God, I’m tired of AFL players crying ‘homesick’.
Having been sent to boarding school at the age of 12, a proposition I was none too keen on, I know a thing or two about the matter.
I spent the first semester of my life at St Joseph’s College crying down the phone to my Mum, pleading with her to bring me home.
The psychological battery I subject my poor Ma to saw her so distressed that she lost a stone, and began taking my younger siblings out every afternoon – at the times when I would call to make my teary pleas – so she didn’t have to answer me or feel too guilty about letting the phone ring out.
It took a proper talking to from a real man – my older brother, who was 13 or so at the time – to get me to pull my head in (rugby season kicking in helped too).
The result was that I had six of the best years of my young life at Joeys. Sure, there were downs, but they were far outweighed by the wonderful experiences I enjoyed, the great mates I made and the top-notch education I received.
Now a full-grown adult (well, that’s what the judge said), I’m back living in Newcastle, the place where I so yearned to be brought home.
Apologies for the abridged life story (I didn’t even mention the incident with the lawnmower – trust me, you want to hear that yarn one day), but I can’t help feel it’s somewhat applicable to these grown-ass men in the AFL who say they’re homesick.
If a 12-year-old kid can learn to stop crying to his mum, get on with things, and end up turning the whole experience into one of his most cherished – then make the decision to move home after things have run their natural course – surely a young man living in Sydney or Brisbane, who’s getting paid a small fortune to play footy, can get over it and accept that home will be there when their career wraps up?
Dead-set, you’re footy players! You’re on wages better than 99 per cent of the population, spend your days knocking about with mates of a similar age, and would have no trouble finding romantic interests.
Best of all, living in non-AFL territory, you’re probably not even getting noticed by the average punter, let alone hounded by the paparazzi.
So if my 13-year-old brother was man enough to tell me what was what, well, how about Gil McLachlan or someone at AFL HQ starts saying the same to their players?
To be fair, Greater Western Sydney chief executive David Matthews had a decent crack at it this week.
“I think the competition’s got to somehow get over this go-home factor. People qualify as doctors and head off to New York for a ten-year career, and we seem to think that there’s this homesickness that just pervades the competition,” Matthews told 3AW’s Sportsday.
“I think if you’ve got a good culture and a prospect of winning, that’s what’s going to hold players in the northern states.”
And this is where the story somewhat pivots.
As I think we’re all abundantly aware, homesickness is generally just so much bulldust.
There have been men of conviction, like Cyril Rioli, who retired midway through this season to head home to Darwin – although, it should be noted, he had a pretty cracking career first.
Cyril Rioli. (Photo by Adam Trafford/AFL Media/Getty Images)
But most players suffering from homesickness are actually sick of playing for a crap team. And, due to the nature of the draft, many of the game’s brightest young prospects tend to end up at clubs that are a long way from their premiership window opening.
Which – fair enough – is tough, so it’s not unreasonable to want to go to a club where the chances of a flag are much better.
But to say “I’m homesick” is such a weak way to try to break a contract, and it’s time the AFL put a stop to it.
The game needs to issue an open-and-shut edict:
“You know what you’re signing up for when you enter the draft, you’ll go where you’re sent and then can earn the right to choose your next club by knuckling down, training hard and playing well.
“You might even discover that you actually like it in this different Australian city, which is probably only an hour or so from home by plane.
“Homesick? Call your mum and have a cry.”
It’s one of the few ways that rugby league actually leads the AFL in off-field matters – an NRL player wouldn’t be caught dead requesting to leave a club because they’re homesick.
Instead, they say their wife and kids are homesick, then request a leave on compassionate grounds.
It’s called being a real man.
New York Hawk
Roar Rookie
True, but the ruthlessness of professional sport here means attitudes are different When it comes to who you play for.
Mister Football
Roar Guru
George Costanza was a marine biologist for one day.
Mister Football
Roar Guru
Well, if you were a Brazilian from the slums of Rio, you'd probably prefer staying in Paris, Barcelona or London rather than go back to your childhood home.
Mister Football
Roar Guru
Imagine if they plonked a team in Tassie and were expecting 18 and 19 year olds to move there, while every 18/19 year old Tasmanian is trying to get out of the joint.
Stuart Thomas
Expert
I was with you there Joe.
Gordon P Smith
Roar Guru
Without taking a side on the roaring debate taking place in the comments about the merits or hypocrisy of the article itself, let me add a foreigner's perspective to the topic. Or at least an American's. I can't remember ever hearing any US player talk about being traded or retiring early or whatever because they were "homesick" for another part of the country. (I have heard futbol - "soccer" - players say that after living abroad for a while.) The closest I can think of is LeBron returning to Cleveland after four years in Miami to "bring a title to my hometown". The topic has fascinated me from afar for quite a while, and makes me wonder if that's a fundamental difference in Aussie v Yank cultures. We also have boarding schools but what you hear universally is that it's the "privilege of the rich", not that it makes the kids homesick, although they undoubtedly are at times). I went to college about 800 km from home, and after a tough first couple of weeks loved it. (Full disclosure - I did have to come home a couple of years in, because of my mother's impending death. Related but not the same.) The comment that hit home to me, following professional sports from a non-participant's perspective, is that they're getting paid far more than I ever made to play a game for one of the top 18 clubs in the country. So, either they need to understand that's the nature of the business they've chosen - you can't live just anywhere to do your particular job; a marine biologist probably has to live by the ocean - or stop using it as an excuse to get out of a club situation they don't like.
asd
Guest
Wow if i had to move to Adelaide full time i would Sook to
Hawker
Guest
Cyril's dad is unwell so makes sense for him to be near him.
Fat Toad
Roar Rookie
Good point. Do boarding house-mothers wear maid's uniforms? I had always thought that the reason why the English sent their kids to boarding school was to guarantee the survival of people who cook really bad food by ensuring they had a class of people who appreciated really bad food.
Fat Toad
Roar Rookie
The home sick thing is really not a criticism for the player but their parents. Kids are the product of their environment, they are not self made. My mum was sick when I was young (7yo) and I was packed of to aunts and uncles for what seemed like forever. I did become fairly independent and went interstate to uni. But my sister, was never pushed out of the nest and is an apple that fell and landed very close to the tree. It is really up to the parents to make there kids into robust and independent adults. By the time a kid is in their mid teens the die is cast. On thing that seems to make this less of a problem in US sports is that most pro athletes in the US have already been through the uni system before being frafted. Typically, they would be in their twenties rather than straight out of highschool. One of the reason pro teams were supportive of the no drafting straight from high school were issues about physical and emotional maturity of draftees.
Joe
Guest
Rightio, so people aren't allowed to play AFL and want to live near their home, got it. "Most of the players with “well-being” issues have problems saying no to the temptations which come along with being a professional footballer." Oh I'm very sorry! I didn't realise you'd done a psychological analysis of every AFL player with mental health issues!
Penster
Roar Guru
Why a picture of Cyril for the "homesick" article? Cyril, formerly a Scotch College boarding student drafted to Hawthorn, resigned a on the tail end of persistent injury and inconsistent form, and after 4 flags and a Normie, he's paid his dues. He wasn't looking for an out for more money or a better club under the guise of "homesickness", he was giving the gig up altogether.
Downsey
Roar Pro
Yeah, I wondered whether he was being sarcastic too. A real man equals his 13-year-old brother, and later a bloke who blames his family rather than himself...
Cat
Roar Guru
As long as Kelly honors his contract, he can do as he pleases. Once he is out of contract then he can ask for a trade but should not be allowed to dictate where to. He isn't a free agent. He hasn't earnt that right.
paulywalnuts
Guest
This doesn't seem to happen at European soccer clubs, does it? Or in the States. Professional players wanting to return to Buenos Aires of Baton Rouge because of homesickness. A fat paycheck seems a pretty good cure for this affliction. In most cases it seems to be a matter of wanting to have your cake and eat it too- it's a bad look for the AFL but I'm not sure what can be done about it.
Cat
Roar Guru
Sure, but it really comes down to mentality. Moving away from home is part of going to university for a large number of college bound Americans. Culturally, Americans are far more open to moving around.
Cat
Roar Guru
Funny that you mention electrician, plumber or lawyer not having to move but then you go on to mention your time in the military. You can expect to experience a number of moves throughout your Army career, based on service needs and deployment opportunities. While this can be disruptive to family life, the Army will support you and your family throughout transitions. Talk about your mixed messages.
TomC
Roar Guru
I'm not sure if there's supposed to be a real message underneath the sarcasm, but I think maybe it's all a bit too subtle.
Onside
Guest
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in boarding school until you get older. Little things, like when homesick, being spanked every day by an older woman , stuff you pay good money for in later life. (Emo Phillips)
WCE
Roar Rookie
awesome story !! that also leads to why bother signing a contract when contracts these days are worth stuff all so why bother.