It all comes down to this. In the final edition of top 100 nicknames, we look at the legends of the game with the most legendary nicknames.
AFL top 100: Nicknames 100-91
AFL top 100: Nicknames 90-81
AFL top 100: Nicknames 80-71
AFL top 100: Nicknames 70-61
AFL top 100: Nicknames 60-51
AFL top 100: Nicknames 50-41
AFL top 100: Nicknames 40-31
AFL top 100: Nicknames 30-21
AFL top 100: Nicknames 20-11
10. ‘The Flying Dutchman’
Paul ‘The Flying Dutchman’ Vander Haar was one of the most important players in the champion Essendon team of the 1980s which played in finals in eight of 11 years. This included grand final appearances in 1983-1985 and back-to-back premierships in 1984 and 1985.
Tall, good looking, flamboyant, a spectacular mark and brilliant, Vander Haar burst onto the scene in 1977 as recruit of the year.
9. ‘Super Boot’
One of a handful of players to have won a Brownlow Medal and a Coleman Medal. Bernie Quinlan was an inaugural inductee in the Australian Football Hall of Fame in 1996.
Renowned for his prodigious long kicking, which earned him the nickname ‘Superboot’, Quinlan played his best football late in his career, earning most of his individual accolades after he had turned 30.
He holds the record for the most career games without playing in a grand final and is one of only two VFL/AFL players (the other being Shaun Burgoyne) to have played 150 or more games at two separate clubs.
8. ‘Polly’
One of the game’s greats. As a ruckman during the 1950s and 1960s, Graham Farmer was unexcelled, with not even John Nicholls being capable of living with him when he was fully fit and focused. Moreover, with his innovative and incomparably effective use of handball – often over prodigious distances – Farmer almost single-handedly revolutionised the sport.
7. ‘The Macedonian Marvel’
When you watched a video of the feats of Peter ‘The Macedonian Marvel’ Diacos kicking goals from all angles it was hard to believe it was possible. Now, such outrageous shots are part of every players kit bag and it is all down to Diacos.
6. ‘Crazy Horse’
North Melbourne’s Gary Cowton won himself the nickname of ‘Crazy Horse’ because of his erratic turning.
5. ‘Silk’
A brilliant and durable footballer, Shaun Burgoyne was born in Darwin and was our greatest Indigenous footballer, serving both Port Adelaide and Hawthorn with distinction and winning premierships at both clubs.
Shaun Burgoyne (Photo by Albert Perez/Getty Images)
4. ‘The Big Ship’
His real success was as Australian Test cricket captain. Warwick ‘The Big Ship’ Armstrong played in 50 Tests for Australia, but during his time at South Melbourne, he was a member of the team that lost the 1899 grand final to Fitzroy.
3. ‘The Flying Doormat’
Shy and reserved, Bruce ‘The Flying Doormat’ Doull with sure hands, effortless disposal skills, safe marking, fierce tackling, and sublime anticipation won the admiration of all football followers in his 356 games for Carlton. One of the most popular footballers ever.
2. ‘Lethal’
The nickname says it all. He was lethal in front of goals but the squat, short legged and barrel chested man was fearless and bought fear to his opponents, on one occasion running into a point post and breaking it off. In a career of 332 games and 915 goals, Leigh ‘Lethal’ Matthews was possibly the greatest player of all time and almost certainly the greatest Hawthorn player of all time.
1. ‘Captain Blood’
The nickname ‘Captain Blood’ says almost everything which needs to be said: Richmond’s Jack Dyer was the epitome of the tough, ruthless footballer who took no prisoners. However, Dyer was also a skilled footballer who won Richmond’s best and fairest in his second year, and five more times over his distinguished career.
The nickname was derived from the Errol Flynn pirate movie popular at the time and suited Dyer down to the ground: both men were tough and ruthless with a touch of dare devil. One of Richmond’s all-time champions.
Thom Roker
Roar Guru
Unless I've missed it, you haven't included one of the best nicknames of all time. Jarrod Molloy = D9. Named after the bulldozer. Bloody devastating in traffic. I could not believe Brisbane trade him at the end of 2000, but they got Mal Michael out of the bargain, so they did what they had to do to win.
Stephen Shortis
Roar Guru
Thanks Chris M. Will work on Top 20 from each club. Best one I came across not AFL was premier league player named Fitzall. Course he got the nickname "onesize"!
Stephen Shortis
Roar Guru
Classic Munro Mike (and everyone!). shows the size of the task, and the individual taste. Suggestions along he way were great, but most of the time missed the cut. Certainly a lot of clever supporters out there! Half way through I was thinking of a top 20 for each club and I still would not have run out!
DS
Guest
I would argue that Buddy is our greatest Indigenous player, followed by Polly Farmer. An argument can be made that should Buddy end up with close to 1100 goals, he may be considered the greatest player of all time. He is certainly IMO the greatest player of the past 20 years.
Munro Mike
Roar Rookie
One that's missed out is the wonderfully scalable Mark "The Fridge" Roberts. Slightly maligned at Brisbane and Sydney before - - he trimed down and became a core member of a premiership side. And his nickname scaled down to become 'Mark "The Esky" Roberts'. A bit like how 'young' James McDonald went from "junior" at Melbourne to the elder statesman at the Giants where he became "Fossil". The players nicknames dominate - - however - - and in some respects making more sense now - - Dean (now Dani) Laidley at North Melbourne was nicknamed "The Bible"; for being as hard to read as. Of course was "the junkyard dog" in playing days. From the North Melbourne perspective - - I gotta wonder where Mick (The Galloping Gasometer) Nolan is in this list??? Brent "Boomer" Harvey. Ian "Floss" Fairley; and I'm sure it's the wine tasting reference - Andrew "Spitta" Swallow. A little more recently Michael "Spud" Firrito (from a potato farm in Gembrook), Drew "Dish" Petrie, Leigh "Patch" Adams, and perhaps moving on this year Trent "Froggy" Dumont (french surname). And of course - John "(we'll stick with eats like a ) Horse" Longmire and Bretty "Fruity" Allison. Running duplicates for Garry Buddha/Whiskas Hocking and Wayne Duck/The King Carey; but missing Tony "Plugger" Lockett.......given the national cut through (and of course beside him was Stewart "Buckets" Loewe at the other end - the late Danny "Spud" Frawley). I grew up late 70s so "Hungry" was Kevin Bartlett (along with Disco and the Ghost and the Flea); the other one that comes to mind was Mark "The General" Lee. Others of that time Robert "Bones" McGhie hat the tatts, the ciggy.....the handle bar moustache. Rene "The incredible Hulk" Kink; John "Sammy" Newman and Peter "Percy" Jones, Warren "Wow" Jones. For footy royalty as well - Bobby "The Geelong Flyer" Davis. And Harry "Soapy" Vallence is a classic oldy. Alan "Butch" Gale. Kevin "Bulldog" Murray. David "The Ox" Schwarz; and Robbie "Tulip" Flower. Plenty of "Daisy"'s; Darren Williams the first I knew of and of course Dale Thomas. And listening on radio - post playing career - - Kevin "Skeeter" Coghlan, and the other Kevin - re draft time we'd so often hear from Kevin "Shifter" Sheehan. Some more 'mundane' but instantly recogniseable such as Stephen "Sticks" Kernahan and Rodney "Rocket" Eade. Perhaps a little run of the mill; Darren "Dasher" Milburn and Robert "Scratcher" Neal. And at Collingwood - - when Daicos was there - a fellow named Chris Dalkin was nicknames "Skills". Also at Hawthorn during their great era - James "The Freak" Morrissey. And Shane "Cindy" Crawford. I've seen it suggested that back in the 2000s the Blues had Kade “homer” Simpson, Simon “Chief” Wiggins and Setanta’s little helper (Setanta O’halpin) Joel Corey was apparently called "Smithy" at the Cats, because if your parents didn't give you a lastname, we will. And Celebrity Masterchef winner Nick "Roo" Riewoldt (shoulda played for North!!). And last word to Bob Murphy on SEN a couple of years back - listed his top five: Clock – Had one arm longer than the other. The Lantern – Not too bright and had to be carried. The Mail Man – Looked big and strong but couldn't play. ...I also heard this as "didn't deliver on weekends" Harvey Norman – He showed no interest. Lacka – As in a lack of brains.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
Can't remember but did Hungry Kevin Bartlett get a run?
Chris M
Guest
That's your top 100. There will always be a few that you choose to leave out for one reason or another. It was great work finding 100 from all eras, even before every reader's time. If you did have a few left over and feel so inclined, maybe there is space an extra article of honourable mentions.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
That's what she said
Micko
Roar Rookie
I sometimes suspect you're a lycan Rowdy! :silly:
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
Not OTTOMH I also think it should be "Compare: contrast and liken". "Compare and Contrast" doesn't allow for liken
Micko
Roar Rookie
And do you have full teams for both to compare and contrast?
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
Ok, I meant Australia. You must have some planets in Virgo.
RT
Roar Rookie
What about Jakarta? :silly:
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
Well the NT is sort of SA's still. Darwin is closer to Adelaide than any other capital city
RT
Roar Rookie
Yeah but I didn’t disagree with ABRP that their nicknames were not that great. And McLeod is not even a South Aussie anyway.
pablocruz
Roar Rookie
Yep. An absolute thug. Also one of the most selfish footballers to ever pull on a boot. His highlights reel of goals is cringe worthy beyond belief. Burning team mates time and time again.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
James Manson - Collingwood. An endearing character unlike his nickname. He's Ben Brown's uncle.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
It dud McClellan twice. What an idiot phone.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
... and Neil Young's best band.
Rowdy
Roar Rookie
Birdman and Bunji played in da AFL