Last week, just like so many other members of the rugby league family, my heart felt heavy with the news of the tragic and sudden passing of Paul Green.
I did not know him, but the news still weighs upon me. He was so young. He had a beautiful family. He had the respect and love of so many. He will always be remembered as a hero by the people of North Queensland for that glorious premiership in 2015.
Despite that, he still died by suicide. Since his death, there have been ample reminders of the importance of mental health.
We have been encouraged to continue to reach out to our mates, we have been reminded it ‘ain’t weak to speak’ and many have taken the opportunity to hug their loved ones a little bit closer and tell them how loved and valued they are.
It’s also clear there are many who want to do more.
Some have floated the idea of a ‘mental health round’ in the NRL. This would complement the work the NRL has been doing for years through its ‘State of Mind’ campaign which typically takes centre stage during State of Origin and promotes the fact that, just like an offload can change a game of rugby league, a conversation change a day or even a life when it comes to mental health.
In regard to a mental health round, I wonder whether this is enough and whether it will have the impact desired, particularly when you consider the broader context in which rugby league (and sport more generally) exists in.
Is more awareness the answer?
It’s not enough to talk about mental health when tragedy occurs. We need to be talking about it every single day and exhibiting behaviours which support positive mental health.
Just yesterday, Brisbane Broncos NRLW player Julia Robinson shared a photograph of herself on Instagram.
In that photo she is at training, wearing a Broncos singlet and biceps bulging. When I see an image like that, I think of a strong and confident woman who is being given the change to play the sport she loves at an elite level.
But not everyone saw it that way. Robinson shared some comments in response to this photo from social media – ‘he’s gonna be a good player’, ‘he’s a rig’ and ‘yuck, looks like a man trapped in a woman’s body’.
These are hurtful and harmful behaviours and demonstrate the underlying sexism which still exists in sport.
But Robinson is not the only player who has been targeted, whether on social media or elsewhere.
Earlier this year, some Parramatta Eels “fans” decided to boo Jake Arthur.
Mitchell Moses and his family received death threats from teenage boys.
(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
Ashley Klein has also received death threats following the controversial ending to the match between the Wests Tigers and the North Queensland Cowboys.
Last year, Josh Morris was threatened by a man online because he ‘ruined’ the fan’s multi.
Some may suggest these behaviours only happen in the minority. Irrespective of that, this behaviour does not promote or support positive mental health.
What other bigger system pieces are at play that may also contribute?
Australians love a punt. I have absolutely no problem with people who decide to punt. But what is the impact of the prevalence of gambling advertising in the media we consume pre-game, during and post-game or on jerseys and in naming rights of stadiums?
Whichever way you spin it, gambling can lead to financial hardship, and no doubt leads some people to act out, targeting players with abuse on social media.
Then there’s the media itself and the scrutiny that people in the rugby league family are subjected to.
The pressure we place on referees when the media decide after every weekend that there was at least one controversial call which ‘cost’ a team a game.
The politics in the media where a coach can call a player a ‘weak-gutted dog’ (problematic in itself) and then still be defended, players criticised for the honouring of their heritage through choice of team and even the criticisms faced by players when standing up for their beliefs, whether it be a decision not to sing the National Anthem or speaking out following racist abuse.
We cannot have our cake and eat it too. A ‘mental health’ round means nothing if we don’t push ourselves to be better and push our game to be better too.
We all have a role to play here in being kinder to each other.
As fans, we absolutely decide how we interact with other members of the rugby league family – we choose our words and our behaviour.
(Photo by Jono Searle/Getty Images)
But we have far more influence than that. We decide what the media writes with our clicks. If you are tired of toxic coverage or concerned about the mental health and wellbeing of our athletes, coaches, administrators and officials, stop clicking.
The death of Paul Green was an absolute tragedy. As a game, I do not want to have to see another team or family lose someone they care deeply about.
But equally as important is ensuring we as a game and a fan base are contributing to an environment where our players can have positive mental health.
The Roar encourages all readers who may be suffering from mental illness to seek support from organisations such as Lifeline, Beyond Blue, and Headspace.
captainpale
Roar Rookie
I have had the same experience. I think sometimes, and i know for myself this is true, knowing that someone is willing to listen without judgement can be quite comforting. Hearing other people's problems has often helped with my own because I think hey damn I have had that same issue, its not just me suffering with that. The overwhelming sense of being alone is what leads to so many deaths and if we can all make at least one person realise that they are not alone then we are one step closer to eliminating this tragedy of suicide.
Choppy Zezers
Roar Rookie
Cheers Captain. I've tried it a few times and when I ask the first time it's often "I'm good" or "Yeah okay". When I've asked a 2nd time, more than once I've seen tears well up. Most of the time I never really said much, I kinda just sat there and let them talk.
captainpale
Roar Rookie
Well said Choppy, too often we accept an answer that is clearly not true rather than finding out how people really feel.
Choppy Zezers
Roar Rookie
I reckon it probably starts checking in with the people we are close with. Like asking how they are going and when they say, "Yeah nah not bad" then ask "And now how are you really going?" And if they are struggling, be well stubborn and go spend time with them. Remind them they are bloody important. If we all chip in with our fam and mates regularly, and we hear good news stories about it, then it might seem more achievable.
Poss
Roar Rookie
No Flancrest I don't support homophobia, I said I respect their stand on not wanting to wear the jersey its their choice (on religious grounds) but no it's not how I feel at all.."So basically" don't assume what people think!!! Geeez!
Flancrest enterprises
Guest
Interesting. You criticise them for being selective on their use of religious beliefs, but you yourself are selective in when you choose to support them. So, basically you say that you won't support violence, but you'll support rampant homophobia. Ok....
Rob
Guest
How many people would hand you a drink or ask you to go out to cheer you up? Then how many would give you a weird look if you declined? How many would make a joke about perhaps thinking or visiting a psychologist? That’s a big part of the problem. Expectations placed on many people today are far greater than in years past IMO. If you’re not somebody you’re nothing and the desire to be somebody is how your measured. You go to a school graduation and the song they are playing is “Hall of Fame”? What happens when the reality comes for so many I wonder.
Nat
Roar Guru
Hear hear Muck. I went to a funeral for a 22yo yesterday making it the 5th u25yo suicide victim in my small circle in my lifetime. The stats are incredible. Where i think things can change is making these stats widely known. Greeny’s suicide became known and we talk about it and that’s great. 99.9% of those don’t make the news and those that do are not allowed to say the word suicide - like it is some dirty secret. They will only ever publish a Lifeline number at the bottom. Too many men, women and kids still think it is just them going through these issues. If the real stats were publicly wide known we would have far more then just ribbon days. There would be free counselling services on every other corner and proper control around social media sites that does not allow for abuse via anonymity.
Poss
Roar Rookie
EagleWal they are pretty selective where they use their religious beliefs when they openly support someone that has been in the news that is going through the courts,fair enough they are friends but its not the platform to be showing support over such a serious charge..I respected their stand on the jersey saga but this is not a good look for them or the club..
JennyFromPenny
Guest
Told by coach you are a weak individual. Days later mental health, many still regard a sign of weakness, claims a former coach. One can only hope, these weren't interrelated events. Yes we could make another warm and fuzzy round of footy, but nothing is really changing anytime soon, so long as society requires to judge others as inferior. That's where things need to change.
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
I don't know if bile on social media contributed to Paul Green's mental state, but all of us need to stop with the relentless criticism of players and officials on this site and in general. Player X is lazy? Maybe they're injured or dealing with off-field issues. Official Y got a call wrong? It turns out Official Y is human, and is therefore prone to making mistakes. They're not doing it on purpose. This is sport. It's meant to be enjoyable. We need to be better.
Rellum
Roar Guru
Here is a thought, instead of increasing the salary cap, use some or all of that money to build a real support network and system to help and monitor and treat if needed all ex NRL and NRLW staff after they retire. Post retirement depression is a known and significant issue and the NRL could lead the way in the handling of that plus CET as well.
Tez
Roar Rookie
Where has this 'mental health round' thought come from? Yep, Paul Green's passing is a tragedy but he has been out of mainstream NRL for a couple of years. Just maybe the NRL could do a veterans mental health day.
captainpale
Roar Rookie
Sadly there is no simple answer to this. As individuals it is about being more caring and aware of the people around us, which is not always easy when we are all dealing with our own struggles on a daily basis. As a society it would be a good start if people were not marginalised, and i dont just mean the standard prejudcies around race, gender etc. People who are struggling mentally or emotionally are generally treated as if they had a disease, worse because people with diseases receive sympathy, those who could be helped just with a little kindness and empathy are often ignored until it is too late.
Choppy Zezers
Roar Rookie
Yeah I agree, Ben. So I guess the question is: how do we care enough to actually do something meaningful?
Worlds Biggest
Guest
Gut wrenching reading and thinking about it still. Paul Green was such an impressive guy the way he conducted himself as a player and coach. He had so much more to give but far more importantly, as a husband and father. Thoughts and prayers go out to his family.
EagleWal
Roar Rookie
If they had said nothing and worn the jersey no one would be any the wiser. Was only news as they said no thanks.
EagleWal
Roar Rookie
Not wearing the jersey does not make them a bigot, means they chose not to promote it. Huge difference.
Ben Pobjie
Expert
Personally I think a mental health round would be almost insulting - people with mental health problems have had “awareness” poured over them by the gallon for years. Awareness is not the cure. While people only care enough to spread awareness, the bodies will keep piling up.
mushi
Roar Guru
Well they receive less now