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NRL finals caught in pointless Shark net

It has been reported that seventeen players from the Cronulla Sharks have been issued with show-cause notices by ASADA. (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Colin Whelan
Expert
25th September, 2013
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1709 Reads

Queensland has a shark problem, however it’s the solution to this problem that may be doing the most harm.

You see for populous stretches of the Queensland coast, shark nets are put in place to protect swimmers.

While their reliability is somewhat questionable, what can be relied on is a whole bunch of turtles, dolphins, baby whales and just far more family friendly fauna in general to get caught in the nets each year.

By trying to net an exclusive with their ‘Sharks to Queensland’ article yesterday, a couple of rugby league journalists tangled up something bigger.

The NRL finals.

Now maybe it’s just the Fox Sports classic match nostalgia from this week affecting my brain, but for mine the preliminary finals tend to be the pick of finals football.

There’s just so much at stake.

Sure losing a grand final and crying like a menopausal onion peeler in front of millions on the telly is probably a fairly harrowing experience, but at least you get a parade and a bit of media love.

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Not to mention a buffet brekky.

What do the blokes who lose the preliminary final get?

Maybe a “Bad luck” text from Mum and an extra pineapple ring on your ham steaks back at the leagues club bistro.

This weekend should be no exception, and there’s plenty of good storylines to sink your teeth into. Knights versus Roosters…memories of Freddy’s sidestep and Joey’s mouthguard.

Manly versus Souths…can Watmough and Isaac Luke re-imagine the classic Piggins versus Reilly duel?

Honestly it should be enough for you to bite your hand off in anticipation.

But wait, what was the big story in the paper yesterday? ‘Move the Sharks’ version 5.0, resplendent with a hastily cobbled together clip art logo.

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The piece was basically along the lines of when the ASADA investigation is done Cronulla will be hit with more fines than Todd Carney driving home from Summernauts and won’t be able to pay them, and when they’re not able to operate financially the ARL Commission will ship the Sharkies North.

Approximately five seconds after being released into the wild the article was savaged as having as much substance as Sterlo’s hairbrush with David Smith, Steve Noyce, the territorial Parkwood Sharks and the entire state of Queensland harpooning the idea.

This is not to say that the prospect of handing the Sharks licence to another group is as far-fetched as say, the plot of Jaws 4, as I’m sure that some emergency plans were drawn up when the future was looking cloudy for the Sharks in March.

But aren’t there bigger fish to fry at the moment? Geez c’mon, Cronulla only got knocked out last weekend, their 2013 carcass isn’t even cold yet! Have a heart people.

So please, for a couple of weeks can we pull in the damn nets so that the magnificent big bastard that is the NRL final fortnight can frolic about, without getting tangled in some half-arse innuendo designed to ‘help’ the rugby league public by scaring them with something that there is no evidence will actually happen.

This is the best time of the season, time to pull up a spot on the hill, enjoy the show…and for a little while just stop worrying about what’s lurking beneath.

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