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The 'facts' about the great Mark Ella

Roar Guru
12th May, 2008
26
5054 Reads

There’s been some talk in recent weeks on The Roar about Mark Ella and the quality of rugby he played back in his heyday. It got me thinking about a few Mark Ella theories and facts, which I’d like to share.

The ball didn’t float through Mark Ella’s hands. He created a magnetic force that allowed the ball to travel from the halfback to the inside centre.

Mark Ella never played for the 77/78 Schoolboys, he just made those around him look like school boys.

Mark Ella didn’t out-think Welsh number 8 Eddie Butler, he merely controlled his will.

Mark Ella never passed the ball around Andy Hayden’s body. Ella doesn’t move with Earth’s orbit.

Mark Ella didn’t need a kicking game. His kicking game felt inferior to his running game and left him.

Michael O’Connor demanded the quick service only Mark Ella provides when he visits restaurants.

Mark Ella can walk through a maze by running straight.

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Mark Ella can ascend floors of buildings without the need to step.

Mark Ella never played Sevens, just teams with eight players afraid to compete against him.

Mark Ella didn’t lack speed, teams he played were quick to try and stop him.

Mark Ella’s ability was so powerful, it could make Campo shut-up.

Mark Ella could win a tug-of-war single-handedly against 10 back-rowers because he pulls them towards him.

Mark Ella doesn’t wear watches because he doesn’t need time.

Mark Ella works in a cubicle these days because he doesn’t need room to move.

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So, what are some of your Mark Ella facts or theories?

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