Where is Australia's least successful sporting city?

Roar Guru

19th February, 2014

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The Crowd

Roar Guru

19th February, 2014

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Recently I was reading a sports blog based out of Cleveland, Ohio and they claimed in one recent post the following.

“Before yesterday’s Super Bowl win by the Seahawks, Seattle was the only city with teams in three of the major American sports leagues (MLB/NBA/NFL) that came close to Cleveland’s 49-year title drought, with 34 years since the SuperSonics’ NBA title in 1979.”

“Now the next closest are Oakland (A’s/Warriors/Raiders) at 24 years, and Minneapolis-St. Paul (Twins/Timberwolves/Vikings) at 22.

“Cleveland is lapping the field in sports futility now, by far. It’s as if this place is cursed or something,” it was said on Cleveland Frowns.com.

All of which made me wonder, what is Australia’s most futile sporting city?

Where in this grand country obsessed by sport does it suck the most to barrack for the local team(s)?

For the purposes of this piece not taking a week to research I am limiting myself to Australia’s most popularly attended professional male sports, cricket, Australian rules football, association football and both rugby codes.

Cricket (Sheffield Shield)
Queensland was famous when I was growing up for having never won the Shield (a drought of 60+ years) despite nurturing such talent as Craig McDermott, Carl Rackemann and Ian Healy. The Bulls finally broke through in 1994/95 under Stuart Law.

Since their breakthrough win, Queensland has enjoyed a golden era winning the competition a further six times (including three consecutive seasons from 1999/2000 to 2001/02) and also finishing as runners-up six times.

Their most recent title, a victory over the Tasmanian Tigers in 2011–12 saw the Bulls win by seven wickets in one of the most closely contested finals of recent times.

Since a final was introduced to the Sheffield Shield competition in the 1982/83 cricket season the Queensland Bulls have contested 18 out of 30 finals.

Since Tasmania was admitted in 1977/78, the Bulls have finished in sixth (i.e. last) just twice. NSW are a perennial powerhouse in cricket providing a lot of players for the Test team which necessitates the next level of players stepping up.

With the largest population, there is no lack of talent from which to back fill vacancies in the state team created by Test call-ups.

Australian Rules Football (VFL/AFL)
Mostly shrugging aside the supplements saga of 2013 like the Hulk in an Avengers movie, the AFL is the behemoth of Australian sport. It is not quite as big as the NFL is in the USA, but certainly the local leader in professionalism on and off the park.

A large part of this success is the draft and salary cap mechanisms that ensure fans of most clubs can hold on to hope that one year within their lifetimes, their club’s off-field staff will get it right with list management, coach appointment and fixture requests to raise the big trophy at the MCG in September.

That said, the AFL’s equalisation methods still haven’t been enough for one or two clubs (St.Kilda and Footscray) to break free of the malaise of mediocrity that seems to attract itself to these AFL teams like a Herald Sun reporter to rumours of a footy player’s misbehaviour.

Rugby League (NSWRL/NRL)
Devastated by the civil war of the mid-1990s Super League era, the confusion of two concurrent competitions still wasn’t enough for the hapless Cronulla Sharks to sneak up on the other teams and notch up a maiden premiership win.

And given Colin Barnett’s stance on the ocean’s apex predator, they ought to be thanking their lucky stars they never considered re-location South Melbourne Swans-Style to WA’s capital city.

Brisbane		Last win	Years since
Cricket	QLD Bulls	2011-12	2
VFL/AFL	Lions	2003	8
NSWRL/NRL	Broncos	2006	8
Rugby	Reds	2011	3
Dom. football	Roar	2010-11	3
Newcastle
Cricket	NSW Blues	2007-08	6
VFL/AFL	No team	N/A	*
NSWRL/NRL	Knights	2006	8
Rugby	NSW Waratahs	2011	3
Dom. football	Jets	2008-09	5
Sydney
Cricket	QLD Bulls	2011-12	2
VFL/AFL	Swans/Giants	2005/NA	9
NSWRL/NRL	Cronulla	est.1967	47
	South Sydney	1908	106
Rugby	Waratahs ent. 1993	1993	21
Dom. football	SFC/WSW	2010	4
Melbourne
Cricket	Vic bushrangers	2009-10	4
VFL/AFL	Saints	1966	48
	Bulldogs	1954	60
NSWRL/NRL	Storm	2006	8
Rugby	Rebels est.	2010	4
Dom. football	Victory/Heart	2011	3
Adelaide
Cricket	SA redbacks	1995-96	18
VFL/AFL	Crows	1998	16
	Power	2004	10
NSWRL/NRL	No team	N/A	*
Rugby	No team	N/A	*
Dom. football	Adelaide Utd	2003	11

Conclusion
There is no single place that harbours all of our terrible sports teams as Cleveland appears to be for America.

However we know that many sports fans follow a number of sports to give them a fix year-round. If you were a Sydney FC fan in the summer and a Cronulla Sharks fan in the winter you might wonder what you’d done to follow two clubs in such different leagues but both in disarray.

Down in Victoria if you were a Melbourne Heart fan in summer and a Bulldogs or Saints fan in the winter you would need a hardy constitution to continue to stump up your hard-earned for a membership season after season.

This is especially so considering Melbourne Heart have only qualified for the A-League finals once and the Saints continue to find new ways to self-destruct in Melbourne’s most popular sport.

In Adelaide I know from personal experience there are a number of Crows fans who follow Adelaide United in the summer. So nothing much to celebrate there for those folks.

In Brisbane they appear to have had a blessed run of sporting success in the early 2000s with wins in AFL footy [2003], Rugby [2011], the A-League [2011] and the dominant sport of rugby league [2006].

So what have I missed? Where is it hardest to be a sports fan in Australia?

A rugby league fan in South Australia who until recently couldn’t even watch State of Origin live at the same time as London, England could?

It can’t be easy being an Aussie Rules fan in Tasmania.

Tasmania is a state that loves the indigenous code and which sends senators/parliamentarians to lobby on its behalf for an AFL team only to see ‘the heathens’ of Western Sydney given a team they appear to neither want nor support.

I know it isn’t all beer and skittles being an Aussie rules fan in Adelaide despite the Adelaide Advertiser being mocked by some Port fans as the Crowvertiser.

The VFL expansion of the 80s and 90s has almost killed what was once a vibrant local footy comp and the vexing issue of AFL reserves teams in the SANFL has further diminished the lustre of that once proud competition.

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