2020 is only the second time in almost 100 years that England has reached the decider in a major tournament.

Unsurprisingly, the first time was also in North London in a tournament where they were parachuted in as hosts and jagged a trophy.

North London is also the site of one of England’s four losing semi-final efforts. If you missed Gareth Southgate’s back pass in the penalty shootout, it’s worth looking up. If you’ve already seen it, see it again.

The most recent semi-final defeat came against Croatia at the Luzhniki.

Oh yeah, remember that run? Qualifying for the knockout rounds after wins against Tunisia and Panama, and pipping understrength Colombia before bouncing out those Nordic giants, the Swedes. Along comes Croatia in the semis, their first decent opponent, and out they go.

Fearless predication time:
• England score inside three minutes off a Harry Kane butt charge-down.
• Ten-man Italy win a dubious penalty in the 97th minute.
• Italy score off the penalty despite a Jordan Pickford triple save.
• England blow multiples chances in extra time against nine-man Italy.
• Gareth Southgate, the shootout whisperer, subs on his penalty big shots off the bench.
• Italy win 5-4 on penalties.

If England do win, then feel happy for them and expect another 55 years of mediocrity and underachievement.

#siamotuttiitaliani

The Crowd Says:

2021-07-12T07:19:13+00:00

Kent Dorfman

Roar Rookie


so the English soccer team must have watched a replay of RWC2019 final before the game, so they too could act like sulking spoilt children removing their runners up medal as soon as they receive it.

2021-07-12T00:56:37+00:00

Munro Mike

Roar Rookie


Pre WWII the "Assocation Football" game was known in Australia as "British Association Football". And of course the English own familiar terms for Rugby Football and Association Football were "Rugger" and "Soccer". "Soccer" definitely - - is "English". The irony in Australia is that only once the Britishness of the white Australia (1901 Immigration Restriction act) was diluted to encourage greater more general European migration - - then "Soccer" became characterised here - as we know as a game of European migrants. That's all interesting because the Australian perception is a very filtered one. The very early days of codification were oddities too. Dominated as it were - by schoolboy games. England had variations on a theme across schools such as Marlborough, Rugby, Eton, Harrow etc. The big evolution was breaking out of schools and into community and required a funny little thing called "a weekend". This always reminds me of the Maggie Smith line from Downton Abbey "What's a weekend?". Effectively the earliest clubs generally represent an urban middle class - - and then subsequently factory workers with at least a half day holiday on a Saturday. And.....a common set of rules.........well..........cricket and hockey managed that but football had a distinction or two..........based around to handle or not to handle. And in some cases that distinction became a socio-economic one too.

2021-07-11T23:38:33+00:00

cinque

Roar Rookie


Top effort Nostradamus! • England score inside three minutes off a Harry Kane butt charge-down. So close! Inside two minutes, Kane was involved. • Ten-man Italy win a dubious penalty in the 97th minute. Agree that Chiellini's tackle should have seen Italy down to ten. • Italy score off the penalty despite a Jordan Pickford triple save. Well he saved twice in the scramble. • England blow multiples chances in extra time against nine-man Italy. • Gareth Southgate, the shootout whisperer, subs on his penalty big shots off the bench. He whispered to the wrong kids, sent them cold to the line. • Italy win 5-4 on penalties. 3-2 close enough. 5 of 10 missed. Well done Junior. Almost creepy.

2021-07-11T09:29:42+00:00

Kozz

Roar Rookie


Who did invent it ...pray tell.

2021-07-11T06:26:35+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


JB, that was 55 years, they won a final & the question is did they pay a price for this? 55 years of hurt? Now they have some amazing players with Stanley Matthews & Jimmy Johnstone type skills, it's been a long time between drinks.

2021-07-11T03:50:09+00:00

jbinnie

Guest


waz -Alf Ramsey's successful 1966 team was dubbed by a doubting press as the "Wingless Wonders" a name soon forgotten as the final drew closer. Not a winger in sight with Ball drawn into midfield to work with Styles, Peters, & Charlton so effectively playing a 4-4-2 formation. Cheers jb

2021-07-11T03:39:07+00:00

jbinnie

Guest


waz - The most accurate comment to this subject. To the non-believers there is an outstanding example still in "life" today and that is the "Newells Old Boys" team which is still ,some 120 years after it's founding (1903), still playing in top competition in Argentina. Isaac Newell was in fact an English school teacher who founded the school and encouraged his pupils to play football as it was played then. Both Messi and Maradonna have played with the team in their youth. Cheers jb.

2021-07-10T10:18:48+00:00

Micko

Roar Rookie


That’s a long weird rant Chopper. You need to accept the criticism that comes England’s way with their constant arrogance and hubris in soccer. And most Australians wouldn’t know or care about the 2003 rugby union world cup (apart from being told by poms or kiwis) so not sure why you bring that up??? The aussie cricket team and players do wear thin on a lot of fans (including myself), so sure, they’re ripe for the picking for arrogance and hubris themselves, and they do get called out on it. But you’re forgetting Chopper that smug and arrogant poms have flooded Australia for 50 years plus now(including yourself apparently?), and have been desperate to show their soccer superiority over Australians in that time. My old man was confronted with these insufferable twits for years throughout his playing career back in the 60’s & 70’s. This same arrogance sees poms booing other people’s anthems (even at THESE euros! :shocked: ). That same disrespect caused an all in brawl with Russians at the 2016 Euros after the final whistle blew! :shocked: You need to cop your medicine Chopper. As an aussie cricket fan, I know we’re not going to be liked because of the obnoxious, arrogant attitude of some our players and fans. You need to expect the same.

2021-07-10T09:11:11+00:00

Lionheart

Roar Rookie


Good comment Waz, and I got to say I just love the passion of England's supporters and the atmosphere they bring to any game. No one does it as well. And I'm a fifth generation Australian of Irish heritage.

2021-07-10T09:06:37+00:00

The gas

Guest


We know exactly what’s coming home....... The game football! Just like it did in 1996! It’s really not that hard to understand!

2021-07-10T07:17:25+00:00

Micko

Roar Rookie


Yep. The poms just don't stack up in comparison to a lot of their supposed "rivals". Even here they seem to have got the easy half of the draw.

2021-07-10T07:12:33+00:00

Micko

Roar Rookie


They codified it, which deserves some credit, but not the self absorbed carry-on the poms are notorious for.

2021-07-10T05:15:57+00:00

Micko

Roar Rookie


Fair point. The problem with the poms though is that it seems their only viable option to win a tournament. (I never thought they were going to beat Croatia in 2018, and I rate them a chance to beat Italy here ONLY because it’s at Wembley!)

2021-07-10T03:41:18+00:00

Kozz

Roar Rookie


Pretty good boxing game too!

2021-07-10T03:40:10+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


He doesn't like Australia!!!!

2021-07-10T03:04:33+00:00

Big Mig

Roar Rookie


Aren't Portugal the reigning Euro Cup holders? They won the Euro in 2016, and have been in the Euro semis/finals for the last 20 years. One of the best records in Europe.

2021-07-10T02:56:48+00:00

Big Mig

Roar Rookie


Chris, I agree England has had a number of good players in the past like Shearer, Gazza, Lineker but as a team I think they lacked the “glue”, this team is far better co-ordinated. Southgate has built a good solid squad, just like the Italian team, they have no big name superstars, but strong individuals playing together as a unit. That’s why I think the English and the Italians are two teams that deserve to be in the final. Both playing well, both tactical rather than rely on 1 or 2 players. If you look at the English bench, it is one of the best I have ever seen, as is the Italian. By that I mean, either substitution is usually a good one. The French. Belgium and Portuguese for example probably relied too much on their mega stars. I think the English have a better bench but the Italians are more tactical. So it will be a good game after the 70 minute mark.

2021-07-10T02:48:50+00:00

Big Mig

Roar Rookie


The article is not biased, its an opinion and it is fettered with a lot of truisms and humour. You're being overly sensitive and why attack Australia for when we're talking about the Euros? BTW Australia isn't in Europe.

2021-07-10T02:01:34+00:00

chris

Guest


Bloke7 the casual aussie football fan is torn between whether to follow England (who traditionally are not liked) and Italy (who still feel that was never a pen against Neill in 2006). Neill himself has stated he should have stayed on his feet and not allowed the pen to even be considered. I know if an aussie was bought down like that I'd want a penalty as well.

2021-07-10T01:43:43+00:00

NoMates

Roar Rookie


Pretty bias write up, England have every right just like Italy to win the Euros. If they win ugly then so be it as World Cup finals have been unwatchable at times. Its just that when England do well they are surrounded by hate everywhere, They won the WC once but that's 1 more then most country's even Australia.

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