Every club has them. Champion blokes who embody everything that’s good through their character on and off the field. The jolly good chaps who you’d follow into battle. The “heart and soul of the club”.
Every club also has the other extreme. The ones opposition fans, and sometimes home fans, just can’t stand. The ones the coach invariably says “we love what he brings” while supporters mumble “well, you need a bit of mongrel in the team”.
But which is better? Let’s grab a hero and a villain from each club, build a 17 and find out.
Brisbane Broncos forward Pat Carrigan is a softly spoken giant, someone who leads by example and is still fallible enough to overdo the beers on occasion. His Broncos teammate, the nail-polish-wearing, ref-abusing smart alec Reece Walsh is definitely a villain.
Canberra Raiders centre Matt Timoko combines talent with hard work and humility. His teammate Hudson Young though, combines eye-gouging, fighting and Origin dud into one package that would not only make the villains side but would revel in it.
It was Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs former captain Reed Mahoney that started this idea, having transformed himself from likeable headgear-wearing tackle machine into an unlikeable complaining grub. He should look at young Jacob Preston, who is showing more experienced teammates how to play with effort and integrity each and every week.
Former Dally M medallist Nicho Hynes is one of Cronulla Sharks’ good guys. Talented, humble, likeable and respected. And surprisingly for a club that once contained Wade Graham, the Fifita twins Andrew and David and the grubbiest of them all Paul Gallen, it is hard to find a villain in this current crew. Ronaldo Mulitalo gets the nod for trying to pass himself off as a Queenslander.
The Dolphins brought a ready-made villain in cheap-shot merchant Felise Kaifusi. For the good guys, many were happy to see Jamayne Isaako realise his talent to top the point scoring table last year.
Gold Coast Titans have an absolute gem in captain Tino Fa’asuamaleaui. Champion bloke and champion player. To say they’re lucky to have him is an understatement. They also have David Fifita who is offensively inoffensive, particularly given his pay packet. Lazy Davy is as villainous as this bland bunch get.
Manly Sea Eagles have a million Trbojevics to choose from and Jake is the epitome of good bloke. Loves a laugh and looks totally unathletic but tackles like a demon and never lets his teammates down. Rainbow-jersey-hating bookend and brain-snap specialist Josh Aloiai, on the other hand, is an irritant for fans and foes of the club alike.
Everyone loves seeing Ryan Papenhuyzen back and the mullet flying for the Melbourne Storm. Everyone loves an underdog and this luckless, undersized champion is just that.
While Papi is universally loved, Nelson Asofa-Solomona is as far from that as you can get, with his raised forearms and big angry man schtick somehow escaping the match review committee time and again.
The enigma that is Newcastle’s Jackson Hastings is puzzling indeed. Now on his fifth club, he is polite and humble when on camera, but despised by past teammates and consistently moved on from clubs due to conflict. He has to be a villain. Bradman Best, on the other hand, seems well-liked and quietly gets on with living up to his aspirational name.
The New Zealand Warriors have Shaun Johnson playing with a smile on his face and the kind of carefree abandon that comes with being released from the burden of expectation. It’s a beautiful thing. Choosing a bad guy is hard though.
While the on-field thuggery of elbow-thrower Mitch Barnett and the domestic violence of Addin Fonua-Blake stake a claim, Dylan Walker combines on-field fighting, off-field unsavouriness, and Origin failure into one package.
North Queensland has the pocket-sized Tom Dearden as a co-captain. Heading north with a point to prove after failing to establish himself at Brisbane, this strawberry blonde lad quietly worked his way into an Origin jersey and nobody begrudges him that. Like Cronulla, the Cowboys are short on villains, but Kyle Feldt will always be one to Brisbane fans thanks to that try in the 2015 grand final and the villains need a winger, so he’ll do.
Parramatta Eels halfback, terminal whinger and one-time gay slur exponent Mitchell Moses is an easy pick for the villains, although some would give his captain Clint Gutherson the nod. The heavily tattooed J’maine Hopgood, on the other hand, is the kind of bloke who keeps his mouth shut and gets on with it. That makes him a hero in this team.
Almost cartoonish in his villainy is Penrith Panthers pivot Jerome Luai. On and off the field he’s never too far away from trouble, usually because of his mouth. His captain Isaah Yeo, however, exemplifies the hard-working country boy and couldn’t be more opposite.
South Sydney captain Cam Murray is respected by teammates, opposition players and fans across the board. He feels fear as much as he feels fatigue – not at all. While angry ant Cody Walker has made a stake at villain status, fullback Latrell Mitchell’s extensive judiciary record gets him the nod, although he’ll have to play centre.
Roly-poly prop Blake Lawrie is the kind of pie-eating, self-deprecating and immensely likeable everyman that fans, and not just St George Illawarra fans, can get behind. Jack De Belin is a walking example that there’s a big difference between “not found guilty” and “found not guilty”. Let’s just leave it there.
Speaking of not-found-guilty-in-a-criminal-trial types, drug cheat Michael Jennings is an embarrassment to the Sydney Roosters. He also keeps hard men Jared Warea-Hargreaves and Victor Radley out of the villains side. For the good guys, Daniel Tupou continues to impress not only for his consistency but his complete lack of emotion. Ever. Has anyone confirmed he’s not actually a robot?
Last of all the Wests Tigers are being captained wonderfully by the ever-effervescent Api Koroisau who epitomises the heart-and-soul type. International angry man John Bateman can represent the villains, especially because it would be funny to make him play alongside Jackson Hastings.
Every side needs a coach and a bunch of good blokes needs a gentle cajoling type to make them feel happy and get the best out of them. Unassuming Andrew Webster has done this with the Warriors and can grab the clipboard for the heroes.
For the other side, current Dragons coach Shane Flanagan has shown that he won’t let salary caps, suspensions or anti-doping laws get in the way of his efforts to succeed. He’s a certainty.
So how do they line up?
Heroes
1. Ryan Papenhuyzen
2. Daniel Tupou
3. Bradman Best
4. Matt Timoko
5. Jamayne Isaako
6. Tom Dearden
7. Shaun Johnson
8. Tino Fa’asuamaleaui
9. Api Koroisau
10. Pat Carrigan
11. Jacob Preston
12. Cam Murray
13. Isaiah Yeo
14. Nicho Hynes
15. J’Maine Hopgood
16. Jake Trbojevic
17. Blake Lawrie
Coach: Andrew Webster
Villains
1. Reece Walsh
2. Ronaldo Mulitalo
3. Latrell Mitchell
4. Michael Jennings
5. Kyle Feldt
6. Jerome Luai
7. Mitchell Moses
8. Josh Aloiai
9. Reed Mahoney
10. Nelson Asofa-Solomona
11. Hudson Young
12. John Bateman
13. Jack De Belin
14. Jackson Hastings
15. Felise Kaufusi
16. David Fifita
17. Dylan Walker
Coach: Shane Flanagan
What do you think, Roarers? Will the good guys overcome the innate villainy of the bad guys? Or will the bite of the bit-of-mongrel side be too much for those goody two-shoes?
Let the showdown begin!
Good Grief
Roar Rookie
I reckon you have Tino in the wrong team. No place for Turbo?
langparker
Roar Rookie
PS: Kevvie is also a twin so had to share everything with Kerrod until they were split up.
langparker
Roar Rookie
Surely Kevin Walters pips Webster for the coaching spot for the good guys team. He’s been in the public eye a lot longer and yet to see or hear anything that could sully his exemplary character.
Maxtruck
Roar Rookie
Standout must be Julian O'Neill , taking a dump in Jeremy Schloss's shoe Dubbo hotel hallway.
Dutski
Roar Guru
I hadn’t targeted the Poms as bad boys, honest!
Dutski
Roar Guru
New entry in the Big Book of How The Hell Did That Happen???
BigGordon
Roar Rookie
No chance of getting help from the bad guys in the Bunker, Tony.
Horses for Courses
Roar Rookie
I love Tino as much as any Queenslander but there is no way he's a Hero.
The Barry
Roar Guru
Yeah he probably gets it…
Albo
Roar Rookie
Strewth ! There really are raft of bad boy candidates out there at the Dogs ! But.......Danika Mason ?
Nat
Roar Guru
Give me an X E R R I
The Barry
Roar Guru
They’re all angels What about Salmon - I’m not sure he did too much wrong but there’s not many weak gutted dogs in the comp Liam Knight? Not so much bad boy as daft boy. Tried to beat a breathalyser by spraying Aeroguard into his own gob. But he’s dating Danika Mason now, so all is forgiven Kikau? Robbing a living as the NRL’s most overrated and overpaid player :laughing: Fox got in a fight at the Koori carnival last year. Crichton jumped into the Raiders celebration a few years back It’s all pretty mild these days compared to Dogs teams of yesteryear… a team of unassuming heroes everyone can get behind…
Dionysus
Roar Rookie
Fully agree with that comment and you definitely have the bad guys coach spot on. It does seem that anyone with Pommie blood automatically ends up in the bad boy list ? Bateman was a hero in Canberra until Covid made life difficult for this family man who was then treated rather badly by a sook coach. All in all, a good article and I agree, Paul Gallen was the grubbiest grub to rule them all.
Arcturus
Roar Rookie
Two good sides, one epitomising hard but fair play, the other pulling out all stops and not averse to a bit of foul play to get the result. I'm picturing Bill Harrigan reffing the first half with the Heroes going out to a handy lead; but then Barry Gomersall takes over officiating in the second half and ensures the Villains get the win.
Dutski
Roar Guru
:laughing:
Dutski
Roar Guru
I had forgotten all that stuff about Api. Reed is a bit hard done by but since it was other people complaining about Reed on a live blog that sparked the idea so I felt committed. Care to nominate an alternative villain from the Dogs?
The Barry
Roar Guru
I just don’t want to turn this into another two week long Kikau war… :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Nat
Roar Guru
Have to say, I think this one goes to the bad guys. Now that we’ve established that Mulitalo is not a Qlder his mouth certainly qualifies him into this team. One day his mouth will get him Dylan Walker’d.
Tony
Roar Guru
Poor old Jack Hetherington will be disappointed not to be packing down with Mahoney
The Barry
Roar Guru
Wasn’t that long ago Api was breaking Covid rules and sneaking girls into origin camp. I’m pretty sure he plead guilty to break and enter while sauced up - that qualifies as a good guy now? Poor old sweet little Reed Mahoney pleads for the odd penalty and gets assaulted by brain damaged thugs twice his size and he’s a bad guy? :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: The world’s gone topsy turvy… :laughing: :laughing: Other than that, I think the good guys have it if they ever go head to head. Maybe this can replace the all stars clash…?