With all the speculation currently flying around in the AFL, I thought I would write a little poem about the art of footy speculation.
If you write about footy, don’t write about the kicks;
The bombs and the bananas that sail right through the sticks;
Write about contracts and the deals we wanna know;
Like will Buddy next year decide to stay or will he go?
You’re a journo first rate if you can speculate.
Don’t write about tackles, hard and tough;
Don’t write about the umps, ‘coz we couldn’t give a stuff;
Don’t write about Cyril, slicing through the pack;
Don’t write about Howe, up high on someone’s back.
Please don’t exaggerate, just try to speculate.
You can write about the future, which nobody knows;
Like how much cheating will ASADA expose;
Will Collingwood supporters have a cause to celebrate?
Top four finish, or at least the final eight?
It’s never too late to speculate.
You can write about the present, as long as it’s unclear;
Is Riewoldt really at his best this year?
Does Dane like Nathan, or avoid him like the plague?
You can write about a hammy but the answer must be vague.
Whatever you state, you gotta speculate.
Come on you journo bureaucrats;
Quit analysing game plans and quit giving us the stats;
We wanna know when LRT and Pavlich will be back;
We wanna know if Hirdy might be ripe to get the sack;
What makes our game so great is that we speculate!
Who’s in your ultimate team? Pick the best team and compete with other fans for daily prizes on Draftstars. For the best odds on the game try out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Think. Is this a bet you really want to place? Set a deposit limit.
He and Hawthorn coach Sam Mitchell do not like having a player to sub on and would rather have an extra player available on…
Collingwood led by a point with minutes to go, Kyle Langford had the chance to be the hero with a set shot, however, he missed, and we saw the first draw of the season.
Eddie McGuire's latest bold idea has dropped - for North Melbourne to take over the outskirts of Melbourne and use it to rejuvenate the…
For all the pomp and circumstance that surrounds the now-traditional Anzac Day clash at the MCG, there has been one thing conspicuously lacking over…
The AFL has confirmed the right decision was made after a ball ricocheted off a boundary umpire's leg during the third quarter of Melbourne's…
We’re taking a look at one player from each team that needs to make a difference this week, starting with the ANZAC Day games.
