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Old Roarer Rex's guide to beating the All Blacks

Monty new author
Roar Rookie
12th April, 2014
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Monty new author
Roar Rookie
12th April, 2014
110
2941 Reads

Rex is the oldest Roarer known to man. He saw the great ones: Clive Churchill, Gus Risman and Puig Aubert. And when I asked him the other day how the Wallabies could defeat the All Blacks, he winced.

“The only way we’ll beat them this year is if we tie their bootlaces together,” said Rex.

Why is he so gloomy about the Wallabies’ chances?

“I’ve been watching the S15 games live, here and in NZ, and on TV,” Rex began. “We’ve finished eight rounds in the comp, so I’ve had a good look at who’s who in New Zealand rugby this season.

“What I did then was make a list of the players Steve Hansen and the other selectors may well have pencilled in as possibles, probables and definites.

“Here’s my expanded list which is certain to differ from Steve’s as well as that of many people on this forum.

“In no particular order I have Jane, Lam, Perenara, J. Savea, C. Smith, A. Smith, B. Smith, Barrett, Manu, Fekitoa, Sopoaga, A.Taylor, Vito, Leiua, Ellis, Osborne, Hoeata, Ripia, Tameifuna, Anscombe, Freuan, Carter, McCaw, Dagg, Crotty, Crockett, Flynn, B. Franks, O. Franks, Read, T. Taylor, two Whitelocks, Afeaki, Cane, Cruden, Kerr-Barlow, Nanai-Williams, Messam, Retallick, Halai, Luatua, Nonu, Piutau, Faumuina, Woodcock. That’s 46 names in all.

“Now, before Roarers start screaming about so-and-so who could never ever be an All Black, perhaps because he’s not talented enough or couldn’t legally play for New Zealand, let me explain that I’m not suggesting all of them are quality enough to wear the black jersey.

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“But I am suggesting that all of them are quality. And if you choose 15 guys from that list, you end up with 31 men who won’t make the run-on team but are, in my estimation, fine rugby players.

” However, when I try to make up a list of 46 quality Australian players, I have great trouble. Indeed, I doubt that a couple of the (probable) 15 Wallaby starters are of sufficient Test standard anyway. So much for relative depth.

“As for comparing the two probable starting teams, I believe the All Blacks will have a stronger scrum and more penetrative backs than we will. And when they play the Boks, I believe they’ll have faster forwards and, again, more penetrative backs.”

So there it is, folks, one man’s take.

Personally, I think we can do a little better against the All Blacks than Rex figures. But I’d feel more confident if we could do as he suggests and tie their bootlaces together.

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