One of my favourite sayings is “too much sport is never enough”. Coincidentally, it’s one of my wife’s least favourite.
Over the next six weeks, that theory is going to be put very much to the test in what I can only describe as sporting nirvana.
Each day is a 24-hour sporting overload; a Pandora’s box of mouth-watering events to suit every taste; a smorgasbord of televised sport.
Are you ready with the remote? Are you excited? Can you visualise that look on my wife’s face?
Of course, the biggie is the World Cup. There’s a mixed bag of kickoff times here, with the 2am starts providing an interesting dilemma.
Do you plough through and stay awake? (Pro tip: Don’t try doing this after the pub or you’ll nod off before the national anthems.) Or do you grab a couple of hours sleep before setting the alarm clock for 1:56am?
The latter option gives you just enough time to shuffle downstairs and put the kettle on while trying your hardest not to wake the rest of the household up, a task that is by a law of science doomed to failure.
The 5am starts are far more civilised, unless of course you’re backing up from the 2am game. The 8am games are perfect, as long as you come up with a reasonable excuse for why you’ll be late for work.
The nocturnal viewing doesn’t end there. Wimbledon fits in nicely between World Cup games, and if last year’s tournament is anything to go by it’ll be a cracker. Or possibly a damp squib if it rains, as it has been known to do in London every now and again.
These can be long nights. I have the uncanny knack of tuning in to a game for a few minutes, then watching it in its entirety as a five-set epic finishes 18-16 in the fifth.
Then there’s the Tour de France, where we can revel in the beauty of the scenery, make promises that “one day I’m going over to watch it”, then debate if whether the winner is actually drug-free (unless it’s an Australian).
Seriously, though, what about those flag-waving lunatics who stand a hair’s breath from the cyclists?
At normal viewing hours there’s the AFL, which is a ripping season if you support the current Top 8. It’s close at the top, with only 4 points separating positions 2 and 8 on the ladder, and there are some blockbusters to look forward to over the next few weeks. Hopefully Essendon’s ASDADA saga finally comes to an end to put all parties out of their collective misery.
Switching codes to rugby league, and the next month brings us the next two installments of State of Origin. If the first game is anything to go by, we are in for a treat.
The Blues have a genuine chance of knocking off those noisy, irritating neighbors, so the scene is set for a couple of classics. Bring back the biff! Go the Blues!
There’s a bit of a break in Super Rugby before it returns later this month. Meanwhile, we have the internationals, and watching the Wallabies destroy France is always fun. Intriguingly, you never know which French team will turn up for the next game – the one that shows little interest and pouts around the pitch, or the puffed-out chests and Gallic flair that can dazzle like no other.
There’s also a fascinating series over the Tasman where the Kiwis aren’t having it all their own way with the visiting English, and the next couple of Tests could produce some fireworks.
Heading across to North America, and once our Prime Minister has finished upsetting the locals, there’s plenty to look forward to.
I’m no real basketball fan but the NBA Finals do grab my attention. Still, my theory of starting every game with the scores tied at 98-98 and playing for five minutes does have some merit.
The Stanley Cup Finals are on, and although it can be difficult to follow the puck on TV it’s well worth watching. The Boston Bruins snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the final few minutes of last year’s decider was sport at the very highest level.
And just to cap it all off, golf’s US Open is on as well.
So get your No Doze ready, harden up and get ready for a feast of sport. If your better half starts complaining, tell him or her it’ll all be over in about six weeks.
And then the Commonwealth Games start.
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