- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
Melbourne Heart's Aziz Behich and Victory's Tom Pondeljak
This major road which bisects Melbourne’s CBD from Etihad Stadium has seen Victory fans erecting crucifixes in preparation for tonight’s epic derby between Melbourne Victory and Melbourne Heart. These fans see Melbourne Heart as an illegitimate sect that has to be suppressed like the slave revolts of Ancient Rome.
Now, A-League fans are pretty familiar with the hubris of Victory fans, but let’s investigate this legitimacy issue a bit further.
In the beginning, the PFA created the idea of the A-League. They went to the FFA and sagely proposed she deliver twin brothers for Australia’s two major population centres.
The FFA rejected the PFA’s advice. Instead, she chose to conceive a solitary child for both Melbourne & Sydney. She wanted to spoil her beloved children, to give them every chance to grow fat and healthy on these huge markets for five years without the competition.
When it came to find the father of the Melbourne A-League club, the FFA lifted her skirt and flirted with three suitors.
Tony Ising, dressed in navy blue, sold the vision and laid on the charm. The FFA blushed, her eyes dilated and she quivered in anticipation. A passionate tryst ensued and a child, Melbourne Victory, was born.
A significant chunk of Melbourne’s starved football community became smitten and for five years they helped grow a football empire. The FFA was pleased. Her Melbourne child was strong and healthy, but for the A-League to grow and improve Victory needed competition.
Surely, she thought, there must be fans in Melbourne who had not jumped on the Victory bandwagon. So, she put her shortest skirt back on and went looking for a new father. And as a result, Melbourne Heart was born.
So there we have it, two bastard children, as illegitimate as each other, competing in the A-League’s only legitimate derby.
Victory, the obese, spoiled older child, versus Heart, the scrawnier, better natured little brother.
Led by CEO Scott Munn, Melbourne Heart has made every effort to see that they become a significant football force to rival Victory. Getting there will not be easy, but with the club setting up community football programs around Victoria and by having an open relationship with their supporters, the club is giving itself every opportunity to survive and grow. This has resulted in Heart’s fans reciprocating their support for Scott Munn.
If Heart’s revolt does valiantly fail, this will be the scene played outside Etihad Stadium on Wurundjeri Way.
He might not be as handsome as old Kirk, but Scott Munn has become the A-League’s Spartacus.
The Mug’s Guide To The Melbourne Derby
After two matches both teams are winless. There is a simple explanation for this stat. – John van’t Schip invited Mehmet Durakovic to spend some time with him in an Amsterdam “Coffee” Shop during the pre-season.
John then proceeded to convince Mehmet that the secret to success in the A-League was to play any player named Thompson in the wrong position. Matt’s disastrous defending and Archie firing blanks should finally force them to change their errant thoughts.
So Victory should play a 4-2-3-1 with Archie up front, Kewell behind him, Cernak and Rojas providing the width. Carlos Hernandez will start on the bench and come on as an impact player.
Meanwhile I expect Heart to play a 4-3-3 with Colosimo next to Good in middle of defence. A midfield of Thompson, Shroj, Hoffman and a front 3 of William,Terra and Dugandzic. Maycon will be dropped to the bench and Mate reinstated to the wide attacking position he played against the Jets.
If both managers follow these instructions, the match will finish in a 2-2 draw. If they don’t, they will lead their team to certain defeat.
Are you the ultimate team manager? Pick your own superstar team and go head to head with other football fans for glory and cash prizes on Draftstars. Imagine what you could be buying instead. Set a deposit limit.