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Who are these Boklings?

What used car is your team? (AFP PHOTO / Juan Mabromata)
Expert
18th August, 2017
61
1553 Reads

They are young. Only one is thirty. All but five are 27 or younger. Seven have not even reached 25. The median age is about 25.5.

They are inexperienced. The back three (bench included) has only nine caps, combined. This means that Raymond Rhule’s patented matador “please, sir, feel free to score” defence has only just begun.

The loose trio (even adding the reserve) can only claim 32 caps. The five non-Beast front-rowers only have 80 caps combined. Beast Mtawarira is in his swansong; Steven Kitshoff and his 13 caps are the future and this tournament will probably mark the transition. The starting halves have only 16 caps; if Elton Jantjies limps off, or suffers his typical yips under pressure, young Curwin Bosch will skip on, only a couple of years after matriculation.

They are fast. There is not a faster back in the Championship than Courtnall Skosan, except maybe Rhule or outside centre Jesse Kriel (strangely, speed seems to have a negative correlation with tackling).

Jaco Kriel won’t be left behind even by Michael Hooper; and Siya Kolisi has a real burst. Nobody moves 130 kg around much faster than Coenie Oosthuizen, and the Bok lock corps of Eben Etzebeth, Franco Mostert, and Pieter-Steph du Toit are remarkably agile and quick for their size.

They are fit. In times past, the All Blacks could find a gasping Jannie du Plessis or ponderous Willem Alberts or lazy JP Pietersen to run around in the last quarter. The least fit Bokling is probably flyhalf Elton Jantjies, who spends too much time in the barbershop and too little on the treadmill.

But the Lions were the best second half team in Super Rugby, the biggest units (Etzebeth and Mostert) score the highest in fitness drills, even Oosthuizen is probably only 123 kg now, and hooker Malcolm Marx has almost the perfect rugby physique.

Eben Etzebeth South Africa Rugby Union Springboks 2015

(AP Photo/Alastair Grant)

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They will set a ruck target from a big 12. Jan Serfontein and Damian de Allende (and presumed backup Rohan Janse van Rensburg) are not subtle playmaking runners, with soft passing skills. The goal of Ruck No. 1 is to get past the gainline, and have Ross Cronje swoop and pass in one fell swoop.

They will miss tackles. Rhule, Jesse Kriel, Jantjies, and du Toit have terrible technique, and Bosch clearly does not enjoy the activity.

Their lineout is iffy. Marx is a phenomenal prospect, and can dominate the middle channels, but he floats the ball. Short-armed Bongi Mbonambi, his (probably) politically-picked backup, was the worst lineout thrower in Super Rugby.

They can steal at lineout. Mostert, Etzebeth, and du Toit will give Gus Creevy, Stephen Moore, and Dane Coles the fits.

They will play the breakdown by committee. Kolisi is not really an opensider. Jaco Kriel is not really a blindsider. Uzair Cassiem is not a seasoned No. 8. But Marx, Oosthuizen, Mostert, and even Serfontein are menaces over the ball.

They are domestic. Only 42-cap utility back Francois Hougaard is currently not on a Super Rugby squad for 2018.

Let the games begin!

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