Super Rugby closing in on the mid-season point and entering a three-week phase of bye rounds is a reminder of how tenuous the competition really is.
Six matches across a weekend almost guarantees one or two blockbuster clashes, while four matches – depending on how the draw falls – can leave fans feeling a bit short-changed.
With less rugby to fill space, news stories from the non-rugby world seep into the consciousness. For example, we learned over the weekend, who the kind soul was that gave actor Rebel Wilson her first orgasm; at the same time as another actress and model, Liz Hurley, was denying that it was she who gave Prince Harry his.
There was the man charged over urinating into a cup on an Air New Zealand flight – and haven’t we all been tempted to do that? Whilst that old chestnut, a survey on penis length reared its ugly head again; Australian men coming in at 43rd biggest in the world, at 14.4cm.
If that rather modest showing, reminiscent of the Wallabies slipping to ninth in the official World Rugby rankings, feels somewhat disheartening, be comforted by the fact that England – Jonny Bairstow, Owen Farrell and all – registered a miserly 13.1cm.
Nobody begrudges the bye week. It is essential for players and coaches to escape the intense weekly cycle, to rest weary bodies and minds, and to be able to re-set for the next phase of the season.
But rounds of only four matches are problematic for a competition that has found some momentum this year, but which now threatens to slip back into a cycle of predictable outcomes and not enough genuine quality.
All of which made Rugby Australia CEO Phil Waugh’s message to Rebels’ staff, via zoom last Thursday, the more curious. Waugh explained that the primary reason for the delay in any announcement about the future of the franchise was because Rugby Australia and NZ Rugby were waiting for broadcasters to tell it what type of competition it wanted, moving forward.
(Photo by Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images)
Setting aside whether this is an example of the tail wagging the dog or the dog not knowing what kind of tail it has, it is hard to envisage any TV network embracing less content – a reduction to 11 teams would mean five matches in a normal weekly round instead of six – and paying more money for that.
Alternatively, if the Rebels were to be replaced by a team from Argentina – thus maintaining six matches in a normal weekly round – are we really to believe that Australian and New Zealand broadcasters will pay more for this, than what they would for a Melbourne presence?
As well as the ongoing Rebels’ situation, Super Rugby easing off the pedal also helps divert attention to other pressing off-field matters, such as the ugly, public spat between the NZ Rugby Players Association and NZ Rugby.
Ostensibly a clash over the most appropriate governance model for New Zealand rugby, this stoush is actually rooted in the same factors at the heart of the angst in Australia; a too-small, too competitive commercial market, not enough money to feed all of the rugby mouths that professional rugby demands, and disconnection with people at the coal face of the game.
It was thus ironic – or more correctly, deeply disappointing – that the thing that kept rugby on the map over the weekend was the Fijian Drua’s astonishing capitulation in Melbourne; a 41-20 loss to the Rebels after two players, Frank Lomani and Jone Koroiduadua, were sent off for gross acts of foul play.
(Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)
At half-time, with the Drua deservedly ahead by 20-15, the Rebels’ coaching team were clear and direct about what was required. Forwards coach Geoff Parling insisted, “If we’ve got advantage, don’t spread and run away from them. Latch tight and take them to a dark place.”
Scrum coach Nick Stiles hammered home a similar point: “Stay on them. We build pressure through our scrum and maul dominance.”
A dark place indeed. When that pressure was duly delivered, it needed a relief valve. Nevertheless, it was a shock to all watching to see the form in which it played out.
For his trouble, Josh Canham copped 20 stitches, four more than his astonishing 16 lineout wins on the night. Or, to put it another way, close to two stitches for every week Lomani potentially faces on the sideline.
Alex Mafi was a whisker away from joining Canham in day surgery; not that the absence of heavy contact will help Koroiduadua, such was the power and intent behind his head butt.
Predicting judiciary decisions is an imprecise science at the best of times. Here, with so few precedents involving blatant thuggery in recent years, there’s an element of the judiciary stepping into uncharted territory.
But with so much focus placed on protecting the head, and players like Sef Fa’agase receiving four weeks for little more than incidental head contact, both Lomani and Koroiduadua – deservedly – look set for a long stretch out of the game.
Compounding the situation, should a now-launched SANZAAR investigation determine that a fan delivered a racial slur to Lomani, it goes without saying that his days at AAMI Park are done.
The head-turning incidents didn’t stop there; referee Damon Murphy somehow deciding from behind that Filipo Daugunu failed to force a grubber kick for a second-half try, when unwanted video evidence suggested otherwise.
Surely the directive to use TMOs more sparingly and keep the game moving doesn’t extend to not using them at all in such close-call try-scoring situations?
After suffering through rain showers, fans in Canberra had to wait until late to see some elite action; Charlie Cale streaking in for a superb team try, capping a solid 40-16 win over the Waratahs.
That try secured a bonus point, although it was a desperate three-man tackle on Dylan Pietsch, after the siren, that maintained it.
If their season wasn’t a lost cause already, it’s hard to see how the Waratahs claw their way back into contention from here; particularly with Angus Bell hobbling off the field with what looks ominously like another serious leg injury.
(Photo by Darrian Traynor/Getty Images)
New Wallabies scrum coach Mike Cron was all smiles and optimism on his first day on the job, last week in Melbourne. He’ll be hoping his second week goes much better than his first.
Missing Ryan Lonergan at general, the Brumbies lacked composure in the red zone in the first half. Cleaner execution came after the break and, now sitting at six wins and one loss, they are well placed to push on for a home final, in June.
Both New Zealand matches finished where many people predicted they would; wins to the Blues 50-3 over the Force, and the Chiefs 68-12 over Moana Pasifika.
Emoni Narawa had a wretched end to 2023, missing out on the World Cup after suffering a back injury. He was due for a day out, and it finally came, the slippery winger running freely and bagging three of the Chiefs’ ten tries.
As ever, Moana Pasifika showed patches with the ball, although they seemed to be suffering under an illusion that having a back-field defence against the Chiefs was not something they needed to bother themselves with. Wrong.
The Force have their bye this week; not a moment too soon, as they take the opportunity to reset before they take on the Crusaders at home, in a fortnight.
That left the Hong Kong Sevens to close off the weekend, the event still holding sway as my longest unfulfilled bucket list item. Maybe next year.
Australia team huddle before the game against France on day one of the Cathay/ HSBC Hong Kong Sevens at Hong Kong Stadium on 5 April, 2024 in Hong Kong, China. Photo credit: Mike Lee – KLC fotos for World Rugby
Two Trans-Tasman semi-finals both went the way of New Zealand, 28-14 in the women’s and 26-7 in the men’s.
New Zealand dominated the women’s final, the USA not securing their first possession until there was 14 seconds left in the first half. 36-7 was full value for a complete squad performance across the weekend.
The men’s final was a much tighter affair, New Zealand edging France 10-7. Lagging on the season ladder, New Zealand’s affinity with Hong Kong continues, this their 14th title. Not quite a dark place but closing in on Fiji’s 19.
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
Going to be doing an article on the 32 teams that contested the last 16 of the Champion and Challenge Cups. about 88% of the players are European or African. Only about 10% are from the South Pacific and include 18 fijian players who never played in SR because there was not team for them to play in and would not be professionals if it weren’t for Europe. Same with the Argentine players, why should they be semi pros on NPC wages in SLAR. EPCR is working with other leagues and unions rather than looking to put teams into countries to take away from the league that is there. SRP don’t seem to be doing anything to build up relations with the other leagues like EPCR.
Monorchid
Roar Rookie
I've used a magnifying glass over the last two days. And it seems that I must be of British decent. Mind you, I'll never see 74 years old again. Maybe I should use a microscope?
Danny McGowan
Roar Rookie
Yep agree they have to spend money on 2 comps mate. But as I say I see ads for super and generally not for NPC. But agree they would spend a lot more on 2 comps than they would on one. They don't film and broadcast themselves!
Muglair
Roar Rookie
There is a lot of truth in that response, but that does not make it commercially beneficial for either party, you may be simply reiterating the current situation. You might give some thought to these: At what point do their interests diverge and why? Is it in both parties commercial interests for their interests to diverge at that point? Are you saying Stan only plans a few years ahead because it has an uncertain future? Frankly I am betting on Stan surviving as a solvent entity a lot longer than RA. No doubt rugby is a price taker, but that is a choice they make. There is no visible effort to be a price maker or even that RA intends to expend any effort in that direction. What steps would you take to give RA some benefit from the increase in market value of the rights?
Kent Dorfman
Roar Rookie
"who the kind soul was that gave actor Rebel Wilson her first orgasm" - was it Habib in the back of Pauly's car? Fully Sick mate (Fat Pizza)
Doctordbx
Roar Rookie
It's a contextual 'they'. Stan have all the leverage here, no question. They know exactly what Super Rugby is worth and what markets it is performing in. I'm not sure you can call someone a business 'brain' and dumb in the same sentence. That's an oxymoron. Like everything Rugby Australia the type of person they need would be smart enough to not want to have anything to do with them. Passion off the field is only as good as passion on the field. It can only make up for so much deficiency in technical skills. A technical master will beat a passionate novice 9 days out of 10.
AndyS
Roar Rookie
If anyone is causing all those issues, it is URC, Prem and T14 bleeding all the best players out of the other zones and treating them all as development comps. Champions and Challenge Cups are problematic primarily because of Europe's self-interest.
Red Rob
Roar Rookie
Sure but those interests never fully align. It’s lime supermarket and farmer or banker and business owner. The interests are aligned only up to a point. Stan is not guaranteed to still exist in 3 years time. It cares little for rugby’s 5 year plan. The fact is that broadcasters are not lining up to secure Aus rugby broadcast rights, so rugby is a price-taker, not a price-maker.
Muglair
Roar Rookie
Although Grey's aggression and intimidation were considered as assets by the teams he played with.
Muglair
Roar Rookie
I could never understand why Fox did not identify club rugby as a key offering, and still why Stan don't see anything under Sydney and Brisbane first grade as useful. Every club and school game is videoed or streamed. Stan's goal should be to have every rugby supporter in the country on its platform. Note to self, I need to make a point of watching the NITV game.
Muglair
Roar Rookie
But Stan's interests align with RA and vice versa. Neither seems to have figured it out. My real worry is that rugby's main use was as a foundation sport for STAN sport, now discharged.
Muglair
Roar Rookie
He would not even bleed them dry under a PE structure. Although, to be fair, he may well have considered that he did not want to provide the vehicle that Hamish used to drive Australian rugby over a cliff. I have always believed that an intelligent and robust strategic plan completed after wide transparent consultation could be used as the basis to raise money from the Australian rugby public. This would be similar to the initial proposed alternative listed vehicle put forward by the NZ players (ultimately bought off by NZRU and Silverlake). There are many wealthy people who could be expected to put money into a good plan under a well governed and objective driven structure. There are a lot of the rest of us who would put in what we could prudently afford.
Muglair
Roar Rookie
When you say "they", is that Fox gave the data to Stan, or is "They" RA, who provided whatever data Fox gave them? So what does that mean? RA would need to provide the analysis around that data. Much is made of Castle being brave and doing the right thing by throwing Fox out. The 2015 TV deal was a high point with extensive overseas interest, NSW and Wallaby success in 2014 and 2015, more teams and games. Castle wanted more money in 2019 when there was reduced interest from overseas, continual poor Australian performance across the entire four year cycle and significantly less games. She had no data to justify a demand for an increased deal. IMO that was because RA management just let HO costs expand to meet the income. RA and her were finished when Fox looked at their own data and offered a lower number. How could RA expect a better deal from a new incoming player without demonstrating how the numbers could be improved. Even if Stan does not buy that, it opens a negotiation on a ratchet for RA achieving certain milestones which lead to increased Stan viewing. Hamish apologists think we will miss his negotiating skills on the next broadcast deal. I don't. Not that I believe that either Stan or RA truly understand their interdependence, good performance from one lifts the other. This is why the constant demand for more business brains on the board instead of washed up players, irks me. We have the business brains, its just that they are not that smart. I would prefer a dumb player who bleeds at every setback instead of a business person who just worries about the impact on their reputation.
K.F.T.D.
Roar Rookie
Not the breathalyser again?
Geoff Parkes
Expert
:laughing:
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
So they don't promote the NPC. I never said they don't promote SRP but have to spend money on two competitions rather than one.
Danny McGowan
Roar Rookie
I would actually suggest over here in NZ they actually advertise Super more than NPC Brendan. Funny thing is I can go to golf club, and a lot there are what I call casual fans ( just watch on tv etc and not attend games), most will talk about who Taranaki have got or how they went during NPC, than will discuss same with Super. Go figure huh?
Tony
Roar Guru
What's this I hear about Rebel Wilson and Prince Harry conducting a survey on dick lengths?
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
'Even the AFL now has double the professional representation in NSW & QLD that RU has!' Indeed-bizarre and ridiculous.
Brendan NH Fan
Roar Rookie
In the ideal World Rugby would be split into Africa and Europe as 1 Zone and the rest of the world in Zone 2. Zone 2 effectively would be the Pacific Regions. North America would be MLR, South America would be SLAR (including the Raptors in here is a stupid idea), Asia would be J1 (they have no interest in joining SR but see themselves as growing into J1 into Asia mainland) and Oceania would be SRP. These leagues would be independent but join together for a Champions Cup and Challenge Cup so only a few games would be time issue in a year. The leagues and Cups would be able to grow Union in these countries. Instead the idiots at NZR and RA seem to want to go to war with J1, SLAR and MLR by putting teams into SRP from Japan, west coast of USA and Argentina. IF the SRP become successful they will take money from the other leagues meaning they have no other leagues to team up with. Currently URC, Prem and T14 are looking and how the package all their rugby together to get the biggest deals they can worldwide while SRP is looking to crush its future partners. They will also look for WR funds to do it (Jags can't run without WR funding) rather than letting it go to SLAR to build up Chile and Uruagay.