Retribution is in the air after England’s abject surrender of the Ashes on just the 12th day of the series. The predictable British press savaging was … predictable.
Their second innings rout of 68 was England’s lowest in Australia for 117 years since March 1904, when they were dismissed for 61, also at Melbourne.
Former England captain Michael Vaughan was scathing of England players leaving Joe Root to face the music alone on the field for the post-match formalities.
“What I didn’t like, when Joe Root was doing the press and doing the interview with Gilly, and I didn’t see any other England players out there. I didn’t like that,” Vaughan told Fox Cricket.
“I didn’t like the fact that the England players – they went straight down into the dressing room. They’re embarrassed.
“And of course you’re embarrassed. You’ve just performed poorly, you’ve just been bowled out for 68. Show face, get on the pitch, support your captain.
“The captain’s going to answer all the questions now, he has done. Well, his team have got to be right beside him even in the tough times.”
(Photo by Darrian Traynor – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)
“England saved their worst until last,” seethed Simon Wilde in The Times.
“There was no late fight-back, no pride-induced flurry of runs. They surrendered this Ashes series with barely a whimper on the 12th day of action: a dozen of the dirtiest days of cricket produced by any England team on a major tour.
“The result condemned Joe Root to his third unsuccessful Ashes campaign.
“He has now lost seven Tests in Australia, more than any England captain in history, and the result took England’s loss tally in 2021 to nine, the most for any year. Now Root and head coach Chris Silverwood must face the consequences.”
Former England fast bowler Steve Harmison said there was going to be a “big inquest” on England’s shattering series defeat.
“They [Australia] bowled brilliantly, but that’s embarrassing, I’m sorry. No fight, there was nothing there,” Harmison told BT Sport.
“You can say Australia have bowled well, which they have done. But to lose by an innings when a team only scores 267 runs, that tells you everything.
“There is going to be a big inquest. There’s gonna be a lot of things blamed, people’s careers on the line, but first you marvel at Australia.”
The Daily Mail’s Lawrence Booth rolled out the stats on an ignominous day for English cricket.
“This was England’s ninth Test defeat in 2021 – their most in a calendar. They have now lost 12 of their last 13 Tests in Australia since winning 3-1 in 2010-11,” Booth noted.
“England equalled their own world record for the most Test ducks in a calendar year – 54 back in 1998. Twenty different players have contributed to the haul, led by Rory Burns’s six and Ollie Robinson’s five.
“Their latest surrender included England’s 53rd and 54th Test ducks of 2021, equalling their own world record,. They’re a laughing stock now and, assuming no more complications with COVID, there are still two Tests to come.
“This could get even messier, and it seems inconceivable now that heads will not roll once this fiasco of a tour is finally put out of its misery.”
The Telegraph’s Nick Hoult said England’s last remaining hope of prolonging the resistance ended with the dismissal of skipper Joe Root, who finished the year with 1,708 Test runs at 61 – just two short of Viv Richards’s 1976 aggregate for West Indies with Pakistan’s Mohammad Yousuf on top with 1,788 in 2006.
“It was all but over for England when Joe Root, their last remaining hope, edged Scott Boland to slip an hour after the restart and slowly dragged himself off the vast MCG arena knowing his dream of leading England to an Ashes series victory was over,” Hoult wrote.
“England never recovered from an electrifying final hour on the second day when they lost four wickets to some intimidating, brutal fast bowling.
“There was no respite when play resumed with the heart ripped out of the remaining batting with Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow and Root all gone within 13 overs.”
“There are dream Test debuts and then there is the match that Scott Boland just experienced,” Martin said.
“The 32-year-old was handed his Baggy Green cap on Boxing Day and just three days later ripped through England with a quite remarkable six-wicket haul that saw Australia retain the Ashes at the earliest opportunity.
“The coup de grâce came at 11.49am on the third morning, less than half way through the scheduled series, when Cameron Green pegged back Jimmy Anderson’s off-stump to secure an unassailable 3-0 lead.
“England were all out for a meagre 68 in just 27.4 overs, having somehow conspired to lose by an innings and 14 runs in a match where their opponents had stuck just 267 on the board.
“As Australia’s players managed to catch up with Green’s haring sprint of celebration English cricket was in a state of humiliation.”
The BBC’s Amy Lofthouse lambasted the English performance.
“Even by the low standards England have shown on this tour, this was an abysmal performance,” she said.
“After being blown away on the evening of the second day, England were always facing a tough task even to make Australia bat again. But no-one could have seen this capitulation coming.
“England arrived in Australia short of match practice but that is no excuse. They, simply, have not been good enough with the bat.
“Root, as he has done all year, has carried England. Relying on one man, who is also captain, was never going to be enough.”
Englishbob
Guest
How many instances of poor losers can you point too? Most England fans knew we were losing this badly coming in, the horror is at England's performance not at any perceived Australian actions. Australia are a very good team, deserved winners and worth every bit of of the margins they've won by. Doesn't hurt me to give credit where due, the pain is inflicted by England's performances. Post Scriptum, Australia are an infinitely more likeable team to this neutral with Cummins in charge, Paine wasn't worth his place and they're a stronger team without him
Chris Hicks
Guest
I feel a little sorry for them, normally they play a couple of State games to get used to the conditions but that didn't happen this time. Don't forget also that India kicked our arses earlier in the year so this is only covering up just how badly we have been going there's a fair bit wrong with us as well.
Stuart B
Roar Rookie
I do think it's a shame, though. IMO Test cricket is sport and T20/ODIs are "content": endless interchangeable hours of cheap TV, easy to watch, instantly forgotten.
Stuart B
Roar Rookie
I think you're right, Twizz: most of the audience will go where the wins are till the wins dry up and they watch something else. The die-hard Test-loving generations will stick with their dwindling sport then die and not be replaced.
Short Arm
Roar Rookie
Just feel sorry for Root, copping all the flak when he hasn't got any decent batsmen beside him.
Curmudgeon1961
Roar Rookie
Illingworth Brearley too
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
Physically. While it was designed for Braddles, it fell on Woodfull, Fingleton, Ponsford, Richardson, McCabe and O'Brien to take the brunt of it as they employed it against everyone. My second sentence should have read "They probably NEEDED an elite honesty team talk". In order to ensure they were all on the same page regarding taking Larwood and Voce on. And staying in.
English twizz
Guest
More important question does the average fan in england really care if the white ball teams keep winning that the test side is not very good most people i know just watch white ball cricket now
Just Nuisance
Roar Rookie
As a neutral I was totally impressed with Australia .. I doubt on this form , their aggressive approach and on home territory that any team in the World would have stopped them. Certainly not an England team with so many clear and obvious weaknesses .. So instead of flogging their own players , the English media need to give more credit to the opposition for massively outplaying them ..its simple ..just do it....They should rather be asking uncomfortable but necessary questions ..For starters why does the country with the 2 nd most registered players and money next to India find it so hard to produce quality quicks to challenge Broad and Anderson. Nobody is forcing their way into the side....Could it be that conditions for years now in England have discouraged them..Could it be that pitches have become so batsman friendly as administrators and marketers mistakenly think the modern day fan only wants 4s and 6s and trillions of runs ? So quicks are unable to thrive and technically batsmen are not able to handle hostile stuff on pacy wickets..Their technique hasnt been forged in battle. ..England's openers are a real example. Technically Burns is , well ...lets just say not able to see off a new ball at Test level..Here in South Africa we cannot produce spinners for decades now.. ..why ? Simple really , our conditions and pitches discourage them .Kids don't have heroes spinning the ball for the country .... All their idols are quicks. So guess who they try emulate...Could it be a coincidence that Malan , England's best batsman so far this series , learnt his cricket in South Africa and not in England ..You decide.
Once Upon a Time on the Roar
Roar Guru
How did Bradman's comrades suffer?
Once Upon a Time on the Roar
Roar Guru
I think Khan in Pakistan, Afghanistan and to a lesser extent India is some sort of aristocratic title, similar to earl, baron or viscount in England. However, khan originally was the title for the head of government at provincial or regional level during the flourishing Muslim civilisations that followed the death of the Prophet Muhammad SAW, civilisations that spread across not only the Middle East but also Persia and North Africa from the mid-7th Century until after the onset of the renaissance epoch in Europe. ____ Not sure what is going on with Mooen Ali and his brothers and cousins but it would be most unusual for a Muslim family anywhere to change their entire clan name to such a name. Ali was the young cousin of Muhammad, and along with Muhammad’s wife Khadidja and best friend Abu Bakr, was one of the first three to embrace Islam after Muhammad had his first revelations in the cave on top of Jabal Nur. Ali and the aforementioned Abu Bakr, along with Imran, the Islamic name for Mary’s father, are the three most revered men in Islam not considered to be prophets. _____ Lots of Muslim parents name their sons after prophets or the aforementioned Ali, Abu Bakr and Imran. Waqar Younis, for example, Waqar means ‘dignified’, while Younis is the Islamic name for the prophet Jonah (the one swallowed by the whale). When Yousaf Yohanna became a Muslim, he took the names of two prophets, Mohammad, and Yusuf, which is the Islamic name for Joesph, Abraham’s great grandson, the one sold into slavery by his brothers. _____ While Muslims anywhere in the world have clan or family names, in the majority of societies they are not used in their public everyday name. One exception is the Javanese, who account for about 1/3 of the Indonesian population. Another exception, interestingly, is ‘Khawaja’. Khawaja is a large clan in the Pakistan Punjab province, which encompasses Rawalpindi and the national capital Islamabad. I know this because there is a player called Akheel Khawaja in one of the teams that I umpire quite a lot and he told me this when I asked him out of curiosity.
ColinT
Roar Rookie
England supporters need to be more gracious in defeat. Follow the example of Australians, always humble in victory and gracious in defeat. The hyperbole directed at the english team is way over the top. The inconvenient truth is that they were just beaten by a far better team. There is no shame in being thrashed by Australia, it is a regular occurrence. Harmiston and Vaughan have made some good points. England do rely upon the Duke ball and pitches deliberately prepared for seaming conditions to give a hometown advantage against touring sides. The consequence of this is that England perform badly when visiting other countries. They would be better off using the kookaburra ball and preparing flatter bouncier wickets for county games. Batsmen would then have to learn the art of batting patiently, and fast bowlers who can consistently target the top of off stump would receive some encouragement.
DTM
Roar Rookie
I wonder what effect of all this will be on Joe Root. He turns 31 tomorrow so probably has maybe 5-6 years of test cricket ahead of him. There is no doubt he is a fine batsman. He currently has about 9,500 runs from 112 test matches and is 14th on the list of test runs. If he plays for another 5 years and can maintain his run scoring ability, he should pass Ponting (who has 13,378 test runs) and be only behind Tendulkar. Since 2013, he has averaged 12 tests per year and about 85 runs per test (so about 1,000 runs per year). He will not be remembered as a great captain but he will be recognised as a great batsman.
Stuart B
Roar Rookie
I agree with Vaughan's comment that it was poor of the other England players to leave the field for Root's post-match "sh*t sandwich taste test" interview. (Surely they weren't told by team management to do this.) All you can do in the dressing room is feel sorry for yourself, and the memory of that will fade pretty fast. Any England player who wants to try to take back the Ashes in two or four years time should be out on the field: 1. Finding out, in front of an ecstatic opposition crowd, how awful it feels to lose a series so quickly and comprehensively. 2. Seeing in your opponents' body language how great it would feel to win or retain the Ashes. 3. Wondering if their preparation, attitude and focus were adequate this time and what they might do differently if given another chance next time. Not incidentally they should be out there supporting their skipper as a team.
Micko
Roar Rookie
The problem is they've made it about kids & families during school holidays attending though.
Cadfael
Roar Guru
BBL is primarily a tv sport. That's where the money comes in from advertisers. Perhaps move BBL to the start or end of the season.
Pope Paul VII
Roar Rookie
Can't disagree Dave. Good luck is the most underrated talent.
Ace
Roar Rookie
And Robinson could be better if gets fitter and thereby sustain a good spell of overs
Big Daddy
Roar Rookie
:happy: You mean Kangaroo Edward .
Big Daddy
Roar Rookie
Say no more . What's happened since they got rid of Bayliss . It seems to all have gone downhill . What is weird our (CA) CEO is now a pom . Go figure .