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A letter to Ms Wilson after yet another attack on football

Roar Guru
25th August, 2012
74
1780 Reads

Dear Ms Wilson – I write to you regarding your recent article ‘Ending the ethnic turf wars played out on Australia’s soccer pitches is David Gallop’s first task’.

Or, as it is quite a long title, I’ll refer to it as ‘Chip on my shoulder the size of my head’ or ‘Fearmongering 101’.

I’m writing in to highlight the biggest threat to the game in Australia at this time and I’m not talking about off-field violence.

Bigoted reporting is one of the biggest issues the world game faces in Australia and I think we should recognise your role as a ‘Hero’ of such a fine practice.

When you do mention that ‘Administrators love using phrases like a “small minority of trouble makers”’ you neglect to follow that up with the fact that it is actually an extremely small minority.

If it is at bad as you are painting it to be, then all sport must be on the brink of anarchy. I expect to see flames and explosions from the tennis club down the road once the bake sale has finished but I’ll keep writing for now.

At this point you mention that soccer (because using the term football or the world game may give it credibility) is on the brink of ruin.

While I do have a lot of respect for your writing in general, and your spelling is impeccable, are you prepared to add facts to a diatribe or would that be too much to expect?

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You seem to have a great wealth of generic phrases saved up just to throw at a wall, just like something else that… oh I digress.

Anyway, it’s not that I don’t think you could be a good writer, it’s just that your blinkered view seems to be fitting for something more like The Onion, or The Oatmeal or maybe the back of a Fantails wrapper. Have you thought about Twilight fan fiction?

Yours,
Chris.

P.S. Loved that red flare smoke reference in the comic. You must have laughed about that for ages.

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