Halfback, fullback, prop? Which rugby league positions are your office workmates?

By the outsider / Roar Rookie

Do rugby league players remind you of people you work with?

For a bit of fun I have embraced stereotypes and assigned rugby league positions to workplace personalities. Have I missed any positions?

The Winger

Other names are the glory hound or cherry picker. They are notorious for taking credit for the team’s work when the boss is watching.

Invariably for the rest of the week they display only moderate interest in what the team is doing and generally possesses only middling ability. By Friday, when everyone is exhausted and slumped in the corner, they are as fresh as they were on Monday.

The Centre

Or as I like to call them, yesterday’s hero. Many years ago they ran the place, everyone looked up to them but now the work has changed.

You can tell a centre by their age and their workspace. They often have the desk in the corner, which has a strange sadness to the space, with old photos and dust accumulating.

The Centre is waiting for the full-time siren to sound.

The Backrower

Everyone loves to work next to a backrower. Loyal to a fault, great work ethic and will always take the blame for a stuff up. In the magic world of office rugby league you want half the team to be back rowers.

These are the people that are there when you arrive and still going when you leave. Backrowers are noticed most when they are holidays.

The Hooker

Similar to a backrower but just not as likeable. There is just something about them. They have skills, they work hard but they just seem to have a chip on their shoulder.

You can never properly relax when working with a hooker as they could blow up at any time for some imagined slight or long held grunge. It is generally understood that hookers are the most likely to go postal at the work Christmas party.

Damien Cook. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

The Fullback

You want to hate the fullback but you just can’t – you secretly want to be best friends with them. They are safe, reliable, talented and hard working.

This is the role at work you describe to your parents when they ask what you do. Fullbacks don’t always stay around, they know they have the gift and they know their value.

Some workplaces don’t have a fullback, often centres talk of how good it was when the fullback worked there. These stories are annoying.

The Halfback

Ah the halfback, also referred to as the chosen one, often the boss’s son. The most annoying thing about them is they have talent. So much talent that they get bored and start niggling people, cracking little jokes, starting office gossip and then denying any involvement.

Halfback should never be partnered with hookers, otherwise there will be a serious incident with paperwork and HR involvement. Halfbacks work best with a backrower next to them. A steadying influence who is strong enough to keep them out of harm’s way.

(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

The Front Rower

Like a back rower but prone to the occasional incident. Front rowers are loyal, will work till they drop but they can be led astray and are a bit insecure.

Let’s be honest they are emotionally fragile. At all costs front rowers should not share a workspace with a halfback. Front rowers often need to have things explained to them three or four times.

The Bench Player

I don’t know what it is about the bench player, but you just can’t get big minutes out of them. Monday is a day off for some reason, Tuesday they leave early to pick-up the kids, Wednesday they showed backrower potential but by Thursday they are distracted by phone calls and Friday they are sick.

Sadly, the bench player has potential that is never realised.

The Coach

You have to work with a coach for a long time before you realise they aren’t a backrower. They talk a great game and they know everyone.

Coaches come into their own in meetings, they are confident and full of ideas on how other people should do their job. Then one day you finally realise they don’t actually do any work, they just talk about it.

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The Crowd Says:

2022-08-07T00:55:10+00:00

Maxtruck

Roar Rookie


Sea Eagles cheer girls

2022-08-06T23:31:46+00:00

Choppy Zezers

Roar Rookie


I think the bluff of the utility could have a specific name, such as the Plath.

2022-08-06T23:30:22+00:00

Choppy Zezers

Roar Rookie


I'm a coach and my lot often say I'm like Michael Scott. I guess that means I'm informed, professional, respected and articulate.

2022-08-06T04:35:32+00:00

Muzz

Guest


Fun read, mate. Thanks :thumbup:

2022-08-06T04:17:12+00:00

Tony

Roar Guru


You'll be pleased to know that I played both centre and fullback...

AUTHOR

2022-08-06T02:22:02+00:00

the outsider

Roar Rookie


Glad u enjoyed it Dutski :happy:

2022-08-06T02:08:32+00:00

Dutski

Roar Guru


Great article by the way. Most enjoyable

2022-08-06T02:07:30+00:00

Dutski

Roar Guru


I’ve worked with a few Corey Oateses. Think they’re a second rower but they truly are wingers through and through.

2022-08-06T01:22:52+00:00

Pickett

Roar Rookie


This one is a Beathy special. Well done mate.

2022-08-06T00:16:40+00:00

BP

Roar Rookie


The office doesn't function effectively without the morning tea break with the workers clustered around exchanging ideas and cementing frendships and corporate ideals. The parallel to RL is the water boy; relaying the coaches instructions as well as sips and tips. The water boy keeps the team; "a team".

2022-08-05T23:52:52+00:00

Tony

Roar Guru


:laughing:

AUTHOR

2022-08-05T22:13:37+00:00

the outsider

Roar Rookie


Worthy additions Grouchie. The five-eight very nearly got a start exactly as you describe. :thumbup:

2022-08-05T22:01:01+00:00

Grouchie

Guest


Love the article; if I could contribute to a couple of other positions (although covered by halves and back-rowers): The five-eighth, Can produce mind-blowing work but can go missing three-eighths of the time. They are destined and groomed for the coaches position but are often found out - whilst they are good at their work, strategy and tactics is another ball game. Others often talk about the missed potential of five-eighths. In previous years some realised limitations early and went on to be locks. Strong propensity for five-eighths to be poached by the competitor - which is mostly a good thing for both parties. The lock, Always deliver quality and can be relied upon when the going gets tough. They are dependable all the time - which is strange given most were five-eighths in their early days. Often sought out by other workmates for mentoring and guidance. There is nearly nothing a lock can't do, but keep them away from centres or else mediocrity will creep into their work.

2022-08-05T21:58:49+00:00

matth

Roar Guru


This was brilliant. I wish I had thought of this, but you’ve produced a much better article than I could have. The only thing I would add is centres sometimes still believe they are super important and remember when they were, so sometimes try really hard to be the fullback, but everyone behind their back thinks they are kidding themselves.

2022-08-05T21:56:26+00:00

matth

Roar Guru


Dammit. I just realized I’m a coach!

2022-08-05T21:45:40+00:00

andrew

Roar Rookie


Bit of a laugh t o. I think everyone would have had a winger and a hooker in the workplace. You could always tell who they were when they were avoided at any social gathering, especially the Xmas party. :laughing:

AUTHOR

2022-08-05T21:36:11+00:00

the outsider

Roar Rookie


WASF, how could i forget the utility?!. Great description too

2022-08-05T21:34:57+00:00

Statler and Waldorf

Roar Guru


:laughing:

2022-08-05T21:31:12+00:00

WA Sharks Fan

Roar Rookie


Entertaining reading. You did forget the “Utility” thou. A jack of all trades, master of none. Someone who can do just about anything to a reasonable standard or at least bluff their way through to make you think they know what they are doing. Very valuable member to have to help fill the gaps when things get a bit tough or when one of the others go missing.

AUTHOR

2022-08-05T21:01:06+00:00

the outsider

Roar Rookie


:laughing:

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