Martin Tyler's commentary is ruining this World Cup - time to either put some effort in or retire

Martin Tyler is an undisputed icon of not just football commentary, but sports commentary in general.

He’s also the proud owner of perhaps the most iconic line in the history of the Premier League.

Sadly, it appears Tyler has reached the end of the line as the doyen of world commentary. After receiving plenty of criticism – especially from Australian fans – throughout the early stages of this World Cup, his dull, lifeless and totally phoned-in coverage reached its nadir in Cameroon’s 3-3 draw with Serbia on Monday night.

This was the most exciting game of the World Cup to date – it had momentum swings, controversy, goals aplenty and drama to spare. Tyler called it as if it was a 4-1 Championship game on a cold wet night in Stoke.

Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting’s equaliser – the second goal in just five minutes – was met with a monotone verging on disdain. The delirium in the stands in the Al Janoub Stadium couldn’t have been in greater contrast.

I’m not alone in feeling this way, either. It’s always a sign of poor commentary when a caller’s name is trending on Twitter during a sporting event: it’s usually Brian Taylor on my feed, but seeing a barrage of disappointed posters ripping into an icon was both depressing as a long-time fan of Tyler’s, and deeply, thoroughly deserved.

Tyler’s commentary has always been more calm and collected than manic and exuberant – but part of what made it great was the emotion he mustered at truly great moments. It made them stand out all the more – ‘AgueroOOOO’ the prime example.

He has, unlike so many of his commentary contemporaries across all sports, adhered to one of the great Richie Benaud’s golden rules: “if you can add to what’s on the screen then do it, otherwise shut up”. The beautiful game has always been allowed to flow with Tyler on the mic, and rarely if ever does he take centre stage.

But if you can’t even muster any speck of enthusiasm after two goals in five minutes at a freaking World Cup, then when on earth can you?

Tyler’s commentary on Monday night was borderline disrespectful to those who tuned into SBS. Yes, nobody watches sport for the commentators – and nor should they – but there comes a point where lethargic, lacklustre coverage actually detracts from the game.

We’ve reached that point with Martin Tyler.

Compare his ‘efforts’ with those of Peter Drury, who has officially replaced Tyler as THE voice of football in the English-speaking world. His commentary on Sunday night in a game even more momentous (if not quite as thrilling) as Cameroon-Serbia, Morocco’s upset win over Belgium, can’t possibly be heard without getting amped up.

Hell, you don’t even need to be a wordsmith like Drury to be wonderful in the box. Harry Kewell fumbled over words and rode every near miss, good cross and perfect pass in Australia’s win over Tunisia on Saturday night – and it was magnificent.

No one is asking for Tyler to suddenly become supercharged with joy and emotion like those infamous snippets from Latin America TV feeds that, while brilliant to listen to in small doses, would surely get tiresome on repeat.

Just occasional excitement, Martin. Please. Maybe a rise in inflection at a cracking goal, or an incredible save. I’ll literally take anything extra at this point.

There are pretty compelling reasons to not care about this World Cup – Qatar’s long list of human rights, LGBTIQA+ and migrant worker violations, the assumed rampant corruption that enabled this tournament to lodge here a decade ago, and the sweltering heat in which it’s being played. I assume it’s far from easy for a 77-year old man to summon usual levels of enthusiasm in those conditions and under those circumstances.

But in the privileged position of being able to commentate at a World Cup – an opportunity just about everyone on the planet would sell a kidney for – Tyler is letting everyone listening to him down, and badly.

If he’s lost his passion for the game, then fine. Retire a legend of football and sports commentary, and stop souring your legacy with this damp squib of a finish.