Despite my own NRL team stinking up the joint, I must say the 2023 season was one of the most enjoyable in recent history. Whether it was the feel-good story of the Dolphins early season success, the re-emergence of the Warriors, or Paul Kent disappearing from the public eye, there just seemed to be more optimism and happiness this year.
Well, unless you were a Tigers fan.
Now the season has sadly concluded, it’s time for me to front up and revisit my fearless pre-season predictions.
Just a warning though: this article contains some content that viewers may find disturbing. Yes, that’s just how bad some of this year’s prediction were.
Let’s rip this off like some old ankle tape, shall we?
(Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)
The Dolphins won’t get wooden spoon
The overwhelming vast majority of footy fans – and the bookies – had the Dolphins ‘winning’ the spoon in 2023. But not I!
Whilst the media made plenty of noise about the Dolphins failure to land a marquee signing, it conveniently overlooked the fact the club landed the biggest name of all: supercoach Wayne Bennett.
Bennett’s no-frills coaching and simple message of ‘run hard, tackle hard’ was the perfect strategy for a team devoid of stars, but big on effort. The club ambushed the Roosters in round one, and proceeded to be the surprise packet of the competition in the first half of season.
Eventually their lack of depth caught up with them as injuries and suspensions destroyed their early momentum, seeing the club fall and finish outside of the eight. Yet they were a long way from the dreaded spoon, and therefore deliver me a correct prediction first up.
Verdict: 1 point
Matt Burton will take home the Dally M Medal
Moving forward, I really need to take off my Bulldogs jersey when I do these predictions.
Burton showed flashes of individual brilliance throughout the season, but was asked to do a little too much for the battling Belmore boys. He was inconsistent, at best, and the Dogs’ overall struggles certainly didn’t help his Dally M cause either.
Not only did he not win the medal, he didn’t even finish in the top 10. So I guess you can put this down as an incorrect prediction.
Verdict: 0 points
Penrith celebrate a third consecutive NRL premiership in the change rooms. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)
Panthers won’t make the Grand Final
Penrith won the minor premiership – again – before demolishing the Warriors and Storm to qualify for their fourth straight grand final. Then they won the premiership. For the third year in a row.
In a long history of shockingly bad predictions, this one might just be my worst.
I’m tempted to take away the one correct point I’ve already been awarded as punishment for how horrendously bad this take was.
Verdict: 0 points
Wests Tigers won’t be hot garbage
Oh, so the Panthers prediction was my worst ever, huh? Well hold my beer!
Knowing this prediction sounded a little ambiguous, I ensured it was a little more tangible by stating: “The Tigers won’t finish in the bottom four, and will have a points differential of -120 or better.”
Well, the Tigers did finish in the bottom four – dead last, actually – with a points differential of -290.
Wow.
I really though the Tigers would be better this season, but they remain the unfunny laughing stock of the NRL.
Verdict: 0 points
My ladder prediction (with team’s actual finish in parentheses)
1. Panthers (1st)
2. Roosters (7th)
3. Sharks (6th)
4. Storm (3rd)
5. Rabbitohs (9th)
6. Eels (10th)
7. Cowboys (11th)
8. Bulldogs (15th)
9. Raiders (8th)
10. Sea Eagles (12th)
11. Knights (5th)
12. Broncos (2nd)
13. Tigers (17th)
14. Titans (14th)
15. Dragons (16th)
16. Dolphins (13th)
17. Warriors (4th)
Certainly not the worst ladder prediction I’ve done, with the Panthers and Titans selections bang on, and three more teams within one place of their actual finish.
The biggest shocker was the Warriors, who rode their ‘Up the Wahs!’ momentum all the way to a top four finish, and a very, very long way away from my wooden spoon prognostication. Much to my chagrin, and the glee of my ‘Day One’ Warriors mates.
Overall
A score of 1 point reads a lot better than the reality: these may have been my worst ever predictions! Just absolute hot trash, and I deserve any and all scorn from Roarers.
The good news is that there’s always next season!
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
I can forgive that when he got the first two coaches right (no O'Brien or Seibold tip(!)) and nailed the Dolphins' slump.
criag
Roar Rookie
I dunno, The Roosters nearly got to a GF qualifier, that's kind of close.
criag
Roar Rookie
For me: The Dolphins Won't Get the Wooden Spoon: One point (Although I did pick the Dragons - Minus one point). Panthers WILL be in the Grand Final: One point (Although I did pick their opponents to be Souths - Minus one point). Wests Tigers Will be garbage: One point (Although I did pick the Bulldogs to massively improve and make the top 8 - Minus one point.....I make the same prediction for them next year, but finish 9th). Roosters to finish in the bottom half of the 8. (The "with the roster they have" line is getting old): Yay! One point and I get to keep it (but they're my team :unhappy: )
Tony
Roar Guru
I love the idea of marshal law :happy:
matth
Roar Guru
Pretty shocking effort that :silly: Hmm, let’s see how I did: Okay so my fearless 5. 1. Someone will imply the Roosters are rorting the salary cap That was a gimme :stoked: 2. At some point in the season Latrell Mitchell will make it all about him Another gimme 3. The Broncos will lose one match to the Dolphins and continue to sulk about no longer having a monopoly in Brisbane. No, they nearly lost and then acted like they won the premiership (our town!!) 4. NSW to win State of Origin by taking out the first two games, as we get back to normal transmission of the trophy regularly swapping hands. How wrong was that one? Thanks Billy. 5. We finally see a Souths vs Roosters grand final and Sydney is placed under Martial Law Dead wrong on that one as the 1908 teams struggled badly this year. And a bonus that I have previously stated elsewhere: 6. Dolphins win their round two match at Redcliffe over the Raiders in Golden Point. Well they won with a last minute try in the rain, so I’ll take the win :stoked:
Tony
Roar Guru
No grieving family deserves that
andrew
Roar Rookie
To quote John McEnroe, you cannot be serious.
CW Moss
Roar Rookie
A golden point :boxing:
Ryan O'Connell
Expert
1 point. Obviously.
Ryan O'Connell
Expert
Working in a funeral home last I heard/read. (I'm serious!)
rakshop
Roar Rookie
That is a fair assumption to make however I view the Broncos 24 more like Souths 23 than Cowboys 23 - important personnel changes will cause structural and depth issues. The Cows didnt really change personnel from 22 to 23. What failed the Cowboys 23 was; a. Todd Payten badly underestimated the impact of the World Cup on their preseason b. Suspensions and injuries completely decimated the Cowboys for the first 13 rounds. Ironically, both the Cows and Broncs 24' squads share identical traits - and share exactly the same structural problems. Both are top-heavy with one too many stars earning (too) big money, both have a couple of young superstars, and they now have to figure out what retention policy they are going to enact in the future. Both have an ageing halfback that (I would argue) are being paid overs for what they provide - yet have a more than capable replacement being paid unders waiting in the wings. Both have an ageing winger that is being retained because, for no other reason, than for fan loyalty despite the fact they dont quite fit a modern attacking structure. But simultaneously, both also now have a gap on the left edge thanks to key a departing centre.
Forty Twenty
Roar Rookie
Big call on the Broncos in 24 , massive call. Maybe they'll be like the Cows in 23?
Forty Twenty
Roar Rookie
Des got in at a good time. I suspect if he was appointed a year or two earlier he might not have lasted. I saw the Beagles beat the Knights at Gosford but it wasn't all that enjoyable. Lacking any sort of atmosphere.
CW Moss
Roar Rookie
What's the pass mark for becoming an 'expert' on the Roar? :stoked: :happy: add a point for showing up.
The Barry
Roar Guru
Nothing wrong with a score of 1… :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :silly: – Penrith to complete the first three-peat since Parra in the 80s Easy money :sick: – seven of last season’s top eight to make the eight again Unfortunately (for my tip, not for the sake of the comp) three went out and three came in. The three that went out finished 9th, 10th, 11th so they weren’t a million miles away :sick: – Turbo to play at least 20 games and win his second Dally M (2 for 1) 0 from 2. I’ll always back Turbo’s talent, but never rely on his body :angry: – Jacob Preston to be rookie of the year Robbed by the silly two week suspension and you’re out rule. This was probably my boldest call and it came close(ish) :sick: – Ronaldo Mulitalo to be leading tryscorer Can I claim that I meant Ronaldo would be the Sharks leading tryscorer? Didn’t think so. He topped the Sharks list but finished 6th overall with 20
Bill
Roar Rookie
The biggest regret of that period is not allowing Beavers games to be included in his Manly tally
Dwanye
Roar Rookie
I did the coaching cert years ago. Peter sharp was one of the blokes giving the course. Was an awesome bloke. I thought he has had a tough run
Dwanye
Roar Rookie
‘Difficult. Not impossible’ - Rocco
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
Way too accurate! Everyone else gets a point start.
Tim Carter
Roar Pro
This happens every year. Ryan showed restraint this time by not giving himself a bonus point for being savvy enough to come up with a prediction with a 94% probability.