The glorious unpredictability of the Super Rugby Pacific competition was highlighted yet again in Round 11, although so was the accuracy of my column last week.
Anyone who watched the Waratahs, Rebels and Force play must’ve come away feeling that the fact of New Zealanders being better at rugby had been well established.
Yet somehow, the Reds defeated the Crusaders for the first time in about six hundred years, and the Brumbies defied expectations by playing horribly, then defied them again by winning anyway.
Such is the chaotically thrilling rugby world in 2024 that when Team A can thrash Team B, who then trounces Team C, who goes on to belt Team A.
But the most exciting thing about this year’s Super Rugby is the green shoots showing on this side of the Tasman.
The Reds and Brumbies look strong, the Rebels are often competitive, the Waratahs are only utterly humiliated every three or four weeks or so, and the Force have lovely uniforms.
There’s a lot of hope around the country. But there’s so much more work still to be done.
Improvements are apparent in many players and teams, but none of the Australian franchises is the finished article yet.
Every team is climbing a ladder to the top, and to reach the next rung there are crucial ingredients that they need to stir into their spicy rugby casserole.
So, what does each Australian side need to ascend to the next level in their journey?
The Brumbies – Memory Aids
After their crushing defeat to the Blues, the Brumbies realised that they needed to lift their intensity and up their physicality, and so they did against the Hurricanes, scoring a famous victory.
The following week, they played the Drua and forgot all of that, copping a battering from the Fijians and barely escaping embarrassment.
The ability of the Brumbies to match and beat the best is not in question: it’s just that they seem to have short-term memory loss and every second game or so they forget how to do it.
Noah Lolesio of the Brumbies. (Photo by Mark Nolan/Getty Images)
The task of Brumbies coaches and management, then, is to find a way to remind the players every week of how to win a game of rugby.
There are lots of ways they can do this; instructions flashed on the big screen is one. Tattoos of a ten-point guide to winning rugby games on every player’s arm is another.
There are also a number of apps that claim to be able to improve memory.
Whatever method they choose, the Brumbies should act quickly, because if this team manages to remember how to play in every game anytime soon, watch out all the other teams.
Waratahs – A Change in the Draw
The Waratahs haven’t had their best season in 2024, although the really depressing thing is that they haven’t had their worst either.
There’s a lot of promise in this NSW team, but they have a real problem sticking to their strengths.
Too often the players get away from what they’re good at and try to play outside their lane.
It would be surprising if the hierarchy hasn’t identified this problem, and it may be too late for this year. But before the 2025 season begins, steps will hopefully have been taken to ensure the Waratahs concentrate on their strengths and minimise their weaknesses.
Mainly these steps should take the form of lobbying New Zealand Rugby to allow the Waratahs to play every one of their games against the Crusaders. If done well, this could result in a spectacular season ahead.
They could also work on goal-kicking under pressure, defence and securing possession, but that does seem like a lot of work.
Reds – Mood Stabilisers
Reds fans must be over the moon right now, after their latest display of fearsome physicality and fearless flamboyance to win in Christchurch.
That’s a problem because every time fans get over the moon about the Reds, the team’s performance goes all Apollo 13 on them and they’re stranded in outer space.
Hunter Paisami of the Reds. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)
The Reds beat the Chiefs, but lost to the Force. They flogged the Highlanders and went within seconds of knocking off the Blues, but couldn’t beat Moana Pasifika.
Clearly playing really well is bad for them: it gets them over-excited and they go all floppy. It’s vital that the Reds find a way to rein in their emotions and keep a level head.
It’s wonderful to see the way Les Kiss’s team has surged back into contention this year, but it feels like if we go on thinking it’s wonderful, we’re bound to be disappointed.
The only way the Reds will achieve true elite status is if everyone acts like nothing special has happened. Medication may help, but hypnosis can also work wonders.
Even if the team itself can’t stabilise its mood, at least we can make an effort to spare our own broken hearts.
Rebels – Rebranding
Two things have become apparent about the Melbourne Rebels this year: firstly, that they actually can play some pretty good rugby every now and then; and secondly, that this is being kept a tightly guarded secret from the Victorian population.
The Rebels’ financial woes are well-known, and though various solutions are being thrown around, it’s difficult to see how the team can have a long-term future without a supporter base that can’t fit in a Volkswagen.
Yet Melbourne is a shockingly competitive sporting market, with the Rebels having to compete for eyeballs not just against the Melbourne Storm and the approximately seventy-three Melbourne-based AFL clubs, but a thriving live theatre scene and the Dromana Drive-In.
Tuaina Tualima Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, Jordan Uelese, Sam Talakai and Rob Leota of the Rebels. (Photo by Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images)
Clearly, the Rebels need to do something drastic to get attention and summon some brand recognition in the southern market.
With this in mind, whoever ends up running the franchise should act immediately to change the team’s name and public image.
I would suggest that going forward, the team be known as “Collingwood Football Club”, and adopt a new playing strip of black and white stripes without sleeves.
If they could convince other Super Rugby teams to change their names, to things like “Essendon” or “Carlton”, that would certainly help too.
Even if spectators don’t fall for it, it will result in a huge boost in media coverage, as the Victorian press, as always, will be unable to resist blanket coverage of anything called Collingwood without checking too closely what’s going on.
Western Force – Some good players
Sometimes when an organisation hits rock bottom, it takes some innovative left-field thinking to drag it out of the hole.
This is the principle behind my idea to rejuvenate the Western Force by getting some good players and having them play well in games. There are no guarantees, but having tried everything else, surely it’s worth a shot?
Dionysus
Roar Rookie
Ohh That is worrying
Doctordbx
Roar Rookie
Stan will have run the numbers for them.
Dionysus
Roar Rookie
"The current status quo isn’t winning new viewers though" and that is exactly my point. So we go ahead and get rid of the Rebels, we lose many Melbourne fans so we are already in deficit. Better players go to 1) another club, 2) Overseas, 3) the NRL. How many elite players currently at the Rebels opting for Option 1) is it going to take to attract new fans in NSW/QLD to compensate for those we have just lost in Melbourne ? How much of an audience increase across those states will justify losing your 2nd biggest state for advertising ? How many big sponsors are going to consider twice about investing in a sport that doesn't represent a quarter of the population ? I know its not an easy question but has anyone at RA really run the numbers ?
Doctordbx
Roar Rookie
The current status quo isn't winning new viewers though. If we reduce teams, improve competitiveness and start winning against Kiwi teams more often, then we will start attracting new viewers instead of losing them. The second issue is we are losing viewers in the heartlands of Rugby. The viewer base that makes up the majority of viewers and pays the bills - QLD and NSW. Losing fans here is far more damaging than losing fans in Melbourne, no matter how many ways you try to slice the turkey. That has to be stopped. And to stop that, we need a competition that we can actually compete in. And to compete in this competition we need strong teams with great coaching. An NRC / tier 3 comp would also go a long way, assuming it can also be a competitive comp. Simply taking the top of the Shute Shield and Hospital Cup isn't going to cut it... and in fact would do more to isolate fans than to bring them on board.
Dionysus
Roar Rookie
I do not dispute what you are saying at all. We are very much on the same page with much of that however Rugby does not exist in a vacuum. Whilst in theory reducing the number of teams means there are more elite players go to other teams improving competitiveness ignore the fact that an expanding NRL would probably suck in more than 1 or 2 of those elites. We have seen some of that the last few months. The problem is at the business end of things, we have to be looking at how we grow audiences and revenue and I am talking about more than just praying a WC gets us out of a hole. Without fixing up those two things we are well and truly stuffed and I cannot see for the life of me how losing your 2nd biggest market addresses either of those two things. We need a leadership that is capable of identifying how we grow. If that does involve losing the Rebels then as hard as that is, I could live with it as a part of a clear growth strategy however, simply losing the rebels and continuing doing what we are doing despite it failing looks like the very definition of madness to me. I agree on the coaching front by the way.
Doctordbx
Roar Rookie
I think the problem is not just the Rebels and the apathy of the Melbourne market though. The problem is one of competitiveness. Fans are tired of watching our teams getting touched up by Kiwis and constantly losing doesn't attract new fans. The belief is perhaps by reducing teams we can increase the competitiveness of the remaining teams. It's not a bad idea however on its own is simply not enough. When you have a team like the Waratahs stacked with test players sitting at the bottom it's obvious consolidating teams and strengthening their rosters is not enough. Coaching is also a massive problem reducing the teams won't fix.
Dionysus
Roar Rookie
I know a lot of what is said is being said is in jest but there are some very big veins of truth in it. Rebels matches have never been advertised that I know of. Even in AMMI Park, there are no posters or ads of any kind. There is never any mention of rugby in the press even though the Storm manage to get in there on a fairly regular basis. Rebels games are a massive secret in Melbourne and if what it takes is sleeveless black & white vests then go for it. It is interesting to note this week that as RA ponders its position on the Rebels seemingly determined to kick them out no matter what and reduce our product in this country by 20%, the NRL have announced that it is considering adding 3 new clubs before 2030 – Perth, PNG and Christchurch. Now whilst there may be a little hot air in that statement, one organisation clearly sees expansion as its road to success whilst the other sees consolidation as the only profit making solution. It will be interesting to see who is correct. One thing is for sure, Rugby and League are two different sports but too similar to completely discard the notion that they are both playing for the same market. Whilst the NRL’s expansion is likely to increase awareness of these two sports and increase the total potential audience, it is highly likely that the more astute organisation with the better product will gain the most and in the longer term at the expense of the other. RA need to be wary.
Guess
Roar Rookie
Idk why Brumbies fans are so optimistic either if you ask me. They get too high on beating tahs I guess lol
Guess
Roar Rookie
Great article. I'm in for tahs only playing saders. We should have our own comp :stoked:
El Flash
Roar Rookie
As a Kiwi living here in Australia I'm delighted to see some young blood filtering through the Australian SR sides however, until such time as the Australian SR sides play the Kiwi sides twice (home & away), this competition will never be on a level playing field. To have to watch the rather boorish Brumbies supporters crowing about their current teams position on the ladder & how they may well eventually take top spot irks. In reality the Brumbies have only had to play each Kiwi side once & they get to play the Hurricanes & Crusaders at home. The moment they had to play across the ditch they got hammered by both the Chiefs & the Blues. Can we get real here. Just where would the Brumbies be on the ladder if they had to play on an even field.
Ankle-tapped Waterboy
Roar Rookie
How's the morning machiatto holding today?
Gkl
Roar Rookie
— COMMENT DELETED —
Gkl
Roar Rookie
Hi ATW Relocate the clubs to Rottnest island, kangaroo island, Groote Eylandt, Stradbroke island, goat island. Surrounded by salt water. Gkl
Bliksem
Roar Rookie
They had to say something about the Force although it is not making sense. The Force need to write this season off and focus on preparing for next season. This is like having a close family member in jail. You still love them , visit them often, think of them, however prefer not to talk about them.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
Superb article-lucky us to be spoiled like this.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
Actually teams are rarely lazy or lacking physicality or unfit. Easy ways to simplify descriptions of more complex problems. Those with long memories may remember Robbie Deans' response to a question about physicality: 'Is that a word?' In fact it is an old word but not at all intended for use in the modish contemporary sports manner.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
Cheika already won SR with the Waratahs so won't want to do the same thing again.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
The qualities described remind me most of all of the completely accurate stereotype of the French team as emotionally wild, leaping from fearless confidence to quaking terror for no apparent reason week to week so no one can know 'which French team will turn up' for a particular match. Players and teams often aspire to emulate great players or sides in the world and maybe somehow coaches have got the idea that Australian Super Rugby teams just need to model themselves on France.
Train Without A Station
Roar Guru
That’s one game. I didn’t see it as I was on holidays so can’t pass comment on how accurate the statement was. They were physical against the hurricanes though. But got ran around and out smarted. Likewise their forwards were criticised for losing the physical battle vs the brumbies. Except they didn’t. Rebels were smoked in the backs and out smarted. Physicality is thrown out inaccurately all the time
SB
Roar Rookie
I’m glad you mentioned the Rebels in your lazy analysis. “The Rebels are an example of plenty physical”. The Rebels weren’t too physical against the Blues. They got smashed physically everywhere from the get go. My point is. It all starts from the mindset. If you are not prepared to be physical. The chances of winning go down rapidly.