Not everything about old-school rugby league was as great as dewy-eyed nostalgia would have us believe.
Back in the ‘90s, fans had to endure the bitter Super League war, wall-to-wall cigarette ads and the Broncos actually winning matches.
But there was certainly something magical about the cotton jerseys and Tina Turner anthems that defined the era — and these blokes would’ve fit right in. From the unlucky to the unshorn, meet the eight current NRL players who’d love to hop into the DeLorean and take a trip back in time.
Matt Moylan
Remember when Moylan’s former Penrith teammates reportedly dobbed on him for a having a few beers after an away game in Melbourne back in 2017? No wonder they’re former teammates.
The bloke deserved a dressing room who’d join him at the drip tray rather than rat on him for being there, and there were plenty of those knocking around before footy turned professional.
Nathan Cleary
Cleary is another Penrith product who would’ve looked better in a brown Chocolate Soldiers jumper rather than a black Panthers one. First, that carved-from-granite chin belongs on the cover of an old-school rugby league Week magazine.
Second, there was no such thing as TikTok back in the day.
Payne Haas
Wind back the clock a quarter of a century and a Broncos player this good would’ve collected a premiership medal nearly as often as he celebrated Christmas. In 2020, though, Haas plays a lone hand in a struggling team — think Allan Border circa 1985.
(Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)
Jake Friend
If Haas is the Allan Border of rugby league, then Friend is the Stuart MacGill, stuck behind the greatest of all time in his position. While Cameron ‘Warnie’ Smith racked up 42 Origins before retiring from rep footy in 2017, the Roosters hooker is yet to play one, first overlooked for Andrew McCullough in 2018 then ruled out through injury last year.
A long-awaited debut might come this November, but after 13 seasons of assaulting his body at NRL level, the 30-year-old’s prime is in the past.
Josh Papalii
When Ricky Stuart said Papalii “will go down as one of those greats of this club”, the Canberra coach was speaking with authority — Stuart himself is Raiders royalty and he played with every other member of the Green Machine’s honour roll.
Those early ‘90s Raiders weren’t just good, they were scary, and the sight of Big Papa squeezing into a Canberra Milk jumper to pummel blokes in tandem with Mal Meninga or Glenn Lazarus would’ve only cranked up the fear factor.
Josh Jackson
Plonk the Dogs captain in the 1980s and he’s a worthy foe for Ray Price — a pair of punch-above-their-weight perpetual motion machines tackling themselves to a standstill in one of those infamously gruelling Canterbury-Parramatta grand finals. Keep him in the 21st century and he’s stuck toiling for a team that couldn’t be further from a decider.
Jai Arrow
The Gold Coast man is moving to Redfern next year — but if we’re sticking him in the time machine, then Leichhardt must be the destination. Arrow’s flowing locks would look right at home packing down next to Kerry Hemsley and Kevin Hardwick at a packed Lilyfield Rectangle.
Herbie Farnworth
The young English Bronco deserves his spot on this list for his name alone — Herbie Farnworth is a moniker that belongs on a 1935 Challenge Cup final team sheet rather than an electronic Suncorp Stadium scoreboard in the year 2020. See also: Lindsay Collins, Billy Burns and Patrick Carrigan.
mushi
Roar Guru
It's finals time. You take the points on offer
The Barry
Roar Guru
Great read...nice to see something a bit different As a Bulldogs fan, Josh Jackson really does deserve better. He’d look perfectly in place slotting into the second row alongside Steve Folkes or David Gillespie in those great 80s teams
qwetzen
Roar Rookie
Blocka? Jaysus! How does RL ever hope to become vertically integrated with our society while this boofhead is allowed anywhere near a mike? And just as annoying.... Foxtel have instructed their comms to build up the game by over-hyping every player and every bleedin' thing. Just recently one mike jockey hyped up the Raiders as "a great team". Blimey! Masses of years when the finals were missed, one GF, which they lost, in about the last 20 years and they're not even in the top four lately! Let's stick to reality please Fox.
Hard Yards
Roar Rookie
Oh dear
Paul
Roar Guru
agreed. Tommy would crush him, I reckon? Even now.
Tony
Roar Guru
:happy: :happy: :happy:
mushi
Roar Guru
I'd have him over Todd or coyne
mushi
Roar Guru
Just like in the Covid economy, the old hookers would struggle.
Tony
Roar Guru
Can't get enough of Jack
Tony
Roar Guru
Ennis would be way out of Tommy's league
Paul
Roar Guru
you like the sound of bleeping, Barry, cos I reckon that's pretty much all you'd hear? :happy:
Paul
Roar Guru
when I wrote my comment, I had a mental vision of him mouthing off to Tom Raudonikis and wee Tommy laying one on his nose! It was a very satisfying mental vision. :happy:
no one in particular
Roar Guru
Moylan belongs to an era in the futures, where tackling doesn't exist
Tony
Roar Guru
Nat, what I'd like is a microphone in Bellamy's coaches box
souvalis
Roar Rookie
Apologies, love Jack. I was talking about Mick Ennis .
Nat
Roar Rookie
I'd rather watch the action in that box.
Nat
Roar Rookie
Probably but I haven't seen Jack take a backward step yet. He's a but nuts.
Nat
Roar Rookie
I reckon he's lucky he played in this era. His hands would want to be as quick as his mouth to go back a generation.
souvalis
Roar Rookie
But those blokes could walk the talk. He would have been knocked out every week in the first scrum that went down.
Phil
Roar Rookie
Michael Ennis is the greatest coward to ever play the game, an absolute grub of a player, a hit and run merchant who hid behind others when the going got tough. Nathan Hindmarsh summed him up by calling him for what he is, a grub. If Ennis played in the 80's his career would be over in his first season. Blokes like Les Davidson and Craig Young to name a couple, would belt Ennis into the next century. When the no punch rule came in Ennis' cowardly acts grew knowing he was protected by the rules. Even when he stirred up the Canberra crowd after a game he knew they couldn't storm the field and get to him. Cowards like him should be erased from RL history.