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If Dane Coles was frustrated or angry at being hooked early in last week’s Test match in Hamilton, he responded in the best possible manner; by keeping his trap shut and pulling off an amazing three-card trick against the Springboks.
It was one thing for Coles to deliver the final ball for three of the All Blacks’ six tries – surely something that no other hooker has done in a Test between top tier nations – but another thing altogether to play a different card each time.
The first, a quick flick on, off the left hand, the second an incisive run into a half-gap, a push through the tackle and a right-handed hook pass, and the third, a long, flat spiral to the loitering Sam Whitelock, enjoying licence to roam free, in his new role as a fledgling loose forward.
This was stunning work; although nothing new for Coles who broke Irish hearts in 2014 when he put Ryan Crotty in at the corner, well beyond the 80th minute. He was in such rare form one imagines that had he been allowed to convert the tries he would have done it with ease – off either foot. Blindfolded.
In truth, Springbok hooker Adriaan Strauss was enjoying a fine match himself, but everything is relative, and Test rugby is all about influencing the match where it really counts – on the scoreboard.
For that matter, the Christchurch scoreboard got a fair work out. A gap of 41 points is an uncommon occurrence in New Zealand versus South Africa rugby history, but is probably a fair indicator of where these sides are right now.
South Africa was by no means poor, but aside from a period of direct play that culminated in Bryan Habana’s well-taken 66th Test try, they were impotent. Their best feature is their line-out, but against this All Blacks side, that only meant parity, and their scrum was a mere shadow of what is expected of a Springboks’ scrum.
Further, the more Test matches they play, the halves pairing of Faf du Plessis and Elton Jantjies are exposed as being shy of Test standard. These Lions cubs that so audaciously lit up Super Rugby, now prone to hesitancy and fumbles that – as everyone knows – are ruthlessly capitalised on by the All Blacks.
If anything, the home side started the match too conservatively, not wanting to make errors which might gift the Springboks a head start and allow them to get their confidence up. But once again we saw how the All Blacks can muddle through periods of the match just like a ‘normal’ rugby side, only to stamp their difference by the ruthlessness in which they sense scoring opportunities and execute them.
Speed, urgency, confidence, precision all combining to deliver a clinical outcome, where oppositions sides who might glance at the scoreboard and feel like they’re still in the game, suddenly find this to be a cruel lie. So while Coles rightly takes accolades for his performance, it was the superb continuity and interplay leading to Ben Smith’s try which was the highlight of the evening, and which summed up what this side is about.
The Wallabies three-card trick was a team affair – bang, bang, bang – three tries within the first 13 minutes, which effectively killed off the contest in Perth.
There was more than a hint of a forward pass in the first; referee Wayne Barnes momentarily hesitating on Michael Hooper’s final delivery to Samu Kerevi, before remembering that he was Wayne Barnes and waving play on.
Dayne Haylett-Petty’s try was a sweet set-piece effort, and then Will Genia, close to Australia’s best for the fourth consecutive match, conjured a great solo effort, disrupting in the midfield, showing great pace on the chase and precision in the finish.
The prevailing wisdom among fans and commentators is that, for all the improvements the Pumas have made in fitness, ball skills and approach to the game, it is the mental aspects which still require attention if they are to cement themselves as a top four power.
And here, once again, there was naivety and fragility; a lack of composure from players in key positions and a failure in decision-making that took the game away from them. Indeed this match was a replica of the world cup semi-final, where Australia scored early, and Argentina went straight into chase mode, only to dig themselves into a deeper hole.
They dominated possession by over two to one, which proved to be a curse rather than a blessing, given their lack of organisation to provide, for the most part, attacks which consisted of nothing more than individuals trying to step themselves through heavy traffic.
Credit here to Australia who came up with the right defensive plan for the night; essentially to come up quickly out wide, while flooding the middle of the field with bodies. Flyhalf Nicolas Sanchez, refusing to kick, became increasingly confused. He was cut off from his outside backs, or else having to take the ball so deep any threat was nullified, while finding his forward runners chopped off at the knees by assertive Wallabies tacklers.
This type of unstructured midfield suited a roving Hooper to a tee, while freshman lock Adam Coleman was at the forefront of the defensive effort, once again enjoying a strong match. He will be glad for the two-week break to allow his cut mouth to properly repair itself.
Wallabies flyhalf, Quade Cooper, had a strange night; two beautiful inside balls for tries but, due to the paucity of possession, mixed with a lot of drifting around the extremities of NIB Stadium, banished from front-line defensive duties, before he copped a yellow card for an untidy tackle with a “yeah, whatever” attitude.
He was however the runaway winner of the night’s ‘irony award’, noting in his halftime interview how the Wallabies were “defending their rings off”, then straight after the break, missing two tackles himself in the lead-up to Santiago Cordero’s try.
The Wallabies got great value from replacement Sean McMahon, who provided the direct, no-nonsense approach so many fans are clamouring for. It was interesting to note how Lopeti Timani, when finally introduced for his debut late in the game, packed down in the scrum at No.6, with McMahon at No.8. but then again, Michael Cheika seems hell-bent on treating his loose forwards as a unit, taking scant notice of jersey numbers or traditional role distinctions.
With David Pocock now to sit out the rest of the Rugby Championship with a broken hand, more will be revealed shortly.
So then, a second win on the trot for the Wallabies; which isn’t far off being called a ‘streak’, although it was another poor night for the ARU bean counters with only 16,000 punters rolling up on what was a pleasant evening for rugby.
Nothing that extending this streak by another eight or ten matches won’t fix.
Both Test matches raised a couple of interesting matters of law to ponder and discuss in the comments section. During the first half in Perth, Nicolas Sanchez kicked for goal from a penalty, with the ball striking the upright and bounding away, going into touch without being touched by any player from either side.
Barnes ruled a throw-in to Australia, however, seeing as the ball was kicked from a penalty, and it went into touch, shouldn’t the throw go to the attacking or non-offending team, just as it would if Sanchez had aimed his kick to touch in the first place?
The second question relates to what constitutes a maul. In Christchurch, referee Angus Gardner was very quick to call any upright contact a maul, just as he and other Australian referees had done during the Super Rugby season.
In Perth however, with one exception, Barnes called these situations as tackles, thus giving the ball carrier time to get to the ground and for the side in possession to recycle and continue playing.
The difference in interpretation was stark. Who is correct here, Gardner or Barnes?
To the NRC and a sunny day in Melbourne which saw the home side take full advantage to beat Brisbane City 46-28. Captain Nic Stirzaker was delighted that, for the first time this season, his side delivered at both ends of the match, and while I was keen afterwards to draw out of him how he saw his one-on-one match-up with Nick Frisby, he was modest and diplomatic enough to suggest that they both played well.
I made it a comfortable points victory for Stirzaker, who is passing cleanly and running with confidence. Meanwhile, in the battle of the young locks, Sam Jeffries, save for dropping off Brisbane No.8 Isreli Naisarani once, again played well, but he was shaded by Lukhan Tui, who looks to have excellent athleticism, ball skills and a hearty motor.
Pleasingly, there were plenty of kids in attendance, courtesy of a sevens tournament running alongside, and it was great to see Stirzaker and others take time after the match to genuinely engage with them, and for Jack Debreczini to take one lucky boy aside for some kick to kick.
The squadron of ball-boys provided great entertainment on the sideline, a kind of ‘Lord of the Flies’ re-enactment as various personalities and power blocs came to the fore. For the lads to whom I promised I would write about them, well here it is, but as the sharpest one observed to his mate, “he didn’t ask us for our names so it won’t be worth reading.” Indeed.
In other matches, NSW Country became the only unbeaten side, too strong for the Rays in Sydney, 36-16, with flanker Sam Figg surely running himself into a Super rugby contract somewhere with another compelling performance.
Amy Perrett showed she is no Super Rugby novelty act, handling the ACT Vikings 24-16 win over the Western Sydney Rams in Canberra with poise and accuracy. The round ended with an exotic 66-36 scoreline, Perth over Queensland Country, who weren’t nearly as bad as the numbers suggest.
Finally, news from Hamilton that the Chiefs stripper scandal still hasn’t gone away, despite a press conference featuring New Zealand Rugby Union boss Steve Tew, designed to draw it to a close. Why all the fuss you might ask? It’s not as if Scarlette, the lady at the centre of events, was a vertically challenged person tossed against a wall for cheap laughs, or the Chiefs’ bus driver got among the action. Oh, hang on…
Perhaps licking someone who “ended up with her legs around my neck” is de rigueur for your average 70 year-old, Hamilton, bus driving, fall-guy? “How was your day at work, love?” “Oh, you know… driven one bus, driven ‘em all.”
One thing is for certain. Mad Monday, or to use the technical term favoured in New Zealand, the end of season p*ss up, is deader than Lady Di; now one of those things parents dare not expose their children to, like Whittaker’s chocolate, or the smalls on the clothes-line of the widower next door, or Rolf Harris.
Now there’s a three-card trick that didn’t work out so well.