I got a familiar sensation when I was reading the article by esteemed colleague Gazbo titled “The Broncos’ decline is no laughing matter”.
That sensation I’ve had so many times before, reading and listening to similar opinions. It’s my automatic reaction whenever I encounter a line like this one in the article:
“You want to see your team hurting and upset after a loss, not joking around and laughing with the opposition’s players.”
And that reaction is: well… no. I don’t.
I have never wanted to see my team hurting and upset. I’ve never enjoyed watching sportspeople crumple in devastation or weep in frustration and despair. When I see a player crushed, I feel a pang of sympathy and hope that he or she won’t be suffering this misery much longer.
I don’t feel a sense of satisfaction. I don’t think to myself, “Good. This is as it should be”.
(Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)
Frankly, when I see a defeated player smiling and laughing with an opponent, I find it quite uplifting. It’s a marvellous reminder of sport’s most beautiful element: that at the end of the day it’s just a game.
Professional sportspeople might train obsessively, compete ferociously, and crash and bash their opponents with oft-brutal vigour while the contest is hot, but when the whistle blows, it’s lovely to see the fiercest of foes expressing comradeship with each other.
The fact is, though during a game these people are mortal enemies, in a broader sense they are colleagues, fellow travellers in a tough job, and they have much more in common than they have differences. Fraternal feeling between them is not only natural, it’s commendable.
Now, those who take the position that there must be much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the wake of defeat will say that a public demonstration of grief is necessary in order that loyal fans know that the players care as much about the game as we do.
To which I would say: seriously? You can’t know that they care unless they make a display of their disappointment?
After watching them go into battle for an hour and a half, you’re still unable to gauge whether commitment is present without checking out which direction their mouths are curving in?
I call nonsense. I believe it’s pretty rare for players to not give their all on the field in any case, but if they truly don’t care whether they win or lose, the way they play is going to be a much more telling indicator than whether they’re rending their garments post-whistle.
(Photo by Tracey Nearmy/Getty Images)
It’s an absurdity to think that a smile after the game is a reliable guide to a player’s inner feelings about what just went down anyway. You think it’s impossible for a man to share a joke with a friend while also suffering inner agony over his failure?
For that matter, you think it’s impossible for a man to make a show of how shattered he is – knowing it’s expected of him – while not actually being at all bothered? Come on, now.
We know players hate losing. We know it hurts. It hurts to lose even when you’re not a full-time professional athlete: for those whose hyper-developed competitive drive was a major factor in their rise to the top, the sting must be far worse.
Add to that the fact that extended periods of under-performance threaten not just their reputations, but their livelihoods and their families’ futures, and it seems pretty unlikely that there’s anyone running around the NRL thinking, “Meh, whatever”.
And when all is said and done, why should we take comfort in the misery of men who are, supposedly, on our side? Why is it good to see our men in distress? Why is it bad to see them smile? Why should we find the suggestion that a footballer might have a) friends on other teams; b) the ability to find morsels of happiness in unhappy times; c) a healthy sense of perspective, so offensive?
I gotta say, I just don’t get it. As far as I’m concerned, the more players smile and show friendship after losses – whether they’re from my team or any other – the better.
This world has enough sadness in it – we don’t need to invite any more.
The Barry
Roar Guru
This was a really interesting article I think there is a middle ground. You’re right shaking hands, congratulating your opponent is good sportsmanship and there’s nothing wrong if it’s done with a genuine smile. We don’t want to see players sulking and refusing to acknowledge the other team But I think it stings when you see players cracking up and high fiving opponents immediately after a bad loss...some of that stuff you can save fir the sheds Players never do that after grand final losses or tests or origin. Why? Because those games mean so much to them. So if they are laughing and joking after a club game, it’s fair to assume those games aren’t important to them A lot of us have played footy as well and know what it feels like after a loss - even at local park footy level I often knew my opponents and had played against many of them for years or played with them at club or rep level. As an adult I’d often be playing against someone on Sunday arvo and drinking with them on Sunday night at the Cloey Hotel I was always a good sport, shook hands, said good game, but don’t remember ever feeling like cracking jokes and high fiving in the immediate aftermath
Forty Twenty
Roar Rookie
Where would we be without the viewers declaring how people should react to certain events? They're so good at working out what it means that the armchair Kangaroo court herd were able to draw firm conclusions on Lindy Chamberlains and others guilt by the way they held their mouth when entering the court.
Succhi
Roar Rookie
A good thought provoking article Ben. I agree. After bashing each other, it is nice to show some respect and end the day with a smile. My only worry now is that because it upsets some people, the TV cameras will go looking for a losing team looking like they are enjoying it. When I look back at the times I’ve been in an argument, scrap or fight - it would have been much better for all concerned if we could have shaken hands and laughed afterwards.
Don
Roar Rookie
Cowboys were copping it deluxe when they had 34 put on them in the first half by the Tigers. Calls for Paul Green’s head were widely heard and seen in the media. They somewhat redeemed themselves against Newcastle only to get walloped Parra a week later. Inconsistent and underperforming? Yes. Losing like Brisbane? no. The Broncos have been absolutely spanked by Parra and the Roosters. Just pipped by Manly but then well beaten by the Knights. Then they lost by 18 & 10 points to 2 of only 3 sides that were below them on the ladder. And Brisbane’s historical success and finances will always see them judged to a higher standard anyway.
Paul
Roar Guru
"It’s an absurdity to think that a smile after the game is a reliable guide to a player’s inner feelings about what just went down anyway. " This sentence sums up the situation you describe perfectly, Ben. Personally, I don't give a toss what a player does after the game, by then it's way too late to influence the result. If they can accept a serious loss with grace, humility and even a smile. kudos to them. If they show various sadness emotions, fair enough too. It's what they've done during game time that counts, not what they do afterwards.
Flexis
Roar Rookie
And I was certainly more critical of their on field performance. But I’m not sure it’s exactly a case of job done. As much as I’d love to switch off at 5pm and crack a beer my job doesn’t finish until I’m in the car. The field (in and out of play), training paddock, dressing room and press conference are all part of the footballers role. And honestly I don’t think most people have particularly high standards once the final whistle is blown. So the Broncos did pretty well to not meet them on that occasion.
Ben Pobjie
Expert
Well, now, here's the thing: if there's no heart in the performance, then criticise that. If they suck on the field, say so. But the problem is with what they did during the game, not what they did after it.
Dayer
Roar Rookie
why is the media and people always picking on the broncos when the cowboys, titans and bulldogs with all their "experience and older" players are no better than the Bronx. i have read many responses from people who said that the Broncos have lost this or that player and yet the cowboys with the former Bronx player McGuire that some media and people raved about is not doing any better with all the top "experience older" players at the cowboys. leave the Bronx alone Bronx 2023 champions
Flexis
Roar Rookie
Agree in some part. But I think the particular game that inspired this article doesn’t fall into the category of (as you put it) a battle for an hour and a half. There was no heart in that performance at all. While it didn’t really bother me too much I think some of the criticism was warranted.
mushi
Roar Guru
Nice Ben. How often have we heard after a suicide of the happy go lucky person battling depression behind the smiles. Or people cracking jokes about their terminal disease. Everyone's got different coping mechanisms. Now I understand the fan's perspective here - the 6th consecutive loss of a rugby league game against the backdrop of a pandemic should be taken far more seriously than the decision to end one's life, or the news that the deadline on your mortality has been moved forward. But, we need to accept that the players are living in the moment and need some time to realise how much more serious this situation is.
Gray-Hand
Roar Rookie
And apart from anything else - never, never, never let the other side see you hurting. That’s basic sports psychology.
JOHN ALLAN
Guest
Agree. Heaps of players have played with at least 2 clubs & apart from "the rep connection" probably retain a connection with ex teammates who they may only see once a year. It's an opportunity for a "catch up" away from the heat of battle. I thought we taught young sportsmen to be gracious in defeat rather than head straight to the sheds barely acknowledging the victors. Criticism of players sharing a laugh post game is unwarranted.
Nat
Roar Rookie
I'm with you Ben. I've got plenty of reasons to throw stones at my team this year but that isn't one of them. All these players have a connection somehow, whether that's school boys, club mates or rep teams - especially in the Qld contingent. I'm not going to waste my barbs on the 10m after the game when I've got the previous 80m to load up on.
Superspud
Roar Rookie
The problem is that fans expect players to be as passionate about the club as they are. Players do this as a job they come and go some stay longer than others. It is the fans who have the life sentence. I really like players interacting after the game. I am always intrigued by who talks to who. As for the Broncos tears a week after the criticism they got for laughing just six days before, please!! There is enough scripted reality on TV already.
Rubbish Surf 69
Roar Rookie
Crying after any old loss is certainly not necessary, but cackling aloud after losing five on the trot when a club is clearly in the nadir of its existence and the loss comes against maybe the worst team of the past ten years is understandably hard for some fans to take. Fair points in your article, a good attitude is extremely important in any area of life, but it’s not all black and white. Like any issue in the game of NRL often the players seem to forget there’s a thousand cameras and a million more blood thirsty journalists scrapping for headlines.
jimmmy
Roar Rookie
Like everything the devil is in the detail. A smile and a pat on the back , sure that's fine. But telling funny stories from the last off season , nah. Time and place . As to why we expect men on our side to be distressed after a loss, well it's cause we are distressed. Misery loves company. People invest a lot of time , money , and emotion into sporting teams. It means something to them. Losses hurt. If they didn't professional sport would fold tomorrow. Good game mate , then look as if your dog just died. That's how I take a loss.
Duncan Smith
Roar Guru
Well said and I think you've got it right.