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In another pseudo-exclusive from The Roar, we can reveal that Cronulla are planning to conduct a thorough self-assessment of governance at season’s end in the wake of their uncharacteristic run of seven wins in eight matches.
Club bosses are growing increasingly concerned with what they describe as “lingering performance irregularities”, with many condemning certain pockets of the administration for failing to deliver the requisite destabilisation demanded by a Sharks hierarchy.
After an orderly opening to the season with four straight losses, the club now sits in fifth spot on the ladder and in the dangerous position of being under serious threat of a finals berth.
Initially, the board were prepared to treat the revival like Coke Life and assume it will eventually go away, but after Lyall Gorman’s disastrous failure to right the ship with the Fifita bungle resulted in the team defeating the Bulldogs at Belmore, alarm bells began to ring.
Then when coach Shane Flanagan claimed the weekend’s win over the Warriors was “the best defensive effort of the season”, it had become apparent the club had somehow found their way to uncharted and horribly calm waters.
Aware the front office’s dysfunction had grown dysfunctional, the board called a snap meeting and came to the conclusion that it was time to run the rule over themselves to ascertain where everything had gone so terribly right.
Some club officials demanded the review be held immediately, concerned that the sound foundations laid by the supplements scandal were being rapidly eroded beyond repair. Others suggested the appointment of an interim coaching super-duo of Peter Sharp and Stuart Raper to reprise the club’s standards to its unresponsive playing group.
However, the club ultimately decided to opt for familiar practice by vetoing both ideas in favour of dealing with the issue later on, after it’s given the sufficient time required to further fester.
One unnamed board member has described the recent turnaround in fortunes on the field as “completely against club culture”.
“This is tragic. My phone has been running hot. I’ve even had ET offer to be photographed bubbling just to create some unrest.
“We’ve even got a jersey sponsor these days. It’s just not on.
“Keep this up and something silly might happen, like a premiership.”
News of the revival has also made it to NRL headquarters, with David Smith in talks over possible solutions to Cronulla’s unfamiliar prosperity.
Concerned the club’s resurgence could scupper his plans to relocate the franchise to Alice Springs, the game’s head of state has proposed harsh guidelines to be imposed should they not address their in-house issues in quick time.
Smith has urged them to take the lead from market-leading basketcases like Parramatta, even going as far as to remind them of Roy Spagnolo’s services while also tagging their Facebook page with a link to Tony Zappia’s LinkedIn account.
However, Cronulla’s bosses have assured Smith these extreme measures will not be required, confident it has the framework in place to see off the threat of sustained accomplishment.
“Keep the faith, Sharks fans,” said one unnamed director. “A handful of losses and some political infighting is just around the corner.”