There are two things of interest on television tonight: the Royal Wedding, and the AFL. One is a world-changing event, surrounded by time-hallowed traditions, and watched by millions of devotees the world over. The other is a couple of toffs getting hitched.
Obviously, the timing of these two events has caused some consternation amongst whoever the people are whose job it is to become consternated at televisual timetables.
For instance, as this article on TV Tonight notes, “Coverage of the Royal Wedding itself will begin at 4pm on Seven, but in AFL states it will be on 7TWO due to match commitments”.
Obviously an event of such world-shattering importance should be sanctified in poetry and song, and some people might be interested in the royal wedding as well.
Therefore, I have taken the liberty of penning the following summary of the events as they will eventually eventuate. It is true that discerning readers may find some disparity between the poem and reality, but if that is the case, then it is undoubtedly reality that is at fault.
Big shindig. Royal wedding.
PMs in three-piece. Queens in crowns.
Down the streets of London heading
Stars and starlets, glitzy gowns.
Bigger shindig. AFL.
Boofy men run on the ground.
Crowd roars. One thousand voices swell
And fill the stadium with sound.
Westminster. Choir voices, pure
Fill God’s chapel with their verses
While “OOH YAH BASTARD” doth abjure,
One side cheers. The other curses.
London. Service. Bishop preaches.
Sydney. Players do their thing.
London. Poetry and speeches.
Sydney
GOOOOOOOAL…
A wedding ring!
Great wonder at the final score,
Tears, cheers, cries, shouts, worldwide acclaim -
William v Kate – a brilliant draw!
Now let us sing:
GOD SAVE OUR GLORIOUS FOOTY GAME.
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April 29th 2011 @ 7:21pm
boes said | April 29th 2011 @ 7:21pm | Report comment
The opening to this article….
“There are two things of interest on television tonight: the Royal Wedding, and the AFL.”
The way I count it that only makes one….and it starts with an A, ends in an L and has an F in the middle.
Nice piece of writing TimT.
April 29th 2011 @ 7:33pm
Titus said | April 29th 2011 @ 7:33pm | Report comment
Certainly looks like the Swans fans are at home watching the wedding.
May 1st 2011 @ 10:37pm
woodsman said | May 1st 2011 @ 10:37pm | Report comment
A ‘mere’ 28,000- bloody awesome turnout with mediocre weather as well.
April 29th 2011 @ 8:08pm
UK Steve said | April 29th 2011 @ 8:08pm | Report comment
The crowd doesn’t look too bad considering the atrocious weather. Depends what you are comparing it to I guess. Compared to the NRL, it’s pretty good. Compared to the A League it’s spectacular.
April 29th 2011 @ 8:45pm
Titus said | April 29th 2011 @ 8:45pm | Report comment
At least the Carlton fans turned up.
April 30th 2011 @ 8:48pm
banaba said | April 30th 2011 @ 8:48pm | Report comment
over 28,000 at the Swans game in atrocious conditions (two mighty NRL foundation teams – rabbitohs vs cronulla got 9,000), gee, if it would have been an aleague SOCCER game it would have been cancelled !!
April 30th 2011 @ 8:51pm
Titus said | April 30th 2011 @ 8:51pm | Report comment
Over 250 000 registered Football players in NSW.
I still couldn’t figure out for the life of me why the Swans fans kept cheering for Carlton.
27 000 watching on Primetime Channel 7 on a Friday night. Who is paying channel 7 to show this ratings loser?
April 30th 2011 @ 9:02pm
Australian Football said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:02pm | Report comment
Yep, those Swans fans will cheer everyone on except the Swans.
April 30th 2011 @ 9:16pm
The_Wookie said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:16pm | Report comment
for a start, it was live on the digital channel not the main, the same as it was in brisbane. Further, it rated more than 500k nationally.Not bad up against the wedding on every other channel
April 30th 2011 @ 9:23pm
Titus said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:23pm | Report comment
It was on 7′s main channel, I live in Sydney, I watched it.
of those 500 000, >450 000 were in Vic/WA/SA
April 30th 2011 @ 9:25pm
The_Wookie said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:25pm | Report comment
hmm then i stand corrected. however, 500k nationally is still passable for a friday night match under normal circumstances.
April 30th 2011 @ 9:32pm
Titus said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:32pm | Report comment
Ok, it was 7mate. Who doesn’t have HD these days anyway?
April 30th 2011 @ 9:38pm
The_Wookie said | April 30th 2011 @ 9:38pm | Report comment
i withdraw my correction!
May 1st 2011 @ 12:01am
Working Class Rugger said | May 1st 2011 @ 12:01am | Report comment
‘ Over 250 000 registered Football players in NSW.’
Anyone that actually believes that figures has rocks in their head and needs to be assessed asap.
May 1st 2011 @ 12:06am
Titus said | May 1st 2011 @ 12:06am | Report comment
“It is a popular participation and spectator sport in New South Wales and the state historically has had a large influence on association football in Australia. It has the most registered football players in the country, with over 200,000 registered FNSW players and nearly 50,000 Northern NSW players, compared with around 150,000 in other states combined.[1]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_football_in_New_South_Wales#cite_note-0
May 1st 2011 @ 12:24am
Working Class Rugger said | May 1st 2011 @ 12:24am | Report comment
Thought it was referring to AFL participation. Soccer a different story all together.
April 30th 2011 @ 11:54pm
Daniel Robinson said | April 30th 2011 @ 11:54pm | Report comment
over 2 billion people watched one of those events, either AFL has a clandestine following of billions or the royal wedding was more popular then one tended to believe.
May 1st 2011 @ 8:39am
The Cattery said | May 1st 2011 @ 8:39am | Report comment
Long may she reign over us.
May 1st 2011 @ 10:38am
TimT said | May 1st 2011 @ 10:38am | Report comment
Or, in the case of Melbourne weather, long to rain over us.
May 1st 2011 @ 9:51am
TimT said | May 1st 2011 @ 9:51am | Report comment
The question obviously is, why couldn’t the royals have seen fit to combine the best of both worlds and got married at the MCG in between quarters?
Either that or the footy game could have been played out at Westminster Cathedral, with the backing of all those choir boys, Anglican archbishops, etc.
Thanks for the comments guys