One of my favourite cricket stories sits perfectly alongside the latest English batting debacle.
An international superstar signs with an English county team in the early 2000s. He joins an Australian domestic god, and long-time county star, to create what many believed to be an unbeatable duo.
The team struggles.
Morale is poor, there is in-fighting between players. The batters are pointing the finger of blame at the bowlers and the bowlers are pointing the finger of disrespect – BIRD – back at the collar-up batters. It is ugly.
A team meeting is called. It is the type of open meeting where honesty is required, even if it comes at the expense of hurt feelings. The type of meeting that saw Leading Teams become the pillar of sports team harmony in Australia around the same time.
With an internationally experienced player in the team, he was an obvious starting point for broader discussion around why the team was performing so badly, and what could be implemented to turn it around.
The opening analysis from Virender Sehwag – yep, Virender Sehwag – went something like this:
“Hodge 1’s, Viru 1’s, rest… 2’s.”
Meeting OVER.
If you were fortunate enough to see Jarrod Kimber’s research into the English batting numbers from the last calendar year, and notice Joe Root’s ridiculous dominance over his teammates in graph form, it’s easy to gain insight into how the England captain led their team meeting in the post-game debrief after the Boxing Day Test debacle of all out 68.
“Extras 1’s, Rooty 1’s, rest… 2’s.”
This is bad for England: their batting is not even good enough for the two’s, it is veterans fifth grade.
Root is a class player; technically sublime, balanced, but not entirely blameless in the horror show of this 3-0 series deficit.
As a captain, if you know your team’s batting is historically bad, so bad you’ve been relying on extras as a key contributor, why would you win the toss and choose to expose your weakness to a green wicket, and the home-town Australian attack, on the first day of the series?
147 all out, with an embarrassing dismissal on the first delivery of the match? This was the tone-setter of the summer for both the English batting and Australian bowling.
Moving forward to the next Test, and the remaining two games of the series, both teams will have considerable selection headaches.
Where do England find six batters who can support Root?
And how do you drop Scott Boland after his masterful performance of 6 for 7?
6 for 7!
I can’t stop saying it out loud. Every time it brings a giggle and inner warmth that is hard to describe.
6 wickets for 7 runs. Boxing Day. On debut. In an Ashes Test. It was as breathtaking a sporting moment I can remember.
:(Photo by Daniel Pockett – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)
Debuts, at any level of the game, don’t work like this. Your only goal is to try not to embarrass yourself, and once the nerves ease, then offer up some level of contribution. A wicket, maybe a maiden? That’ll do.
6 wickets for 7 runs? NAH!
Sadly for Scott, this outrageous performance might not be enough to keep him in the team for the next Test. I know, it’s a hard school, but with Josh Hazlewood set to return from injury, it seems likely that this will be a one-off Test for the MCG Magician.
The reality of selection for the Sydney Test is that when available, Hazlewood is one of the first quicks selected. He has been dominating international cricket for a long time now and has rightfully earned the trust of the selectors.
Pat Cummins and Hazlewood are the two must starters. And personally, I’d give Mitchell Starc the guarantee as well.
Starc, Cummins and Hazlewood are as good a trio of quicks as any in the world. They complement each other perfectly.
Remember too that Jhye Richardson missed the MCG Test having bowled the team to victory with a second innings five-for in Adelaide.
Boland was the last man in, sadly making him the first man out.
With the series now in the bag, the avenue for both Richardson and Boland to play in Sydney is for Starc to rest and Hazlewood to be extra cautious in his return from what can be a horrible nagging-lurker of an injury. Side strains are like little brothers: you want them to sod off asap, but they find a way to stay connected. Unlike the tendon itself (ba-dum-tish!).
As remarkable as this debut performance was, and all that has come with, it was the announcement from Belinda Duarte of Boland as the Johnny Mullagh Medallist – a medal based on the belt buckle worn by the Indigenous Australian team that toured England in 1868 – that made the hairs on the back of the nation’s neck stand and salute.
Boland is only the second Indigenous male to represent Australia in Test match cricket.
He is also the first Australian player to win the medal.
In 2018, Boland, of the Gulidjan tribe, was one of over a dozen Indigenous cricketers – including Darcy Short and Dan Christian – who travelled to the UK to commemorate the feats of Mullagh and the 1868 team.
It is the connection to that team and their journey, his connection to Belinda Duarte, who he shares a close bond with – a Wotjobaluk woman, MCG Trustee and descendant of the Indigenous Australian team that toured England in 1868 –and her pride in words and tears when announcing Boland the winner of the Mullagh Medal, that makes me believe in the pull of the universe and fate.
“Some would say the old people have had something to do with this,” she said.
“We carry our old people everywhere. There were so many indicators today that they were by his side.”
It’s hard to argue against; statistical lines of 4 overs, 1 maiden, 6 wickets for 7 runs just don’t happen on debut at international level. They do not happen at domestic level, club level or even your backyard against your little brother, who happily accepts you cheating him out because he loves you more than anything in the world.
Greg Baum, from The Age, summed it up best in his opening lines for a column he penned on the Boland ride – a must read.
“It is a cricket yarn that reads like a Dreamtime story. It’s a dream cricket story. It’s already bound to be handed down through the generations.”
Gee, I wish I could write like Greg, and there is now a generation of kids who wish they could bowl like Scott.
Scumbags&Superstars
Roar Rookie
It's entirely possible Boland never plays another test.
U
Roar Rookie
It was a good reward for a solid bowler but he got wickets against a crumbling English team whose morale was in the toilet. He’s going to be a good cricketing story forever though
BBBT
Roar Rookie
It’s a different game. I wish we had the long tours (in rugby as well) but we don’t. So you’ve got to cut the guys putting the balls at a length a bit of slack. Happy new year.
sheek
Roar Guru
BBT, I concede there is a need to refresh & rotate the fast men. I went back & looked at my favourite era, the Aussies in 1974/75, 75 & 75/76. I tracked Lillee & Thomson for all 3 series, Walker for the first two & Gilmour for the last when he played more tests than Walker. I also converted the 8 ball overs in Oz (back then) to 6 ball overs. Lillee averaged 20, 26 & 17 overs per innings. Thomson averaged 23, 22 & 17 overs per innings. Walker averaged 24 & 26 overs across the first two series. Gilmour averaged only 11 over per innings in the last series. The spinner Mallett averaged 19, 20 & 13 overs per innings. So they had longer breaks between tests & bowled conservatively in terms of stress on the body. So I owe todays fasties an apology!
BBBT
Roar Rookie
Sorry I missed that you were referring to 2019 ashes. There were longer breaks between the tests then. The number of overs doesn’t matter, it’s the break between tests.
BBBT
Roar Rookie
2019 had more breaks and was split between Pakistan and NZ. It isn’t relevant. Against India the batting between both teams was very even. Both had guys go big and hold the scorecard together while the rest were meh. Both had innings which were sub par and innings which were very good. The difference was the Indian bowlers being a bit more fresh than Australia’s when it mattered, ie day 5 in Sydney and Brisbane.
sheek
Roar Guru
BBBT, Yes, don't we all wish for a more traditional schedule! But did the bowlers get run into the ground, or were they merely outplayed (last season)? After, the first test, with an embarrassing defeat & Demi-God Kohli returning home, the Aussies thought the Indians would be a walk over & .......... relaxed. That's always a fatal mistake in sport, to relax & not take your opposition seriously. The Indians showed a spine the current English don't have, & came back to stun a complacent Australia. The Indians changed bowlers through injury, which might have been a happy by-product, but it wasn't planned. Were the Aussies over-bowled? I don't think so. Lyon a spinner, bowled most overs, 187, averaging 23 per innings; Cummins, 162 for 20 per innings; Hazlewood, 145 for 18 per innings; Starc, 137, 17 per innings. A bowler, especially a fast bowler, shouldn't get tired until he starts bowling beyond 25 overs per innings, every innings. Then that's serious bowling. In the Ashes series of 2019, Lyon averaged 24 overs per innings (5 tests); Cummins averaged 21 overs per innings (5 tests); Hazlewood 20 overs per innings (4 tests) & Siddle 16 overs per test (3 tests). Again, the figures are comparable to the Indian series. But the 2019 series was drawn 2-2, & no-one complained then of the bowlers being overused.
Scott Rea
Roar Pro
Brett, I agree with you. I said to a friend the other day that it could be the only test Boland ever plays. (which seems like a silly comment when he took 6/7). However, he was behind Cummins, Hazlewood, Starc, Neser and Richardson in the pecking order just a week or so ago.
Cam
Roar Rookie
Totally agree that Starc, Cummins and Hazlewood are a world class bowling unit and if fit, should be the first three picked. Also agree that Richardson is the next cab of the rank. Although Boland struck gold in the second innings, he was the worst of the four quicks in the first innings. There is some chance he will never play for Australia again and if that happens, I for one will never forget the spell he bowled at the MCG.
Cam
Roar Rookie
Boland has performed well for 4 or 5 overs and was a great horses for courses selection. Hazelwood has been doing it for 56 tests all over the world.
Don Freo
Roar Rookie
Bowled.
Don Freo
Roar Rookie
What's with this Agar stuff? You are weird. I have not recommended him at all. I merely name him as one of a number of top spinners. One, get that? One. How come you can't read the names, Kuhnemann, Sangha, Lyon? If you are going to join a cricket discussion, join it. If not, go to FoxSports.
Mooty
Roar Rookie
What has Green done to fit into your description of the two best bowlers
MarkD
Guest
Oh dodgey, you are fun. Duck weave and deflect , classic Don. At least you stayed away from numbers this time although I would love to see you spin Agar's shield stats from the last two seasons. If you could pull that off you could jump to the head of the queue for next Test spinner. Your WA bias was obvious to all but you apparently . 'The selectors know Agar and Swepson can bowl. The second half of the Shield season is their next audition' . Sounds like you don't rate the others .
Worlds Biggest
Guest
Tough going on Boland if he misses out in Sydney, however such is the luxury of depth. Starc has been excellent this series so if he he is fit, he should play along with Hazo.
BBBT
Roar Rookie
The selectors took your approach last year against India and ran the bowlers into the ground in the 3rd and 4th tests. That series was ‘back to back’ like this one. India rotated and got on top at the end. The difference in that series was bowling. If you’re playing back to back tests, your approach to bowling needs to be squad based. If you have a more traditional schedule (which I prefer) then you’d obviously go with the big 3 or the ‘best’ team every time.
Don Freo
Roar Rookie
Well that was a rave about nothing. Angry? What is this WA rubbish? I mentioned Lyon, Kuhnemann, Sangha along with Swepson and Agar. Did you only see WA there? Take a breath, Mark. Steady...phew. No one is suggesting he is not OK. You just seem to have overlooked the Test performances of Lyon. Could you not find that page in your rage?
qwetzen
Roar Rookie
So that'd be now then.
qwetzen
Roar Rookie
bowling rotations or horses for courses never works The word "bowling" in that sentence is entirely tautological. There has *never* been a batting RoPo in Oz. To which one could say, "Why not? Is getting a big score on a hot summer's day so easy?" Apparently it must be. So we *never* drop a batter after a big score because "He's in form", but the same doesn't apply to bowlers. So clearly RoPo & H4C are Cunning Plans by scummy batters to deprive honest, hard-working bowlers the chance of getting Player ot Series awards. That's the sort of selfish thing that batters do. Those hair products and exotic cars don't come cheap you know. Scum. And a bonus gag! "BREAKING NEWS: The England cricket team has officially beaten the Wuhan Street market for the worst ever use of a bat". anon
Tony
Roar Guru
From gyres! Can't you read? :happy: