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Gold Coast must ruin everything and pick up Jack Martin

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26th November, 2019
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If the world were a good and just place, Jack Martin would be wearing navy blue. But it’s not and he isn’t.

It was supposed to be simple. Martin wanted to come to Carlton because why wouldn’t he? It’s the best club in the entire world.

He’d stand tall beside Patrick Cripps and be kicking it to Charlie Curnow with a reconstructed knee and Harry McKay and Mitch McGovern and Eddie Betts.

Every time a player nominates a non-Carlton club, I can’t help but wonder what misfortunes led them to their terrible decision.

The Blues wanted Martin because we’ve been trash for a long time and he’s better than almost everyone there. Not to say Martin’s just a forward but if I have to watch defenders run amok against us with ease for another year, I’ll turn off. I swear, this year, I’ll do it.

And Gold Coast would get rid of him because why would they want to keep somebody who is ostensibly unhappy? It goes against those abstract concepts of chemistry and cohesion that probably mean little but are valued so highly. Besides, at the end of the day, we do our best to make other people happy.


Oh, but no. The AFL operates under different guidelines, or maybe it’s a mirror to our reality. It’s a conspiratorial place where mediocrity is rewarded with club concessions, club concessions are used for player retention, and player retention means week after week of understated performances for a substandard team.

So why would the Suns, with all the money and picks in the world, waltz into the draft and pass any advantage to Carlton? To satisfy the desires of a wantaway player? They shouldn’t. I wouldn’t. Not for a million bucks. Any salary-based resentment harboured by Martin’s teammates can be resolved with the money in the banana stand.

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I don’t know why Gold Coast have drawn the line at Jack Martin but, after endless posturing, they have to take him. They’re too far in.


Martin will, if acting rationally, bring them down from the inside, Carlton miss out on another quality footballer, and I have to watch us struggle again.

Let’s look at the alternative.

Gold Coast pass on Martin, Melbourne inexplicably does too. We pick him up for nothing.

Jack Martin kicks 80 goals. We win the premiership. Patrick Cripps secures the Brownlow and all is right in this neatly constructed world.