BRETT GEEVES: Round 5 was a s--t show and ludicrous spate of 50m penalties threatens to derail AFL season

It is a shame that the hottest topic at the completion of round 5, is again, the umpiring.

Unfortunately, the current inconsistencies plaguing the in-game management of umpire dissent are the worst aspect of the game – far worse even than North Melbourne, who are a certainty for a priority pick, and Port Adelaide, who seemed to have forgotten they’re an AFL team.

Do you remember my concept for a weekly AFL game show? You are set a Squid Game-inspired task should you not correctly select, throughout the duration of the round, which rule the umpires are having a particular focus on without the AFL communicating it to the players, coaches, and fans.

For those still alive in round 5, it was umpire dissent, with a deceptive angle on the raising of arms as a red flag of rage.

If you look at the footage below, however, you will find that on all but one occasion, the opening/raising of arms was performed in a non-aggressive act of frustration to sit alongside a dialogue with the umpire, which isn’t really what this whole push towards umpire harmony and respect was created for. A push, I might add, that is well supported.

It was implemented to stop the rage. The swearing. The overt displays of tantrum level, mouth guard removing, spit flying, toys out of the pram, fence jumping rage that we’ve seen from years past, but not in the last few weeks, which is what makes the tightening of the umpire abuse rules, NOW, even more confusing.

See Harris Andrews – paid a 50m penalty for using non-threatening body language.

“Arms out is 50, MATE” says umpire Andrew Stephens to Harrison Andrews.

As an aside, the use of MATE in the context above is as condescending as it is inappropriate from an official of the game. If you want respect from the players, call them by name.

The above is code for – “I have more power than you, f***er.”

Now see George Hewitt – not a 50m penalty for moving angrily in the direction of the umpire like an Eagle in full flight. And yes, they are the anger veins popping out of his neck.

Now see Hawthorn players – 50m for pointing at the replay screen on the scoreboard as a way of assisting their verbal dialogue, with the non-officiating umpire, surrounding the legitimacy of a nightmare call that went against their team.

Now see, in your mind, any player appealing for a deliberate out of bounds call.

They line up in appeal like Glenn McGrath bowling back-to-back reverse swinging pad thumpers to Inzamam-Ul-Haq in Pakistan.

Round 5 was a mess.

I’m not talking your new cute puppy cocking his cute little leg for a cutesy pee-pee on your kitchen tiles type of mess, I’m thinking slinging adult faeces all over your lounge room walls level of mess.

And it could completely derail the season unless the AFL have clear and concise future interpretations delivered to the umpiring ranks, clubs, coaches, players, and then the media for fan benefit, by the beginning of the next round.

An apology wouldn’t hurt either, because as a fan, this round was impossible to watch.

The game can’t be adjudicated in this way.

If “arms out is 50, MATE” has come by way of chief suit wearer, Brad Scott, or some other over-paid administrator who no doubt cashes in on the fact you can take 15 x 15 minute breaks if you are a smoker, but you can’t take two coffee breaks as a non-smoker, delivering a mandate to the umpires that they needed to ramp up the level of extreme control over player behaviours, in particular arm raising, but hasn’t told the players, coaches, or clubs that a significant shift was coming, then I’ll need to trademark my game show concept.

More importantly, and most dangerous to the fabric of the game, we have a genuine problem with the way the game is being administered.

Someone should be sacked for that.

The easiest part of Brad Scott’s job is communicating the key decisions. It is one email, using the bcc function to protect individual privacy, whilst not using exclamation marks or other accepted shorthand text like emojis. If he, or his administrative assistant, aren’t up to it, then the job is not for him.

As we’ve seen from round 5, the damage of poor communication processes can be profound. The AFL has lost the entire fan base and all the game’s greats who make commentators and social media users.

I don’t believe this is a couple of rogue umpires who have taken ownership of enforcing stricter interpretation to save the level of respect the broader umpiring fraternity receives in the game via their own whistles and the wearing of a cape. If I’m wrong, their individual psychological profiles read: insecure, narcissistic traits of power, control, and righteousness. Bed wetter.

It is more likely that the AFL will say the other umpires – those who didn’t call the penalties on players who raised their arms – were wrong, and that they will be following through with a strictness on the players that removes the emotion, the character, and the human element to what is special about Aussie Rules.

The passion.

The George Hewett arm raising? That was aggressive, demonstrative, and 50m. No problem there. Stamp it.

But what we saw from Andrews, and Jack Gunston/Tom Mitchell, needs to be embraced alongside a healthy and respectful dialogue between umpires and players. If the strictness of arm raising becomes a legitimate ruling, then I fear the game is gone, and with it, will be the fans.

Concerningly, I don’t think the AFL are giving thought to the impact a set of stricter umpire dissent/abuse/respect rules will have on the relationship between umpires and fans. Think they’re a target now? Wait until an act of arm raising in a non-threatening manner decides a game. A final?

Taking it too far is counterintuitive to the overarching goal of umpire respect.

Whilst round 4 was known for the moment that the umpire-love-in stopped for the umpires, courtesy of a Nick Riewoldt rocket, round 5 will be known as the moment we saw why.

The AFL have dropped the ball. They now need to explain why round 5 was the time for stricter interpretations and improve their own communication processes to ensure the players, coaches, clubs, and fans are no longer part of my trademarked weekly game show: MY SHIT RULES, hosted by Brad Scott.