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Faux-clusive: Cricket Australia medical staff have instructed Pat Cummins to withdraw from the upcoming Chappell-Hadlee series so he may be available for national selection after he retires.
Cummins’ career has been a stop-start affair punctuated by small doses of cricket. However, this looked set to end against the Black Caps following his first international call-up since September 2015.
But high performance manager Pat Howard is keen to pull rank and prolong the cautious approach to the seamer’s recovery, targeting a return to cricket at the next Halley’s Comet sighting.
This comes after fresh concerns that Cummins could be red-flagging as an injury risk while his body readjusts to months of uninterrupted health.
As a result, the young tearaway will remain on his vegan-style training program consisting of pilates, wanton fine-tuning and anything else, provided it’s not bowling.
While Howard acknowledged Cummins would be devastated by the order to withdraw, he made no apologies for putting the bowler’s welfare first.
He maintained Cummins could spend the remainder of his professional career “two-to-three weeks away from bowling” if necessary, provided he is available for selection sometime before the grave.
Despite another hurdle in Cummins’ famously frustrating career, Howard remained confident there are prosperous times on the horizon for the young New South Welshman.
Howard confirmed the once-used pace ace was firmly in CA’s future plans, and that they view him as “someone who could easily play 80-100 Futures League games for his country.”
Howard also lauded the young quick’s resilience, making special mention of his staggering work ethic to remain on the marketing payroll every year since his solitary Test match.
“Being that good looking doesn’t come easy,” Howard fluttered.
“You’ve got to work for it.”
CA’s sports science program has come under heavy fire in recent years, with many holding it responsible for Australia’s booming crops of flops and crocked stocks.
The program’s effectiveness was further questioned last week when James Pattinson’s rehabilitation plan bugged-out and returned him to cricket as an aggressive T20 batsman.
Despite this, Howard remains a huge fan of his own work.
“Contrary to popular belief, cricket training is no longer about cricket.
“That’s why the 25.78 balls Pat delivered in the nets in 2012 are more than enough for now.”
Howard went on to further laud his medicine-based, cricket-free approach to cricket, assuring fans that the program will condition Australia’s bowlers to hit their peak “in their early 40s” to ensure lucrative availability for “years upon years of Big Bash League matches.”
When pressed on the side effects of workload management, such as increased risk of injury, loss of match fitness, and the complete violation of Australian cricket from top-to-bottom, Howard provided an unambiguous response.
“This is Australian cricket. We don’t gamble on our bowlers by playing them.”