In its second serious gaffe within a week, the Daily Telegraph has accidentally revealed the winner of the NRL grand final three days before kick-off.
The result, a Melbourne victory over Penrith in a thriller 19-18, was inadvertently published by the Telegraph on Friday morning in a news piece headlined ‘Smith retires after grand final victory’. The media outlet had already prematurely published Monday night’s Dally M result three hours prior to the official announcement on the Fox Sports coverage of the event.
The latest debacle has left the Telegraph red-faced, and NRL HQ furious.
It has been widely believed that the Storm captain would only draw the curtain down if Melbourne won the grand final, a result which was until now no certainty given the Panthers’ incredible winning record.
After several years of speculation about when he would retire, there have been concerns that the circus around Smith’s decision was becoming a distraction from the game itself. As a result, NRL HQ has now apparently taken unprecedented action to ensure the uncertainty is resolved on grand final day. Following negotiations that were described as “difficult”, it is understood that the result of the decider was agreed late on Wednesday night between the teams and the NRL, ensuring the last hurdle to Smith’s retirement was removed.
The anxiety that drove the NRL head office to press for the unusual arrangement has been revealed in a leaked internal discussion memo from a senior official:
“Smith’s lap of honour after the match against the Raiders means the window for his retirement is now open. But if the Panthers win, and this chance goes begging, it raises the real possibility that Cameron may decide to play on for another 10+ years. Our market analysis shows that it won’t be good for anyone if he goes around again and the southerners dominate for another decade.
“Head office has clearly lost control of the competition when the city of aerial ping-pongers has made it to ten NRL grand finals in 20 years, including four of the past five! The AFL would never allow the Swans or the Giants to make that many deciders in a million years. The average gum-sucker doesn’t even know the difference between league and rah-rah.
“It’s become an embarrassment for NSW and Queensland, and we need to take action if fans of any other club are to have any self-respect.”
It’s understood the Panthers were initially disappointed at the NRL’s request, but eventually agreed to “take one for the team” to enable a future where someone other than Melbourne are regularly good at rugby league. In a rare case of altruism in rugby league, the Penrith management were apparently also moved by the plight of Harry Grant and Brandon “the hectic cheese” Smith, who have been in career limbo all year pending Smith’s decision.
The accidental news release was only live on the Telegraph website for 20 minutes, and had been removed by Friday midday. However, it was evidently too late once sports betting agencies suddenly shortened the odds of a Melbourne victory from $1.70 to nil.
When interviewed, ARL Commission chairman Peter V’landys immediately moved into damage control, saying:
“I’d like to respectfully ask members of the public that may have seen the Telegraph’s mention of Sunday’s rugba leeg grand final result to act as if they had never read the report. We’ve all had situations where we’ve heard something that we wish we hadn’t.
“So I’d encourage everyone to say to themselves, ‘I don’t need to know about that,’ and then just keep walking as if nothing had been disclosed. It’s not too hard if you try, I mean just ask NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian.”
The unfortunate revelation has also taken the anticipation out of Smith’s announcement as to his playing future. It is understood the Storm captain was considering a ‘gender reveal’-style balloon ceremony after the match to announce his decision, following the warm public reception to Darius Boyd’s baby gender announcement. However, the air has now literally gone out of that plan.
As to what Smith will do in retirement, the NRL is reportedly keen to lure the Melbourne captain into a post-playing career as referees boss, a role he has performed informally for many years.
Kman
Roar Rookie
Thank you MCPC, I've never scored an 11/10 so this one is going straight to the pool room :silly: Thanks for reading and commenting!
MCPC
Roar Rookie
11/10 & Three Thumbs UP!!! :happy:
Kman
Roar Rookie
Thank you 3rd Umpire, I only feel confident once the 3rd Umpire has reviewed :silly:
King in the north
Roar Rookie
Great work! Worthy of The Onion. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Kman
Roar Rookie
Thanks for those very generous words Lisa Maree! Knowing this piece gave someone a smile or a laugh makes me very glad! We could all use one in these times!!
Heyou
Roar Rookie
A beautifully satirical, comedic, inspired piece of writing. I almost fell off the chair laughing at one point. A touch of premonition rolled around my head, based on premeditation? malice aforethought? No...just a little too close to the bone perhaps? Yep it’s your fault- it all sounded too...authentic with you letting the cat out of the bag so to speak. Loved this. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Kman
Roar Rookie
+1 Spot on matth, you clearly know that equation :laughing:
matth
Roar Guru
Yes but News Ltd were swayed by the chance to stick it to ex-Panther Gus Gould, who was a long time Fairfax columnist. So it’s a win for everybody.
Kman
Roar Rookie
Haha, thanks John! Good questions: 1) I'd still watch the game as sometimes its good to watch a movie even when you know the ending, to see how it gets there. I believe there will be a great "Dust-up" at the 67th minute :laughing: 2) Yes, they still haven't fixed the production error, so stay tuned: you might even be able to get some results from Flemington before the race :laughing; 3) Always gamble responsibly. Sigh - Fine Cotton - I remember that one, mid 1980s, great days when the Eels were actually winning GFs :stoked:
Kman
Roar Rookie
Then your comment means all the more to me, Joshua! Many thanks indeed, including for reading an article outside your main interests :thumbup:
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
Great article. Should I still watch the game if I know the result? Did Rothfield blame it on another production error? Lastly should I have a bet on Pick The Score? After alI I followed the money trail at my local TAB and backed Fine Cotton.
Joshua Kerr
Roar Guru
No worries! My sixth form English teacher told us that humour was hardest to write (and she was bang on there!) so to see such a top class work as this deserves all the applause. I'm not that into rugby league but felt that I should commend your article :thumbup: .
Dexter The Hamster
Roar Rookie
"Just ask Gladys". Comedy gold there Kman.
Kman
Roar Rookie
Sheek thank you for reading! As one of the voices on the Roar that I most respect, I am stoked that you read my article and commented :stoked: PS Yes, I understand Smith will kick the winning field goal as the full time siren is ringing, leading to a unanimous decision to award him the Clive Churchill medal :laughing:
Kman
Roar Rookie
Thank you very much for reading it, Joshua! I thought Gladys deserved a cameo :laughing:
sheek
Roar Guru
Kman, Very clever. I'll take 19-18 win to Storm. Did Smith himself kick the winning field goal? Sorry, does Smith kick the winning field goal?
Joshua Kerr
Roar Guru
Brilliant satirical work Kman. Especially loved the reference to Gladys Berejiklian :laughing:
Nick
Roar Guru
Yes, but think about how much more money you can make if you gamble irresponsibly!
Kman
Roar Rookie
Thanks for reading Spruce Moose! :thumbup:
Kman
Roar Rookie
Remember, War Horse, always gamble responsibly :stoked: