How dare Port keep winning?

Dave Webb Roar Pro

By , 26 Apr 2013 Dave Webb is a Roar Pro

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    Power players Kane Mitchell, Justin Westhoff, Matthew Lobbe, Oliver Wines and Jackson Trengove celebrate their win during the match between Port Adelaide Power and the Adelaide Crows. (Photo: James Elsby/AFL Media)

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    It’s about time that Port Adelaide stopped mucking around and started playing mediocre losing football again; this winning malarkey is making my week unbearable.

    It’s like a football version of Chinese water torture.

    Drip, Port hasn’t played anybody good yet. Drip, the Crows didn’t play very well. Drip, The draw is in Port Adelaide’s favour. Drip, it’s only a honeymoon period.

    Then the weekend arrives and Ken Hinckley prepares his team of youngsters and they go out, collectively wipe the water from my forehead and strap me to the bed so the drips can come again.

    The temerity of the team from Alberton to play attractive attacking football is unbelievable.

    They clearly have no regard for the fact that Port fans had grown accustomed to watching a team that promised so much in 2007 only to capitulate and give up leads in the third quarter and generously allow much needed wins to teams like Richmond, Gold Coast and GWS.

    This season the Power are selfishly beating the new boys in the AFL, destroying the morale of Melbourne FC and playing well in the third term of the showdown. This kind of anti-social behaviour is unacceptable.

    The Port Adelaide fans are also to blame for this current state of affairs at Alberton.

    The club is fast approaching 40,000 members for the first time as the AFL incarnation of Port.

    This is causing all sorts of issues, as there is no longer an excuse for low crowd numbers at footy park. Every new membership is a nail in the coffin of an already struggling tarpaulin industry.

    Also it makes people that support the Crows very grumpy, this means that all the fun banter has stopped.

    Last season was hilarious, week after week of good-natured ribbing from the West Lakes faithful. On the lead up to the showdown the Adelaide Football Club was genuinely funny, posting on twitter that Port fans should be aware that traffic would be heavier as more people would be at the game, using the hashtag #notarps.

    Being an avid tweep I decided to get my own back the following week when the Crows fans sensibly headed for cover during the inclement weather.

    I suggested that AFC #getsometarps. The disgracefully good form of Port Adelaide let to a rather terse reply from their official account.

    Kane Cornes is another footballer that has let standards slip this year. The fact that he celebrates his 250th game, for a team that his father publicly dislikes is quite frankly Oedipal.

    It is lack of parental respect that causes most of the problems in society.

    Robbie Gray should have stayed injured for longer, and now Paul Stewart has dared to put his hand up and declare himself fit. If they keep this up Port Adelaide will have depth to their squad, which is a chilling thought.

    If the mob from Alberton insist on making a mockery of the status quo of football then the unthinkable could happen. I don’t want to live in a world where Port Adelaide start a season 5-0 let alone make finals.

    (NB: Clearly my tongue is firmly in my cheek, mark the date. I’m officially tipping Port to make the eight.)

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