Australia and New Zealand are getting closer. In fact, a few weeks ago, the Kiwis organised to move the whole bottom end of the South Island closer to Australia to help cut down the distance that Aussie teenagers have to row to make it across the Tasman.
There’s talk of a common currency, common borders, and a bit more common sense as these two sibling rivals realise their affection for one another and make some friendly free trade.
I’m all for a Kiwi invasion.
They’re bloody good neighbours and great mates in a scrap. And just like most brothers, the little brothers always relish an opportunity to ambush big brother.
This past year we Aussies sent the Kiwis one million holiday-makers. In return, they’re inviting us to invade their newest, and perhaps greatest ever sporting event, the New Zealand Winter Games.
Aussies are a bit second-hand when it comes to most winter sports, but one sport where we’ve had the wood on them is in Ice Hockey.
New Zealand has never beaten Australia, ever.
In fact, the first game between the two nations was a world record of an ugly kind, a 58-0 big brother welcome to the sport. Must have been soon after Sir Richard cleaned us out in the cricket.
This weekend the event gets underway, and even from across the ditch it looks HUGE.
The Kiwi ambush is to lure an Australian side onto their territory, put us in front of the TV cameras at the Dunedin ice rink, and attempt to pay us back for all the past wrongs: the 58-0 beating, the underarm ball of 1981, and stealing credit for the pavlova.
It’s not the official Aussie team that’s going to play two International ice hockey “Tests” against the Ice Blacks, as they’re known, but a combination of two Australian national league club teams.
This means there’ll be a couple of ring-ins from other countries, but I still reckon the Kiwis are setting up brotherly ambush. There’s bound to be noogies and mega-wedgies when the puck drops.
It’s going to be awesome. The only thing that could make it better is to have Lucy Lawless sing the national anthems in a bunny suit.
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