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Try to stay calm, football fans, because tonight is the first game of The Chase – and presumably the most thrilling finish in A-League history.
It was interesting to watch Bert van Marwijk’s first press conference as Socceroos coach yesterday – and a big thanks to Football Federation Australia for streaming it live – because it was an exercise in hearing from a man who cares about football, and football only.
Van Marwijk said all the right things about the task ahead of him in Russia, not least about qualifying for the second round, and he paid short shrift to any trivial questions thrown his way.
He even seemed to have the FFA second-guessing the prospect of a farewell encounter, telling the assembled media he preferred training to friendlies.
And he dead-batted a question about whether he’d like to be referred to as “Aussie Bert” – shrugging his shoulders and looking suitably baffled – before replying curtly that he would answer “one time” a question about how to pronounce his surname.
The uproar over those questions – asked by an ABC sports reporter, according to some quick-to-anger Twitter sleuths – says much about where football fans in Australia would like the game to be.
And the fact it was asked by a sports reporter from the national broadcaster says much about where the game actually is.
We would all like football to be taken more seriously in Australia – and in van Marwijk, the Socceroos have clearly got the right man for that particular job.
But in launching a crusade against a reporter who happened to ask a couple of inane questions, some football fans – not for the first time – underscored just how insecure we collectively are about the game’s overall standing.
Which brings us, in a roundabout way, to the way sports are being marketed in this country.
An American friend of mine recently moved to town, and to show her a quintessential slice of Australia, last week my fiancée and I took her to a Big Bash League game.
I know, I know… hopefully I don’t end up on Malcolm Conn’s Christmas card list!
And while the cricket itself was entertaining enough, the experience of being there was sheer torture – all screaming kids and bucket-wearing adults and music blaring at a billion decibels.
At one point a fielder dropped a catch in the deep when it looked like he hadn’t noticed the ball had been smashed in his direction – not surprisingly since there was still music blasting over the PA system when the ball was bowled.
It seemed an apt metaphor for the BBL as a whole – great for small children, fast food addicts and anyone with the attention span of a goldfish, but not so enjoyable if you happen to want to watch some actual cricket.
So let’s cut to The Chase. Naff nonsense or inspired sports marketing?
We see a lot of sports marketing these days – I’m tempted to call it ‘sportsing’ – and mostly it seems dreamt up by faceless employees with a Bachelor of Business and a deep-seated hatred of genuine sporting contests.
And when you’re trying to justify drawing a salary from a competition that should arguably sell itself, perhaps it’s no surprise to see a few of the zanier ideas sneak through the sign-off process.
But I just wonder if, were they offered the chance again, FFA would announce The Chase amidst the current football climate.
Not because making the ten A-League clubs all face each other once over the final nine rounds of the season is an inherently bad idea.
But mainly because, aside from adding nothing more than a bizarre name to the final third of the season, this “thrilling new twist to the draw” is something that should have been done since Season 1.
Being an armchair critic might be the easiest job in the world – I should know – but the FFA could learn something from Bert van Marwijk.
Like maybe, just for once, concentrating on the football?