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With a new season of winter football codes just around the corner it is time that we honour those brave men and women who are fighting the good fight, doing their best to banish the evils of all the other codes to the history books where they belong so the greatest code of all can thrive and flourish as it deserves.
The great warriors of our time, toiling to eliminate all they deem unpure.
They work tirelessly and in the face of staunch but unfair criticism by dual code apologists who prefer to watch and enjoy their own code rather than attack the others, perpetuating the shameful notion that more than one sport can exist.
The warriors’ fingers are raw from hours of typing; like their sporting heroes they endure the pain for the good of the game.
Some ponder whether they have jobs, whilst our noble warriors rightfully rebuke that winning the battle between codes is their real lifes work.
Their battlefields do not inspire nor interest those outside, but to the hard-working code warriors, it doesn’t matter.
The war they dedicate themselves to is overdone, tedious and banal yet so strong are they of spirit this does not deter them.
The pettiness and petulance of their arguments only further drives them to work harder to eradicate the other codes through the power of obnoxious indignance.
They are to be admired for their absolute loyalty to the cause in the face of overwhelming apathy from the greater sporting public.
The majority just don’t understand how abhorrent it is to witness people be entertained and enthralled by something other than the greatest code of all. It’s a travesty and the warriors are to be thanked for stamping it out.
It is bittersweet to announce then, that the war is over. Children go back to your parents, your goal has been achieved. The numbers have been crunched and you win; your code is the greatest of all.
All others will meekly grovel at the feet of your armies as their fans migrate in droves to the one true code, your code.
You’re right, as you always knew you were.
It’s almost time for a brand new 2014 season of winter football codes, hopefully one that can be free of the Code Wars. It is time for you glorious code warriors to step outside, bask in the glow of your victory and let the adults enjoy their sport.
If you’re the type who enjoys smiling, you can read more at Hoss’ blog or on Twitter @The_Hoss12
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