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In early 2005, the Brumbies squad and management made a trip down to Manly to undertake our annual season planning. A range of topics were covered: from leadership and alcohol policies, to game plans and strategies.
No issue was off the table.
As we moved onto the subject of our team values, I distinctly recall Bill Young declaring that whilst winning was important to him, he considered having fun his top priority.
He argued that he loved being part of the Brumbies because of the people involved, and that by focusing on having fun, he was able to get the best out of himself both on and off the field.
Frankly, I was annoyed.
How could anything be more important to a sports person than winning! How could Youngy call himself a professional and hold this belief? How was it that his view was perfectly acceptable to many of my teammates?
How could they all be so naïve?
A few days ago, I went for a run around Canberra’s Lake Burley Griffin, and while I was completing my warm down stretches, I began to trawl through memories of my time as a professional rugby player.
I don’t often find myself inclined to introspection or reflection, but my time down by the lake was a profound experience.
I realised that my most treasured rugby memories had very little to do with playing the game.
Instead, my fondest recollections are of the fantastic people I’ve known and the many wonderful and sometimes crazy experiences we shared.
When I think of the Brumbies 2004 championship-winning season, I don’t remember the details of the matches, what the scores were, or how we won or lost.
But I certainly remember Matt Giteau’s sliding back the door on our moving minivan and posing shirtless to bemused onlookers on a busy South African highway.
I remember distinctly my many altercations with Steve Larkham.
When Steve’s consumed a beer or two, he morphs from the affable ‘Bernie’ into a rather pugnacious ‘Barney’ (of course, this was before he became the thoroughly professional coach he is today!).
As Barney, Steve had a peculiar and somewhat comical habit of attempting to “assault” his bigger and stronger teammates.
One such occasion occurred while in Cape Town in 2006.
At the time, South Africa was experiencing repeated electricity blackouts.
Despite being in a nightclub, Steve decided to use the cover of darkness to his advantage. Each time the lights went out, I received a flurry of blows to my head and body!
Somewhat predictably, what began as playful jabs turned into something slightly more serious, and I recall waking up the following morning to find fragments of Bernie’s skin embedded in my watch strap.
Good times.
Some images are forever burned into my mind.
Joe Roff performing power cleans in nothing but his underpants, a somewhat ‘dusty’ Owen Finegan being repeatedly struck in the head by the ball during a kick-off receipt drill, and I’ll never forget Jone Tawake informing our team doctor that he refused to travel with a certain teammate, for fear of catching his hay fever.
I’ll always treasure the privilege that was getting to know Shawn Mackay or the shock I felt learning about Julian Huxley’s brain tumour.
I guess my message to current players is this: acknowledge that the coming match is important.
How you train and play is a reflection of your values, and every match is chance to do something you love with your best mates.
But don’t for one second forget that the most important moments in your career have nothing to do with scoreboards or stardom.
Long after personal brands are finished and sponsors have left, long after celebrity has faded and the backslappers move on, once all of that is but a distant memory, the most valuable asset any rugby player, or indeed any person has left, is the quality of the relationships they have forged with the people they have know.
Psychologist and Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman summarizes decades of happiness research this way: “It is only a slight exaggeration to say that happiness is the experience of spending time with people you love and who love you.”
Bill Young knew this way back in 2005.
Perhaps I’m a slow learner, but I could not agree with him more.