Don’t believe the hype about Queensland’s famed fighting spirit. There’s no mythical power or paranormal energy in the Maroons jersey – they just sometimes try really, really hard.
Queensland’s biological incapacity to misunderstand Origin is under question following a disastrous Game 2 defeat, with scepticism re-emerging towards their otherworldly dedication, mateship, and all the other qualities that make us New South Welshmen crook.
And in good news, I can confirm it is all bunkum.
In fact, most of Queensland’s iconic gutsy moments were created from luck, hyperbole, or most satisfyingly, the Blues’ ineptitude.
Allan Langer’s comeback
Hardly the logistical masterstroke everyone makes it out to be. It was pre-border restrictions, and Queensland probably just lured him with fullback money. And besides, he wasn’t even the best player on the field that night because Channel Nine gave the man of the match award to Daly Cherry-Evans.
Mark Coyne’s miracle try
C’mon everyone. It was the end of the game. The Blues were tired. And besides, they would’ve had it easily sewn up if Gerard Sutton correctly blew full time after 79-and-a-half minutes.
Fatty Vautin’s Neville Nobodies win 3-0
Not a thing. This team was actually chock full of first graders, some even from rugby league.
Eight-in-a-row
Contrarily, involved a side not full of first graders.
Johnathon Thurston heroically celebrates in wheelchair
More health and safety bureaucracy gone mad. Thurston was only in the chair because he lost use of his leg due to a suspected ACL.
So why all the fanfare? He’s got two of them, so he should’ve got on with it. You wouldn’t hear Shaun Timmins complaining. Although that could be due to the sound of grinding calcium.
Darren Lockyer, Cameron Smith and Matt Scott speak to Johnathan Thurston (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)
Wally Lewis’ 1989 Game 2 masterclass
Apparently this was ‘incredible’ because Lewis single-handedly carried the depleted Maroons to victory after the side endured another shocking spate of embellished injuries.
But just because a side is down to 12 men and in drastic need of reinforcements and magic, it shouldn’t qualify as folklore simply because the coach failed to pick Kurt Capewell.
Artie Beetson belting Mick Cronin
This wasn’t a watershed act to rally a state in to the unending grip of a 40 year grudge. It was because Crow allegedly replaced Artie’s phone on the charger with his own when the big fella’s was only at 67 per cent. Should’ve hit him twice as hard, if anything.
Other miscellaneous inexplicable comebacks from the dead
Every incredible Queensland rebound from the grave is as boringly predictable as the last. That’s because NSW is contractually obligated to relinquish any comfortable and unassailable lead once Phil Gould claims the Maroons are “out on their feet.”
Gorden Tallis rag-dolling Brett Hodgson
“Enraged mega-human flings collectible action figure like a shopping bag full of cats.” Hodgson weighs about 40 kg, and that’s holding a medicine ball. Move on.
Wally’s retirement
Lewis – the Maroons icon and Nine news reader – waited until moments before kick-off in the 1991 decider before announcing his retirement to inspire his teammates to a stirring victory. Proves Channel Nine will do anything for ratings.
Billy Moore’s ‘Queenslander’
Hearing a Northerner shrieking his mailing address as he crosses a white line is nothing extraordinary in the time of border checkpoints. And besides, it wasn’t even an impulsive display of state passion, as the call was originally coined years earlier by Paul Vautin.
I even pressure-tested its efficacy while under the extreme strain of a driving test, and the only thing it spurred me to try was a head wobble and different mini skirt.
Kman
Roar Rookie
How do you do it, Dane? Another classic! Now I'm salivating for Wednesday night to see more Queensland myths created!! :laughing:
Tim Buck 3
Roar Rookie
Cronin was very strong from lifting kegs of beer in his Gerringong pub. He was a centre and the Parramatta kicker. He missed a sideline conversion to win the 1977 grand final against the winner of the grand final replay, St.George.
Rob
Guest
Dane, sorry mate l usually find your articles hugely amusing but this one just seemed a little haphazard from the usual quality stuff you are so good at writing. Seriously Arthur’s mobile phone? If any tosser was dumb enough to touch or steal anything of Arthur’s it would have been Tommy “teacup”Rednekiss. Arthur was a distinguished an Honourable Queenslander so belting teacup would be like punt kicking a yapping toothless chihuahua. Belting a little fella also is something only a NSW player would stoop too. It would brought embarrassment and shame on the entire Regal State of Queensland. Why Cronin? Cronin was a 6ft loafer from the bush, drank tea, owned a pub? played in the backs his whole life and was hailed a point scoring machine. In full flight Cronin made Capewell look like Usan Bolt. Hailed a footballing Super star south of the boarder because he hung around good footballers including old Arty himself. He was picked in the team? Well he owns a pub and can pour beer der. He was given the goal kicking duties so he could actually feel like he contributed to the team. Mick Cronin was a lovely big gentle bloke but seriously, bludging on our team mates every week, getting towelled up by a chubby 20 year old rookie? He deserved an upper cut. Arthur 40 had just sorted out Wynn for embarrassing himself. All Arty could smell was meat pies, hotdogs, chips and XXXX and 100 thousand QLDers chanting out to him to come and have a feed and a beer. Just being on the field showed his young teammates how mentally tough he was. Maybe he was feeling sorry for the Crow and just wanted to put him out of his misery? I think you’re next article you could do some good stuff referring to the famous “TBA” acronym. “The Barry Analyse” There’s some quality stuff there.
Ad-O
Guest
We need blasphemy laws in this country...
R N
Roar Rookie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPtFPtLBm1s An audio representation of my thoughts…
R N
Roar Rookie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRiJg6kD96I A visual representation of what I think about this “opinion” article! How dare you sir!
Nat
Roar Rookie
:laughing: :laughing:
Emcie
Roar Guru
I think one of the biggest telling points is that the best selections and tactics he gets praised for always come after getting absolutely pasted for horendous selections and tactics when left to his own devices. Unless someone else comes up with a great game plan for him for the first game *cough* Sterlo *cough*, in which case it stays exactly the same for then next two no matter how the opposition adapts to it.
Graham White
Guest
In every Queenslanders draw there is a bunch of newspaper articles about how NSW clubs were allowed pokie machines in the 70s just in case we ever make the mistake of thinking NSW people are people worthy of respect. I still hold it as a failure of the UN that NSW were not sanctioned for this despicable behaviour
fr4d
Guest
The tinfoil hat brigade may point out that the majority of Freddie's income is paid by Channel 9
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
Not including the New South Welshmen wearing maroon.
mushi
Roar Guru
Losing with this talent gap is hilarious. If you did an auction of each player head to head you'd pay more, on form, for Munster and Papali. Everyone else is a wide gap. Heck Wighton and Tedesco would probably cover the bids for 1-5 on the qld team and perhaps a bench player.
mushi
Roar Guru
If I had king I'd name a stuffed toy Wayne to give him a chance to @#$% Bennett over and return the favour
Tony
Roar Guru
:shocked:
Big Daddy
Guest
Surely BUCK gets a mention.
Paul
Roar Guru
NOOOOOOO!!!!!! :crying: :crying:
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
I never ask people which way they vote however I’m guessing you would have selected the same option as I would if I was still living there; welcome him with a red carpet when he disembarks, have a brass band perform followed by a ticker tape parade all the way to his hotel. It’s the least The Great One deserves. You could offer to carry his bags.
andrew
Roar Rookie
Here's hoping.
JVGO
Guest
What about Robbie Farah's knee....it was playing for QLD that night right?
Paul D
Roar Rookie
There's the Matt Bowen intercept try - like the Mark Coyne try, it's conveniently forgotten by we Queenslanders after winning game one we got flogged in the next two