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Arrivederci Quade

Quade Cooper has made himself available for the Australian Sevens side. (AFP PHOTO / Michael Bradley)
Roar Guru
8th September, 2013
56
2594 Reads

I just don’t get the Australian rugby public’s fascination with Quade. What do they see which I don’t in either his personal attributes or his on-field performance?

It won’t come as a real surprise, but I am not terribly fond of Quade. Not in the sense that I wish him any personal harm or illness, more in the sense I don’t think he is somebody I would necessarily befriend.

What is this antipathy based on? Well for a number of incidents and his behaviour and conduct in the last few years – some rugby related, some not – without the mitigation of unforgettable on-field performances.

A quick summary shows us that Quade burst on to the Super and international scene in 2007 and 2008 respectively and he excited all and sundry with his flamboyant, unique and exciting style.

The rugby public, hankering for the golden days of Stephen Larkham and company, soon adopted him and his other precocious friends as the next golden generation of Australian rugby, not without some justification.

And then, for whatever reason, it all turned to custard.

Firstly, there was the infamous laptop incident.

I don’t know the details and it probably made good news on a slow day. I would imagine it also got a lot more mileage than it deserved. But it was a warning, and where there is smoke, you know the rest.

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Then came the first inkling there were serious deficiencies in both his willingness to tackle and the quality of his tackling. Surprising really because he is an impressive physical specimen.

Of the two, the main worry was his reluctance to do so, something he partly admitted to in a recent article in a vain attempt to convince us it was all behind him and he is now a fearsome tackling (and boxing) machine.

Still waiting for evidence of this and I won’t hold my breath.

Now rugby is a rough contact sport with very little room to hide when your team is under pressure, so I found it very surprising when teams like the Reds were happy to reorganise their back line to minimise the potential damage.

I don’t buy the spin that it was for the purpose of giving him better opportunities to counter attack. But I did accept the attacking benefits and x-factor he brought made it worth the gamble.

Unfortunately at international level the better and more dominant teams (All Blacks in particular) started smelling blood and targeting Quade as the weak link in the Aussie backline, and at that point it started becoming an issue.

The next piece of the puzzle absolutely astounds me to this day.

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Having never displayed any personal aggression or even courage in personally confronting opponents, suddenly he saw himself as the team enforcer and decided to make a name for himself by repeatedly taking cheap shots at arguably one of the toughest people in the game and an icon in his original homeland, Richie McCaw.

Initially he was probably egged on to have a crack or was given some bad advice by ‘mates’. Then he compounded the matter by challenging the New Zealand public in various TV interviews and smirkingly stating he thoroughly enjoyed the notoriety of being New Zealand’s Public Enemy No. 1 prior to the World Cup.

That is when I seriously started questioning his intelligence, and also the intelligence of a certain media personality who went on record stating this was a very good way to ‘get under the ABs skin’.

It really worked a treat!

The rest is well documented, and although his continuous booing to this day is getting tiresome, his reluctance to ever acknowledge he was at fault doesn’t help.

Equally astounding was the Australian public’s surprise and outrage at the booing. It was totally predictable, and if you dish it out be tough enough to take it.

Then the wheels really came off.

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Following his substandard performance at the World Cup, his injury and failure to recapture his old sparkle and fizz, he responded at his non-selection for the national team by publicly attacking his coach, the ARU and by implication (with his toxic environment comment) his teammates.

In this he was also abetted by well-known rugby media personalities who use poor (no so bright) Quade to boost ratings and advance their own agendas.

None of his teammates came out in support. At that point Quade should have been booted out, never to grace the gold jumper again. This would have happened in most other countries.

Instead, there was a public outcry and a concerted effort to undermine the national coach (with the same well known rugby personalities leading the charge), and the ARU playing tough (joke) by slapping a fine on Quade and subsequently offering him a new contract.

And when the national coach didn’t pick him for obvious reasons, becoming clear belatedly, accusations were leveled at Robbie Deans of a personal vendetta against poor rehabilitated Quade, performance issues never entering the fray.

Deans refused to enter into a slanging match, choosing instead to keep his council, and behave in an adult and dignified manner.

He is now gone and we have entered a new era.

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And so we come to the present. Quade is shielded from his real nemesis (the All Blacks) by the new coach and his biggest ex-supporter, who instead blooded a rookie in Quade’s position to take the heat.

To his credit, Matt Toomua put in two workmanlike and competent performances, and showed marked improvement in his second appearance.

Quade was brought in for a couple of ineffectual cameo appearances. No howlers but nothing to excite either.

And then we come to last Saturday’s debacle.

Quade was selected for his home return at his fortress, cast as the returning prodigal son to revive the Wallaby fortunes.

He hogged the limelight and generated an overhyped collection of headlines, see a collection below I found in just two publications:

“Let’s get ready to rumble. Revitalised Quade happy to take one for the team”
“Boks braced for Quade’s run-and-stun game”
“Changed Quade to bamboozle Boks”

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Yeah right, will people ever learn?

And before I am told that the forwards didn’t front up and there was no little quality ball, I am aware of that. But what little ball he got he achieved nothing with, he did not challenge the line (which would have been painful) and the little chicken dance he perfected before chucking the ball to all points of the compass is old hat.

He should be, after all, one of the joint leaders of this team with 41 Tests and putting his body on the line.

I laughed when Greg Martin, his biggest supporter, felt it necessary on some occasions to state retrospectively “Quade made that tackle” when the game moved on. Is that worthy of a special mention?

In summary and for the record, Quade has not properly apologized for his appalling public outburst last year, mumbled statements of how he wants to do it for the boys, how much he values the jersey and how he is all grown up are just window dressing.

He needs to apologise unreservedly to his ex-coach and teammates for his toxic statements and really prove he has grown up.

The ARU don’t need an apology, seeing they rushed in to offer him a new contract.

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As regards to his Wallaby future, I would dump him for good. After 41 Tests, his bad injury record and inability to hold his own in a defensive line make him an unnecessary luxury and liability.

I have not seen a Dan Carter/Aaron Cruden performance from him yet, nor do I expect to.

At the very best he is an adequate Super flyhalf, with the odd touch of brilliance. A world class or even a good international flyhalf he is not, nor will he ever be.

Time to nurture and grow Toomua and Bernard Foley who, although not Carters or Larkhams, offer a much better future investment as competent and potentially very good fly halves.

Otherwise we will still be waiting for Cooper to bamboozle somebody in a year’s time and beyond.

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