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Number three draft pick Hugh McCluggage has surprised the football world by requesting a trade from the Brisbane Lions just 15 minutes after being selected.
McCluggage said that while he was really flattered that Brisbane had chosen to use their first pick on him, he felt he deserved better than being consigned to a team that had only made the finals once in the past 12 years.
“Look, I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I know I told the Lions that I would be happy to go to Brisbane, but everyone knows that’s just what you say to every team,” McCluggage said.
“I mean Brisbane, jeez! In the last two years, players have been getting out of there faster than stray cats on a greyhound track. Even their captain tried to get traded out.
“And everyone jokes about their training facilities being of third world quality. I don’t even know where the third world is and I had to google where the Gabba was.”
McCluggage said he would have been happy to go to Essendon where he would get the opportunity to play in front of large crowds weekly, or GWS, who are clearly now a strong premiership chance.
“When neither of them called out my name I suddenly got this sick feeling, like when you eat two Big Macs too quickly. I felt like my dreams of playing in a great AFL team were about to be shattered.”
“I was sort of numb when they presented me with my Lions jumper and I remember thinking I was going to have to wear that thing in public. I’d rather be seen in a safari suit.”
Other Lions players were sympathetic and advised him to do what they do and play at 50 per cent during games in the hope of getting delisted or traded out.
McCluggage’s parents were also disappointed.
Having hoped his son would be wearing an Essendon jumper, McCluggage’s father had just purchased a new OLED TV because he’d heard it really brings out the colour black.
“I mean what’s the point now if he’s going to be wearing burgundy, blue and yellow? We may as well have stayed with the Panasonic,” he said.
A spokesman for the Lions said that the wellbeing of their new recruits was their major priority and that their medical team was well versed in these areas.
Several recruiters voiced their concerns for the young man saying it proved the current system was flawed when teams like Hawthorn and GWS couldn’t automatically get hold of all the best talent in the country.
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