Where have all the characters of the game gone?
The Allen Jakovich-Mark Jackson-Warwick Capper mercurial nutcase that had the crowd enthralled, eyes wide, no idea what was next.
We have become so desperate for such characters that the media has taken it upon itself to anoint the likes of Max Gawn and Patrick Dangerfield as the league’s resident eccentrics.
With respect to those two, they’re fairly normal blokes.
Good for the game, yes.
Captivating figures? Not quite.
I may be in the minority but Max Gawn brewing skinny lattes in some laneway is not my idea of an off-the-wall character.
This trend towards conformity is at least partly explained by the administration of the league.
The AFL has taken many of its cues from the NFL, with its obsessive focus on committees and rule changes, meting out punishments for wrongs on the field and off, and – above all else – the prioritisation of profits.
This has served the AFL well in many respects – the financial health of the game and its reach into Aussie households leaves other codes for dead – however, it has stripped the game of so much of the innovation and joy that made it great to begin with.
The NFL is so intolerant of divergent characters that it has tied itself in knots over issues as stupid as what is the acceptable level of player celebration.
This is a league whose two signature characters are Antonio Brown and Odell Beckham Jr, whose personas are largely defined by their furious rejection of the suffocating environment imposed upon them.
Odell Beckham Jr. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez, File)
Is that something we want to emulate? Players stripped of their expression and coerced into a league-wide hive-mind, follow the leader mentality?
I don’t think so.
If you don’t believe we’re heading down that road, look at the nauseating response to Steven May’s consumption of a pint or three on a Sunday arvo – God forbid – in public.
Aside from any discussion over the rights of an employer to determine workplace behaviours, this can hardly appeal to common sense.
The idea that all people function best behaving the same way misunderstands human nature.
If people have genuine concerns with May’s professionalism, that’s fine, but the faux moralising coming from Garry Lyon and Paul Roos on the On the Couch programme was a bit much, as was the suggestion that May was going to apologise to his team-mates for his supposed transgression.
What on earth for? Can we take a breather and pump the brakes for once?
Not every incident requires an immediate public dressing down as seems to be the case these days.
While I’m on the topic of the media, it too is guilty of the shallow conformity that is infecting the football world.
When was the last time there was a genuine, robust disagreement on one of the myriad same-same panel shows about an on-field issue of substance?
Not vague hints concerning invisible-to-the-public topics of behind-the-scenes political machinations or whether or not it’s OK to have a beer on Sunday.
The AFL is crying out for a down under version of First Take, at least the version featuring Skip Bayless sat opposite Stephen A Smith and not home-brand Skip, Max Kellerman.
Granted, that show and its imitators have their own issues – sensationalism and takes for the sake of having a take – but at least the fans would be getting someone willing to stick their necks out.
Alas, the narrative appeal of the game lives and dies on its players. There is hope.
Jack Higgins is one of the AFL’s few characters. (AAP Image/Julian Smith)
During my skin-deep research into this topic, a friend pointed out Jack Higgins to me as a genuine character.
I had to agree he’s been a breath of fresh air since entering the league.
I dearly hope his youthful exuberance and could-say-anything excitement is not drilled out of him in countless hours of media training.
What can be done about it?
The answer to the AFL’s character vacuum is Jack Higgins recording a modern classic in the mould of I’m an Individual or I Only Take What’s Mine. Something along the lines of 1000 Minutes Per Second would work beautifully.
In all seriousness, both the clubs and the media should give players the space to let their hair down and think of themselves as something other than footballers occasionally.
The results might surprise people.
Hell, we might even get a decent ad on Fox Footy.
Spanner
Roar Rookie
He was crazy - jumped the fence and jobbed a heckler during a SANFL game - absolutely mad ! (Brent Crosswell should be on the list - and he played well in big games - Barassi loved him)
Mal
Roar Rookie
The game is so stirile now days no one is allowed to have a touch of larrikin in him it seems a letter of the alphabet will get him players of yesteryear like Mal Brown ,Mark Jackson etc would never get to play afl the rules committee would see to that .No matter how skillfull a player he wouldn’t be allowed to have that individuality.
DingoGray
Roar Guru
Come on Pete, these blokes have to make a living somehow after footy. let's face it there's not many Rocket Scientists amongst them. Look at half the blokes who end up with Media gigs.
TomC
Roar Guru
I don't think there's a relationship between sprinting to the contest and Ross Lyon.
Aus in Engerland
Guest
Making games shorter would be the worst thing possible. It would just mean that players could sprint to the contest more and the entire game would be a Ross Lyon bore-fest. In the pre-interchange cap days, the worst games to watch were the Ross Lyon coached ones as the the entire game plan was based on gut-running to create a never ending clogfest. The cap made this a less available game plan, and shortening quarters would just bring it back. I'd rather see the game stay the same length and the interchange cap lowered.
J.T. Delacroix
Guest
Can’t argue with that, Slane. Ask Phil Egan what he thinks about Jackson the so-called ‘character’.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
The worst ones 6 x 6 are the ones who do the country talk nights without having even being good players. How is Grant Thomas nowadays?
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Ha. That really made me laugh Slane. I have heard the same from more than one source about both.
User
Roar Rookie
I like my team winning premiership cups not having a couple of media hungry blokes setting themselves up for the lucrative country football talk nights with dinner and drinks included.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Yeah Pope and mad as a hatter. Fully expected him to deck an umpire one day.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Yeah I did Richie out of personal bias. Just couldn't stand the guy.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
Robbie Muir. More frightening than Lockett I reckon.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
I agree mostly. A Jako was certainly out there. He was on his own exuberant planet. I reckon he could have been persuaded to rein it in. A real natural. Jacko was a non drinker but he must have eaten a lot of pies. Slow even by the standards of the day. He would have had to swallow too much pride for today's footy. Capper I think is a little bit misunderstood. Apart from the spectacular marking and great goal sense, he was also a very hard worker. I've never read anything from any Sydney team mates that he was anything other than a top bloke. T Shirt Tommy was a great influence no doubt. I think he would have made it in this era, although perhaps in another position. What would the recruiters have made of his AFLW distance kicking though?
RT
Roar Rookie
You missed Mark Jackson.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
I reckon footy was better when scoring was easier (relatively) and higher in the spectacular Capper and Jakovich days. They earn't everything they got and plenty of thick ears.
Slane
Guest
After having the displeasure of working with both Mark Jackson and Warwick Capper all I can say is good riddance. Put Fevola in the same bracket. They aren't 'characters'. They are d-heads that were so good at footy you couldn't keep them off the team.
Raimond
Roar Guru
When I hear of a sporting “character”, it usually translates in my head as “yobbo” or “sleaze.”
TomC
Roar Guru
I think footy players are just kind of boring people, really. I'm not very interested in what they have to say or how they celebrate, whether it's Mark Jackson, Adam Goodes or Ryan Lester. I am however very interested in making sure there is space for more dynamic athletic types in the league, similar in that sense to Allen Jakovich or Warwick Capper. I think the focus is too much on stamina and fitness, and it weeds out mercurial, exciting players at junior levels, and trains them to be predictable and one-paced. I say we make games shorter so players don't have to run as far, and stop changing the rules to try and make scoring easier. The harder scoring is, the greater relative benefit for exciting players who can score in unconventional ways.
Grand-Dag
Guest
Lets face it, footy is just another entertainment package. The fervor of club loyalty has diminished, not dead but much less than the 'old days'. It is not the "life and death, it is much more important that" scenario now, and as such we now get the sanitized version of what used to enthrall us. It will die a natural death like basketball, soccer and tennis (in Australia). Cricket is lucky it had a couple villains last year to create some interest. Folau is the closest thing the AFL has had as a bad boy in recent years, but I doubt he would have tried such a stunt while at GWS. We probably will end up with avatars playing the game, so at least then we will be able to have some 'Game of Thrones' mayhem - on and off the field.
Peter the Scribe
Roar Guru
Some great characters off the top of my head in no particular order in 45 years as a huge footy fan. Crackers Keenan (Nutter) Fabulous Phil Carman (Showy, fiery and a footy genius) Warwick Capper (Spectacular mark, Swans playboy) Paul Van der Haar (would have at least a smoke at half time if not a beer) Dermott Brereton (the strut, the swagger, the hair, the boots, the 89 GF, tough as anyone) Plugger (Scary man, scary good) KB ( was very good and about 66 Kg dripping wet) Dipper ( huge character, also tough as anything) Blight ( as a player and a coach was a walking headline) David Rhys Jones (never gave an inch) Peter Bosustow (worth your ticket win or loss) Gary Ablett Snr (not a character as such but such a freak his skills became his character) Rene Kink (The Hulk). Makes me realise a lot of the big characters of the game were "made" by Lou Richards as a commentator. Now all we get is Dwayne Russell's "picked his pocket" .