Go into any one of Cristiano Ronaldo’s 27 houses and on the bookshelf, next to Gabriel Villa’s The Metrosexual Man, you will find a worn-out copy of Stanislavski’s An Actor Prepares.
If you had of popped your head into Portugal’s dressing room before any match during the World Cup, you will have seen Ronaldo lighting a candle and praying under a framed photo of the great Marlon Brando.
This might seem like strange behaviour for a footballer, but sadly, he’s not Robinson Crusoe. The ‘art’ of diving in football has become commonplace and something people expect to see multiple times every match.
It turns out that this No.10 from Middleton Town in the featured video has been bitten by the acting bug too.
In a performance that would make Nicholas Cage blush, the theatre-loving midfielder fervently flings himself to the ground after being savagely brushed by his opponent’s… fingertip.
So what’s the pesticide for this dastardly bug?
It’s cheese. Good old wholesome cheese.
Law 12.3 says that a player must be cautioned (i.e. shown a yellow card) if they attempt “…to deceive the referee e.g. by feigning injury or pretending to have been fouled (simulation).”
However, just like The Sopranos, it cuts to black before we find out if our anti-hero got his comeuppance.
He’s been taking plenty of lessons from Ronaldo, Neymar and, who can forget, the devastating impact on the back of Pepe that sent him into a world of pain.
So we’ll let you be the judge, Roarers.
Is this a foul or a dive? An Oscar or a Razzie?
Let us know in the comments.