Eels fans have been enjoying their most psychologically sound football team in years, one so bulletproof it has shown it can even withstand the commotion generated by the devout idiocy of its own administration.
Yep, the first nine rounds of 2016 been a real rare treat for their people – following a Parramatta team that has been nothing like Parramatta.
But, of course, such a state of rosiness is against the club’s charter, and yesterday came the doozie to restore order.
Fallout from the Parra salary cap scandal
» Why Tuesday was the greatest day in Parra’s recent history
» Parramatta need to bring back The Emperor
» The Parramatta Five win first court battle against NRL
» Press conference: Parra breached the cap by $3 million, players may be investigated
» Parramatta docked 12 points, fined $1 million for salary cap breaches
After weeks of speculation, Todd Greenberg finally told the club to beat it to the bottom of the table by yanking away 12 competition points, thus rendering their title charge withered and close to neutered.
Just to show he wasn’t joking, he also punted five of their dirty bureaucrats and helped himself to a million of their laundered dollars before telling the club to balance the books or play the rest of the year for nix.
After a 6-3 record gave the fans a taste of an unfamiliar sensation of ‘hope’, this news, while not unexpected, was still a thunderous kick to their already-tormented guts. People flushing cute kittens down the lavatory were moved by the cruelty.
I’m not sure what intangible being in the sky pulls the strings of fate that determine rugby league’s cut and thrust, but whatever it is, it either has a crook sense of humour or it lost a packet on the Bulldogs in the 1986 decider.
Somewhere along the line, supporting Parramatta has gone from being a weekend pastime/family tradition/geographical association/lost bet, to just good old fashioned emotional abuse, and frankly, authorities must step in.
Perhaps Eels fans should be forced to move somewhere more humane for some much-needed respite. Might I suggest North Korea.
In Brad Arthur’s illegally constructed 2016 side, they finally saw a team who had conquered the usual psychological impairments brought on by the ghosts of their underwhelming past, one who looked nothing like the afflicted incarnations of the nineties and noughties.
They witnessed palpable change. For example, there was defence.
For this transformation, hearty congrats must go to the prickly coach for his technique. To keep his team focussed amid the dysfunction and factionalism was the work of a man with experience in the field. It’s obvious he’s spent time at Manly.
Congratulations must also go to the players for the way they’ve conducted themselves throughout the rolling imbroglio.
Historically, instead of ignoring controversy, previous playing groups at Parramatta have chosen to ignore other things, such as seven-man overlaps, game plans and the coach. That additional undisclosed $3 million couldn’t have gone to a more deserving bunch of blokes.
So after having their season of promise ripped away like a pair of stripper pants, how does the club react?
Can they bribe Anthony Watmough into retirement to become cap-compliant? Can they make up lost ground to qualify for the finals? The deregistered board members have already begun to fight the charges, but does the NRL accept submissions written in finger paint?
Whatever happens, let us momentarily forget this club circumvented the rules and came up with nothing but a winners cheque from an Auckland touch footy carnival. Let us again think of their people and the familiar sadness they are now enduring.
Now I’m not saying their team were definitely going to win the whole thing – let’s be frank here, God pulls too much enjoyment from the suffering. Besides, the players are unavailable on grand final night on account of a club-arranged members movie function anyway.
But there was reason to believe, and now there’s nothing but despair and the lure of a participation certificate.
If one thing is to be learnt from this whole septic affair, it’s that the mahogany in Parramatta’s boardroom is dangerous and the people who have frequented it are rotten as a result. I wouldn’t go in there in anything but a hazmat suit.
These ‘businessmen’ who have knee-capped the club are so hopelessly toxic and appallingly corrupt, they are destined for federal politics.
Gold Coast don’t get credit for doing too many things right but when it comes to sacking a coach mid-season they are the gold…
1. Tigers earning their stripes The Tigers played Souths last year when the Bunnies were at their very highest point. Tim Sheens coached them…
The St George Illawarra revival is now prompting a question that was on nobody’s radar heading into the 2024 season - can the Dragons…
Who is this team and what have they done with the Dolphins? With Wayne Bennett consigned to his sick bed back in Redcliffe, the…
Benji Marshall is unfazed that Penrith are eyeing Wests Tigers gun Stefano Utoikamanu as a possible replacement for the outgoing James Fisher-Harris. Ahead of…
Friday night’s clash between Parramatta and the Dolphins is likely to be a hot one – and not just because the game is being…
