I can remember my brother turning 18 – I was 14 – and the excitement of his party had my bowl cut and braces buzzing at a level I’d never experienced.
I was so wired that one of the zits on my chin just randomly exploded without any pressure being applied to it. I did think at the time that maybe the other passengers on the bus over-reacted to this…
For my year 9 chum and I, the week leading into the party itself had a sole focus on planning, strategy, and execution. We were going to drink the beers. Our first ever beers. And those Carlton Colds needed to covertly get from the esky in the backyard and into the hole we had dug at the base of the enormous shrub in the neighbour’s front yard.
So, when the night came, and we executed the plan to perfection – to the point of some showboatery via the Classic Tubes (600ml of warm froff) that we pilfered from the birthday boys present pile, which ultimately led to our three-day-spew-filled-demise – that triumphant feeling we experienced the next day, and for the following week, was one of my all-time life highs.
When we got to school on Monday, we were KINGS!! Those Classic Tube cans had become steins of Vodka, and by Friday, I had kissed an actual girl.
After a week of holding court and telling the tallest of stories, it was time to move on. We’d reached legend status in the eyes of our peers, we had reflected with great pride, and everyone came on the journey with us. The story was complete. It was worth the jug cord to the back of my knees as punishment.
But looking back, it was the week of story-telling that became our triumph.
And if the AFL held off trade week for an additional week, the Melbourne Demons would have their week to tell tall tales of breaking the 67-year curse, to bask in the glory of the nation’s spotlight pointing solely on them. They are LEGENDS and KINGS and they deserve our respect enough for us to listen.
Instead, we’ve got Speculation Week.
It is a week of “I think” opening statements. Not facts, nor sources. Just straight up opinion on a 24/7 scale. And that can be dangerous: it has led to Aaron Naughton playing as a defender next year, $120k per year not being enough money for young men to move states and Tom Lynch somehow morphing into a key forward to steal game time from North Mebourne’s key forward prospects, one of which isn’t even at the club yet..
This is a week that holds more speculation than the opening dice roll of a game of Cluedo.
With Trade Week formally kicking off Monday the 4th of October and Free Agents able to sign with clubs Friday the 1st of October, it meant Speculation Week started via Trade Radio one day after the GF.
One day.
Even more bizarre was the AFL Trade Radio twitter account last week counting down the days to their opening day, rather than counting down the days until the AFL GF. I get the need for promotion, but Trade Week can’t be a priority over than the Grand Final… Can it!!??
Max Gawn shares the premiership trophy with Dees fans. (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)
Melbourne had hang-over Sunday to exclusively tell their story. Some great analysis was written. But from the moment Monday hit, to now, the AFL’s own website has written three articles on Melbourne and their premiership glory out of some seventy-plus stories.
There are Melbourne stories that deserve to be told.
Neale Daniher should be leading this week’s news at night and papers by day.
Get more cameras and feature writers out to Ron Barrassi’s place.
Give us the families of the premiership winning team – from last weekend and 1964 – so we can learn more about them as people and how this level of success impacts their home communities.
Former captain of the club, Brad Green, played every one of his 254 games for Melbourne, one of which was a Grand Final loss in his debut season (2000). He saw the very worst of the club with the merry-go-round of coaches, the tanking debacle and then his own dismissal as captain, after being named Australian team captain for the tour of Ireland.
How could the club make such a bone head move against one of its most loyal leaders? And where is Brad now with the club and their most recent success? You want to know too, right?
Let’s hear the full story of Paul Roos and the level of planning that went into this result. It all started with him and a coaching transition plan that actually worked. In fact, no-one does coaching transition better than Roos. The Swans benefited too. His is a story I want to hear this week.
Simon Goodwin has ridden waves during his journey as footy lifer.
As a player, he won premierships, was selected as an All-Australian five times and led the Adelaide FC as captain. Yet on the flip side, he has also been dumped on his head as the player who every journo in the land wanted out of the league after he got caught betting on games, and then again last year, having every journo in the land speculating about his coaching future with Melbourne.
The man is now the premiership coach of the team that broke a 67-year curse. It is a Disney worthy tale. And one I’m on the hook for.
The saddest part in all this is that I am a hypocrite. I completely get the thirst for the fake trades, the rumours, and the outrageous speculation. I refreshed twitter every 14 seconds when Hawthorn were in the game for Tom Mitchell. Oh, how I laughed at pick 15. And I’ve been invested in the Adam Cerra movement given my Hawks have the most cap space to splurge.
As an NBA fan, my favourite part of the year is Draft Day and the first day of Free Agency.
TRADES. GIVE ME ALL THE TRADES!!
I get the fan obsession with Trade Week and all that comes with it, I am that fan too, I just wish the league would respect that the seasons Premier deserves to have their moment last longer than one day.
As an aside, I wish my hangover from 1996 lasted only one day. To this day, I pee my pants whenever I see a Classic Tube.
Bell31
Roar Rookie
Really good article – I’m late to the party, but one of my favourite ones on the TheRoar for a while. I agree that I would’ve liked to seen more of Neale, and I was amused by the lack of reference to Roos — after the end of the Pies ‘coaching transition’ followed shortly by the Hawks ‘coaching transition’, it would’ve been good to reflect on the a transition done well and Roos’ early contribution to laying the foundation to setting the club on the right direction.
Bell31
Roar Rookie
Nice work - i felt a lot like that back in 1990! Lol, funny that you've watched the Couch and 360 a few times - I found them 2 of the more 'boring' episodes I've watched, mainly because they had understandably very little insightful to say other than how amazing the Demons were (which is precisely why you liked them, no doubt!)
Philby
Guest
With you all the way. I'd thought the same for Tigers' flag wins. Surely the final end product of all that trading (and training, playing lesser games, etc) - the Grand Final and premiership ....trumps the start of the process? Not so - it's bizarre.
RT
Roar Rookie
The presise moment I discovered this site was after running out of mainstream media, post the 2017 Grand Final. Of course I had the added bonus of finding the SA based footy shows.
Knoxy
Guest
This is how it is every year. As others have mentioned, none of the other teams want to celebrate Melbourne's permiership win (especially the Bulldogs). They just want to move on and forget about it by focussing on trade week. It was the same when my beloved Pies won the flag in 2010. Our victory was all over the news on Sunday but then Monday there was nothing, all the talk had moved onto trade week.
Griffo 09
Roar Rookie
Exactly Handles. I get what Brett is saying but the reality is we Demons supporters ARE basking in the glory. If you want to find stories about Melbourne you will seek them out. On top of watching the replay, I personally have been seeking out every bit of post grand final analysis I can find. I've watched 360 and On the Couch, found some podcast that I'd never listened to before just to hear them talk about the Dees winning the flag. Been over all the post match interviews, again. Like you, the trade stuff hasn't interested me. We've got a side capable of winning the premiership. The trade period is for everyone else.
Handles
Roar Guru
Well, I have just emerged from watching the grand final on replay. Not once, not twice, but I am now up to 15 times. I have watched On the Couch three times and AFL360 from Monday twice. This is the first season in my life as a Demon supporter where trade week and the draft holds precisely no interest for me. I am not surreptitiously listening to Trade Radio at my desk. I have no mega trades brewing in my head. I haven't memorized the draft order and studied the tapes of that kid from Eastern Ranges who looks the goods. I just want peace and quiet, a good screen, and another couple of weeks in lockdown to watch the grand final again (and again). And then I want next season to start. Its dynasty dreaming time.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Graham Wright won’t let that happen anymore Yattz.
Yattuzzi
Roar Rookie
Are you going to subsidise his pay Peter?
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Thom, what would be your thoughts on the Dogs poaching Grundy? Missing piece?
Don Freo
Roar Rookie
Latest news (that's Jonboy language for saying, "I'm making this up.") With Jason Horne-Francis revealing he is a Dockers tragic, NM and Adam Cerra have been talking. Cerra and our #6 draft pick are going to North for their #1 draft pick. Horne-Francis can now learn at the feet of his great hero, Fyfey. Not a bad replacement. We'll now use #8 and #27 to take some of WA's own kids and trade a future pick or two for a few more 2nd and 3rd round picks. Yo-ho-heave-ho!
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
Nice article. I like the storytelling both in your own style and your allegory of story telling. But with the Grand Final bye, people were tuning out even before the game so it shouldn't be a surprise that fans have been clamouring for most of September to speculate over the trade and draft period. In fact, even the AFL Commission meets on the Monday after the Grand Final and I can tell you they don't spend all week sitting around marvelling at Luke Jackson's third quarter. Actually, aside from making the decision to give the Suns their 3rd year of concessions, the trade speculation has drowned out any news of the annual post-GF AFL Commission meeting, which is bound to produce some interesting directives. The other thing that has people talking trade has been the late State juniors games and kids involved in the WAFL/SANFL post-season. Who hasn't watched Jason Horne-Francis booting 3.3 and getting 24 touches in a prelim for South Adelaide? I spent the weekend watching WA vs SA and QLD vs TAS U19s because some of those kids are going to be playing for my team next year. Usually, these games are done by July, but the Allies were going to be playing SA and WA in October until they got cancelled by Covid border restrictions (what did they expect with QLD/NT, NSW/ACT, TAS and part of the Riverina?)
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
Somebody said earlier in the year that the Dogs were thin at Key Forward, but that's just not true. Where they have been thin has been in defence. Imagine the AstroNaught playing off Ben Brown in the Grand Final. With Jamarra Ugle-Hagan and soon Sam Darcy to develop, Naughton just needs to hold down the key forward spot until Josh Bruce comes back from injury. Josh Schache was written off before this season, but he's got talent and will only get better with more time in the AFL. Where the Dogs can move level with the Demons is moving on from Tim English as a key ruck and finding a competitor to hold down key ruck, leaving English to become a dominant Paul Salmon type ruck/forward.
DarwinDee
Guest
Yup that's rite mate - I never cared about Richmond or West Coast on the Monday after their flags and I don't expect anyone other than my red and blue mates to care about Melbourne. I personally have had an awesome week - nothing but red and blue on my TV, happy to ignore anything not red and blue lol... and it's always been the same anyway - we might be celebrating at Melbourne but there's 17 other club who need to chase us down
Gyfox
Roar Rookie
If the game had been at the MCG I'm sure Melbourne would have been in the limelight until Wednesday.
Don Freo
Roar Rookie
Much prefer trade talk. Let the Premiers enjoy the cup. No other club cares. I'll talk about Freo's 2022 Premiership to anyone next year.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Naughton would likely be up there with Weitering and Moore as the AA CHB IMHO if it happens.
Kick to Kick
Roar Rookie
Yawn! Melbourne! Sport is about the live and the imminent. Fans of 17 other teams don’t give a rats about Melbourne’s celebrations - except to lament the partying idiots who spread COVID. We were interested in the grand final while it happened. But what a lot of sports commentators don’t realise is that as finals eliminate teams it also culls the passion of fans as each team falls out. In the end as followers of the game we’re interested in the grand final. But only 10% are truly passionate about it. When it’s over even the losing grand finalist just wants to forget and move on. So that’s only 5% still on a high. Trade time at least brings all teams back into play and more importantly it offers hope. By the Monday after the GF most are thoroughly bored with the winner and are primarily thinking of next season’s chances for their own team.
Aransan
Roar Rookie
I was the one having Naughton playing as a defender. That was a different read and well done. There were plenty of good stories about Melbourne following that win, but they did tend to get hidden with the trade speculation. I trust the young lady has fond memories of being kissed.
.kraM
Roar Rookie
My brother (also 4 years older than me) bought me Carlton Colds when I was underage. Ahhh, memories.