- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
Brisbane State Media – also popularly known as BS Media – is proud to present The People’s Daily; Queensland’s only source for unbiased reporting on the pristine and wondrous Brisbane Broncos. All hail Brisbane and all hail BS!
For those yet to be conscripted, The People’s Daily was established in honour of the seven legal premierships captured from the Malevolent South by our almighty and cryogenically-frozen emperor, Wayne Bennett.
Please enjoy BS Media’s frank and fearless reporting on the Broncos and all the club’s latest schemes.
New comrades and good blokes
In phenomenal news, the Broncos have acquired more good blokes.
After only three months in the ranks, Matthew Lodge has already performed many charitable deeds like building a church in the Philippines and beefing up our pack.
Despite this, media outlets from the Evil South are doubting Lodge to be fit and proper for service. This directly contravenes Queensland’s basic human right of being innocent until proven guilty, and guilty until proven a Bronco.
But whatever his past, Lodge is now fully cured after training the house down. Every man deserves a second chance, especially if he’s good and he plays for us.
(AAP Image/David Clark)
More good blokes
In further rehabilitation, Lodge has also assumed a mentoring role for James Roberts. This is reportedly having a positive impact on Roberts’ behaviour, and any footage to indicate otherwise will be incinerated.
Following their transcendent reinventions, both are set to be canonised in the Kremlin (Red Hill).
Financial matters
A complete self-audit of finances has revealed the Broncos to meet all fiduciary regulations. This was achieved after successfully negotiating to have Allan Langer exempt from the salary cap.
Further budgetary savings were made thanks to Andrew Gee, who took time out from fleeing to help post another $350,000 saving on running costs.
Club departures
The Broncos would like to thank those who have departed the club in the off-season, especially Ben Hunt. We appreciate your service to the cause, you filthy traitors. The club wishes you all the best being tracked by the Queensland CIA.
The club now plans to recoup personnel by annexing the Gold Coast, thus acquiring Ashley Taylor and Penrith.
Wounded infantry
Captain Darius Boyd has sustained an unfortunate hamstring injury which will see him undertake light duties for the foreseeable future. The cause of the injury is still unknown, but it’s probably Anthony Griffin’s fault.
(AAP Image/Dan Peled)
Mergers and acquisitions
BS Media and the Broncos are collaborating to further increase their 100 per cent market share on the free media. While already boasting a stranglehold on Friday night free-to-air broadcast space and a press corps terrified of Emperor Bennett, the conglomerate believes strengthening their monopoly will benefit citizens with a greater diversity of puff pieces and cover-ups.
Initial testing proves the public is receptive to the prospect of greater thought control, especially those results traced back to BS Media’s Troll Centres in Moscow and Ipswich.
Speaking at gunpoint, Queensland’s Minister for Media has also agreed to the changes.