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This was reportedly the response when some Melburnians were asked how they felt when their city was awarded the latest Super rugby franchise. Not a great shock, it must be said.
The majority of “sports-lovers” in Melbourne can’t tell a scrum from a tackle. It’s only mildly surprising that they don’t stand during a lineout waiting for the national anthem to be piped in.
As much on-field success as Melbourne Storm has had in the NRL since it rose out of nothing, there is still no material grassroots support or decent junior league.
They are mostly supplanted Queenslanders who like playing and living in Melbourne because “it keeps them out of the spotlight”.
Granted rugby is played in the private schools in Melbourne from where a sprinkling of Wallabies have emerged (doubtless with ex-pat fathers), but will the new franchise be the success that John O’Neil keeps trumpeting?
Short answer is no.
Rugby in Australia is gasping for air. There are problems at all levels and the ARU believes the solution is to create another franchise to give the game a national reach.
It’s like having a child to rescue a flagging relationship. It ain’t gonna change nothin’.
The game is struggling to garner meaningful interest in its so-called home states. How many people would be devastated if all of a sudden the Waratahs and the Reds ceased to exist?
Not momentarily inconvenienced, but seriously devastated?
The dwindling rugby public in the eastern states would simply watch the NRL instead and perhaps secretly wonder why they didn’t think of this earlier.
As for the good burghers of Perth, if the Western Force vanished overnight it wouldn’t be long before they found something interesting to fill the time on a Saturday night.
Even in Perth.
The passion and loyalty demonstrated by NRL and AFL supporters is in stark contrast to this. We have seen the furore in the past when Super League threatened rugby league clubs’ survival. Souths were reinstated after an unprecedented groundswell of community support.
In the AFL, the Western Bulldogs and North Melbourne, the two smallest Victorian clubs in the league, have each fought to the death for survival. Again on the back of a dedicated and passionate supporter base.
You can’t buy passion Mr O’Neil. Put simply, people have to care.
If rugby is to maintain its niche status in Australia, there are serious issues that need to be addressed before a new franchise is even contemplated.
The list is not short but the ARU would do well to start with intense lobbying to overhaul the laws of the game. Even the rugby scribes agree that these antiquated decrees are choking the game.
A final thought.
The image on the John Eales medal depicts one of Australia’s most formidable and respected Wallaby captains. He isn’t soaring to win a lineout or diving to score a try or crunching an opponent in a tackle.
No, he’s on one knee lining up a place kick.
The game needs a Melbourne franchise about as much as it needs a five-point penalty goal.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.