The Liebke Ratings: England vs Australia

To Lord’s, where cricket’s fiercest rivalry that doesn’t involve India and Pakistan resumed. Victory for Australia would ensure them a semi-final spot, while defeat to England would open the door for a comical crashing out of the tournament. A tough game for neutrals, to be sure.

Here are the ratings for the World Cup match between England and Australia.

Opening Partnerships
Grade: B-

England won the toss and Eoin Morgan elected to field in bowler-friendly conditions.

Despite this, it was a risky decision, considering former England captain Nasser Hussain was in the vicinity, almost certainly guaranteeing that Australia would finish the day on 2/364. That’s just basic ‘2002/03 history repeating itself’ technology, which powers my new run-prediction methodology, HistoryViz.

But as the innings began, it was obvious that England were superior to Australia in every way. Hussain was running rings around Michael Clarke. Mike Atherton was also too good for Michael Slater, who has now pretty much devolved into David Brent-lite. Bad signs early for the Australians, especially with Isa Guha still to come.

But on the field, Aaron Finch and David Warner were hanging in there.

Finch, in particular, was toying with the England attack, edging balls over slips, hitting fumbled catches and surviving a stumping chance off Adil Rashid. Still, it’s difficult to be critical of Jos Buttler for missing the chance. It’s tricky enough getting those zing bails to dislodge without wasting precious energy gathering the ball as well.

Finch eventually iced the cake on his teasing of the English attack by bringing up his century from a misfield.

His work done, Finch threw his wicket away next ball, prompting Clarke to declare the Australian captain ‘deserved a hundred’. Easily the most accurate ‘deserved a hundred’ in the history of cricket commentary. I retract all previous criticism.

(Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images)

Glenn Maxwell
Grade: C

Glenn Maxwell replaced Aaron Finch, with the Bradmanesque World Cup 2019 Strike Rate stat of scoring 50per cent faster than the second fastest scorer in the tournament.

On the other hand, he’s only faced an average of ten balls per innings, a target he didn’t quite reach here, as he fell for eight deliveries off twelve runs. Maxwell’s reluctance to show us any more than glimpses of his batting is presumably because he knows that we, as wretched sinners, are not worthy to witness it. Repent!

But it’s harder for Maxwell to deny us his antics when he’s in the field. So later during England’s chase he caught Chris Woakes on the boundary edge before lobbing the ball to Aaron Finch with all the nonchalance of James Bond tossing his car keys to a hotel valet, before heading inside to seduce a beautiful enemy spy.

It’s the kind of catch that the kids like to call ‘Maxwell AF’.

Spluttering To A Halt
Grade: B+

Maxwell’s dismissal opened the gates for Australia’s now traditional spluttering of their innings to a halt. First Marcus Stoinis was run out when Steve Smith refused to take a second run, and Stoinis refused to accept that Smith was refusing to take the second.

It wasn’t the greatest comedy run out I’ve ever seen but perfectly competent material, executed with professionalism. 7/10.

Then Smith and Pat Cummins fell to frustration and, I dunno, overconfidence in one’s handsomeness respectively. Australia were 7/259, and it seemed as if recalled off-spinner Nathan Lyon might get a chance to contribute with the bat as well. Inclusive stuff from a tight squad,

In the end, Lyon missed out on a hit with Australia finishing on 7/285, roughly seventy runs short of what it looked as if they’d make early on. Australia continue to make their totals and win their matches in completely the wrong way. They must feel like idiots.

Falling Below Expectations
Grade: C

England needed 286 to win. Jason ‘Humphrey B’ Behrendorff took the new ball and bowled James Vince second ball for a duck. This, of course, was roughly twenty runs fewer than what most fans expected from Vince.

Then Joe Root was trapped LBW by Mitchell Starc for 8, approximately 55 runs short of what was expected. Morgan followed, caught by Cummins on the boundary for four, 145 runs below what was expected. England were 3/26 in the sixth over.

They eventually finished on 221 all out, precisely 65 runs short of expectations.

Ben Stokes
Grade: A-

But England didn’t go down without a fight. That’s because they have Ben Stokes in the side, a man well known by both cricket fans and the Bristol constabulary for his willingness to fight.

Stokes joined forces with Buttler who, as far as I can tell, is an actual registered superhuman, to keep hope alive for England. With those two at the crease, England drew level with Australia’s worm.

But could they match the amazing deceleration of the Australian innings?

Yes, they could. In fact, they surpassed it effortlessly. First, Buttler was caught by a piece of brilliant fielding from Usman Khawaja on the boundary. Yes, ‘brilliant fielding from Usman Khawaja’. You read that right. It’s 2019, people. Get with the program.

Then Starc returned and chose to bowl one of his unplayable deliveries to Stokes who, by definition, could not play it. Stokes was castled for 89, and with him went England’s chances of winning the match.

Still, the English crowd got to boo Smith and Warner, so they all headed home happy.