When the mendacious, whiny, thin-skinned bag of breeze officially became Australia’s 44th Test captain, I desperately needed a dose of escapism.
Previously, as a degenerate, a dose of escapism would materialise with the most lethal liquor I could possess. In these more modest days of maturity, tapping away on my laptop is my newfound source of catharsis.
So, instead of wallowing in Australia’s Indian nightmare, I envisaged cricket in the year 2025.
At the turn of the 21st century, who could have predicted the invention of the T20 format? Or that the insanely popular ODI product would be on life support only a decade later?
Or that England would actually have a period of Ashes domination?
Anyway, here’s my cricket wish list by 2025, when Shane Watson (hopefully) would have long been blotted from my memory.
More Test countries
Why does the Test format have to be so rigid? Can’t cricket be more inclusive? I know, I know, we don’t want lopsided laborious matches. And god forbid we skew statistics, which are sacrosanct in cricket lore.
But the top nations don’t play Bangladesh or Zimbabwe very often anyway. Australia last played Bangladesh in 2006 and haven’t played Zimbabwe in a decade.
Surely, Ireland, Afghanistan and probably even the UAE could emerge as credible Test playing nations within a decade.
And couldn’t they hone their talents among themselves and the lower tier of Test nations such as Bangladesh, Zimbabwe, New Zealand and the West Indies?
Test cricket would benefit from these countries honing their craft, with the elite talent primary pitted against each other. Cricket needs to start to embrace the frontiers and rid itself from its bourgeoisie snobbery.
Major events played beyond the Test world
I’m still on my high horse regarding frontiers. I’ve spent the past 12 months following cricket in non-traditional playing countries and have witnessed firsthand the rapid growth of the sport.
Why not showcase cricket’s elite to the curious throng?
Cricket’s T20 World Cup should at some stage be hosted in the US, in a bid to light a fuse in the country’s interest in a similar fashion to soccer’s USA ’94 World Cup.
Wouldn’t cricket’s madcap format at least grip a slice of the mainstream American sporting consciousness?
How about staging a major tournament in China? China’s government is apparently keen on developing its cricket, so it’s at least not such a crackpot scheme, right?
Sure, maybe it is too financially unviable and these fledgling cricket countries lack suitable infrastructure to sustain arduous major events, but why can’t some world cup matches or even a one-off Test be played beyond cricket’s spoilt ten?
Do you know that Singapore is soon set to boast a 55,000 capacity major stadium that will host matches of the Rugby World Cup ’19?
Or that Malaysia previously has petitioned Pakistan to base itself in the South-East Asian country because it boasts competent facilities? There is so much untapped potential to grow the game if cricket’s elite were not so obtuse.
ODIs not extinct
I am probably only about one of 46 people who still care about the 50-over game. And I’m probably part of a group of about six that prefer it to T20.
A decade ago it embodied cricket’s exciting alter-ego. Now, it’s becoming a cricket relic, a 30-year fad that has made way to a more sleek, exciting and most importantly, shorter product.
Test cricket will always be treasured by the purists and T20 seems destined to stay around for those bereft of concentration. I hope ODI cricket is not blotted from existence by 2025.
I still believe the world cup is an esteemed and iconic cricket event. One can’t flush a forty-year product down the toilet.
But, there is no doubt there are too many meaningless and meandering series. And the middle overs – 20-40 – still blight the format despite many a tinkering.
Unfortunately, I’m not smart enough to solve the problems. Hopefully, some bright heads will resuscitate the 50-over product before it becomes extinct.
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