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Sydney, June 25, 2004. The footy Show's Reg Reagan, the alter-ego of ex-rugby league player Matthew Johns, meets a young look-a-like during a DVD signing at Sydney's Virgin Mega Store. AAP Image/Dean Lewins
Fear not Mums and Dads, your loyal moral protectors of the government and media are here once again to save the day. Forget global warming, financial crisis or even Peter Andre breaking up with Jordan.
Nope, people seem fascinated by the goings on in player’s bedrooms, which is slightly ironic given this whole saga started by people watching the goings on in other player’s bedrooms.
But this issue seems to have morphed into the debate over we need some sort of moral code for our sportsman above and beyond the criminal laws of the land.
The dreaded term “Role Model” has cropped up about one thousand times.
Role models for me is about out-sourcing morality. Given Australians’ incredible appetite for pornography there must certainly have been some parents who have spoken out against Johns only to then watch similar acts on their home PC when their kids were tucked up safely in bed.
As I have argued before I have no problem with players being prosecuted if they have broken the law, but this new morality code seems to be verging on bizarre.
What is more I’ll argue that we are going down a pretty dangerous path by trying to include some sort of clause in a player’s contract which states that they must not be morally questionable when behind closed doors.
I’m not contract lawyer, but I reckon it could be tricky.
First no going out in Kings Cross, then no drinking and now no sex which mums and dads might find off putting even if all parties were consensual.
I’m not condoning non-consensual sexual violence, but here is the rub. Group sex is not abuse.
As off putting as it sounds, group sex happens. Some people are into it. Men are into it, women are into it.
Personally, it has never floated my boat. The thought of seeing any of my mates going at it hammer and tong is more likely to make me join the priesthood and give the game away than take a number. But horses for courses.
I’ve spoken with rugby league players who have known it has gone on in their clubs, I’ve spoken with rugby union players who have also concurred.
I’ve spoken to soldiers, you know the blokes we all call heroes on ANZAC Day, who have had far more grimey tales than any of the aforementioned athletes.
And I’ve also spoken to women who liked the idea (I wasn’t propositioning them at the time, as I said it’s not my bag).
So while commentators and politicians have all spoken motherhood statements like “let’s all unite against abuse” and referred to the fact that no one would ever consent to it they’ve missed the point.
They are wrong, people do.
Maybe that is where things get messy, and the lines blurred.
The women who have commented openly on the topic all seem to have the perspective of the mother speaking about their daughter: “she’d never do it.” If only it were that simple.
Liberal MP Pru Goward made a number of comments this week.
“Risky sexual behaviour doesn’t lead to a white wedding.”
There would surely have been more than a few feminists up in arms at a comment which seemed to imply all women are after a white wedding and toss in a picket fence and domestic duties for good measure.
Maybe not everyone is into white weddings, but just their version of a good time.
Goward also remarked “if there is a young woman in Australia who doesn’t know that having sex with one or two men at once is not risky sexual behaviour she perhaps needs to go back and look at a bit more television.”
Eh? Surely a leading female politician could have better advice than watching some more Bondi Vet or the Biggest Loser.
If you were confused by that opinion then reading the Herald’s Miranda Devine hardly made things clearer.
Devine argued on behalf of all women that “it would be a rare woman who would willingly consent to any experience like that without being damaged in some way.”
No wonder these athletes need education courses.
First no meant no, but now yes might mean no later on down the track.
Politicians aren’t really interested in solutions to these perceived social problems, they are too complex, they just want to sound like they do.
Like the Greens Sarah Hanson-Young who wants a “universal code of conduct” to foster “respectful relationships”.
“Respectful relationship” being what exactly? Do players who get divorced face having their contract torn up? Sounds like classic political hollow rhetoric.
But from reading a lot of the material floating a round in cyberspace, a lot of the anger towards players seems to stem from a sort of envy.
You can sense an anger. These blokes are just dumb footballers, it is not right that they get all the girls and the attention.
Others seem to think it is all justice because they don’t find the Footy Show funny.
Funny how many people feel the need to refer to footballers as stupid, I’ve spoken to plenty and they always seem to come across as more intelligent than great swathes of the population.
Because they have never come close to experiencing the adulation that athletes get they don’t seem to believe the stories of what goes on. It is like “If I have to club them over the head, then so must they.”
From the dawn of time, people have found fame attractive and have indulged those with it.
JFK, Pele, Magic Johnson, George Best, were all exceedingly talented men but whose bedroom antics might not have been one for grandma.
So here is my advice.
To the administrators, you can pour as much money as you want into education to attempt to present a sanitised view of the world to sponsors and families, but you will always get someone who likes something a bit weird between the sheets.
To the players, you can do what you want so long as it is within the law (and let’s face it most things are) and you are positive everyone is as keen to be there as you.
And to the women, if you don’t like what they are saying or offering…..knee them in the balls.
Now bring on the footy… which isn’t actually going too badly given you have a sold out ground for the first time since 2002.
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