The mascot forms an integral part of a club’s branding. The mascot is usually associated with the history of the club, although sometimes it’s just a random phrase that stuck.
Dressing up as a mascot should insight fear or at least awe. However, there are a few mascots that simply aren’t intimidating.
Given Australia is home to a number of deadly animals, of which many individuals are genuinely afraid of, the number of uninspired mascots out there is strange.
Not all mascots need to be animals either – but they should be formidable. Yet some mascots are downright dull, so let’s add a bit of spice.
I am not concerned with history in my alternative mascot suggestions – only a stronger symbol for the team.
The Gold Coast Suns
Choosing our yellow friend in the sky wasn’t all that imposing – yes it is a bit hot, but as many games are played at nighttime, it lends itself to a fair bit of banter. And really, how does one draw qualities from the Sun?
Alternatives
Sharks: Yes, there is an NRL team at Cronulla, but that doesn’t concern the Tigers. Being so closely associated with the beach, it would have been a fitting name. Sharks are one of the ocean’s most feared predators – a mascot of immense pride.
Pirates: Amusing and bloodthirsty. What more could one want to model their team on? Fight until the end to and for greater glory – the best treasure of all being the premiership.
The Power
All imposing until a blackout occurs – the exact critique this club and its supports have to deal with when they lose.
Alternatives
Wolves: Wolves are a super animal, both full of individual courage but also capable of working collaboratively. A cool mascot to model a team on.
Tanks: One of the most imposing war machines would be a great moniker for a team. The tanks would now also cross the bridge into South Australia’s new battleground. A magnificent spectacle.
The Dockers
I understand the history, but being associated with the docks and all they could think of was naming the workers? Boring.
Alternatives
Battleships: Still aligned with the docks and immensely powerful. The king of ships would fit right into the naval theme. Dreadnought could also work.
Fanatics: Footy basically is a cult in Western Australia, and this would add to their passion. Being fanatical about your team is nothing to be ashamed of and adds a big of edge.
The Swans
Sure swans are known to be aggressive, but they aren’t that fearsome.
Alternatives
Bloods: This was the Swans original moniker, or more accurately the Blood-stained angels, hence their white and red colours. Shows a bit of grit and determination.
Funnel-webs: One of the most dangerous creatures in the world would be a worthy name. They would be able to poison their enemies before delivering the final blow. The spider’s infamous aggression would not have gone astray in their final round.
The Blues
Naming yourself after the navy is not as imposing as one would think.
Alternatives
Bulls: An animal of rage and just a big, scary, mean animal. Perfect team mascot. Nice and short.
Soldiers: Men fighting together to win and survive, basically embodies football. Mick Malthouse would love the discipline too.
The Giants
While a Giant is big and can be mean, it just doesn’t sit right with me.
Alternatives
Gladiators: Attempts to call their home stadium ‘The Colosseum’ would work much better with this name. Fighting against all odds seems to be what the club has been set up to do, too.
Snakes: Could change their name to the Greater Western Snakes. At least somewhat shorter. Snakes are incredibly agile and can take on prey much bigger then them – like a giant.
So there is is Roarers, alternative mascots for clubs that weren’t daring enough to come up with something that would grab attention, and for better branding and symbolism of their club.
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