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For some time now, I’ve had the idea that when the occasion warranted it, I would submit the shortest Wallabies column in the history of The Roar.
It would go something like this:
The Wallabies…
Discuss.
And I’d leave the rest to the learned minds and acute observers that frequent these pages.
That occasion was very nearly today.
Because what can you say about the Wallabies at the moment, really, that hasn’t been said before? Pointing out the obvious flaws in technique and individuals and game plan is becoming tediously monotonous, and again, we’ve been through it all before.
I’ve done masochism; I’ve done clutching at the smallest signs of hope.
The first twenty minutes at Newlands in the early hours of Sunday were about as bad as I can remember. Because I took a bit longer to wake up, and therefore didn’t get the kettle on until after kickoff, I actually missed Adriaan Strauss’ try.
And I don’t even care.
Even seeing just the token replay at halftime, I quickly worked out what happened: the Wallabies didn’t put their bodies on the line, and Strauss strolled through. In the twelfth bloody minute of the game.
I’d barely sat down when Zane Kirchner went over from long range two minutes later, a movement that started with a decent pass made to look brilliant by a loss of footing, which in itself looked like something designed to mask what was a horrible mis-read in defence.
In fact, Joe Tomane had a bit of a habit of rushing in off his wing, and young Chris Feauai-Sautia was caught out of position late in the game, too, which allowed Fourie du Preez to put Willie ‘Spiders’ le Roux over.
Are Australian wingers allergic to sideline paint? Why the hell are blokes not trusting their mate inside them and rushing in from their wings all the time? And why isn’t the defensive coach addressing this ongoing problem?
Speaking of ongoing problems, the scrum issues were immediate and well familiar.
Yet again, Ben Alexander was either on roller stakes, or flat on his stomach, and yet again, there was little or no shove coming from the locks. This is now beyond frustrating; it’s bashing-your-head-into-the-desk territory.
If it’s perfectly clear to me – a non-tackling scrumhalf who never packed into a rugby scrum in my life – that the locks are packing too high, and therefore providing no power to the front row, then again I’ll ask why isn’t the scrummaging coach addressing this ongoing problem?
Between now and Christmas, the Wallabies face Argentina, New Zealand, England, Italy, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.
All of them on their home turf, and all of them likely to present a massive challenge in both set pieces, but particularly in the scrum.
Some, if not all of them will be thinking Santa has come early.
If the Wallabies don’t address the scrum issues quickly, I can see a return to the dark old days of 2005 and 2010 in Europe, and that’s a simultaneously distressing and sobering thought.
In a few different articles over the last little bit I’ve rhetorically asked the question, ‘How long will Ewen McKenzie’s honeymoon last?’, and I think we can safely say that the period where McKenzie escapes scrutiny is rapidly coming to an end.
To be clear, that’s not me thinking he’s been a failure, either, but rather that the time is hastily approaching where some serious questions will need to be answered.
How many of the current side would make the first XV if everyone were fit?
Why do the basic skill levels appear to be going backwards?
Why, when several Super Rugby sides were so hard at the ball this season, do the Wallabies have next to no breakdown presence?
Why can’t simple things like defensive communication, or back five scrum engagement height be addressed from game to game?
Of course, because there are so many issues to address within the Wallabies game at the moment, we’re also getting further and further away from seeing this supposed “Australian way” of playing rugby, and which McKenzie was employed to provide.
Come to think of it, the much-maligned South African style of rugby looked pretty bloody good, based on what the Springboks showed us in the first 20 minutes in Cape Town.
The real worry, sitting through that rather uncomfortable Newlands display, was that things might yet get worse before some proper actual signs of improvement emerge.
And if that’s the case, point me in the direction of rock bottom now. I’m thinking I might get there early and wait it out.